Monthly Archives: November 2014

An individual amidst the crowd

…And a great crowd followed him and thronged about him.  And there was a woman who had had a flow of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse.  She had heard the reports about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment.  For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I shall be made well.”  And immediately the hemorrhage ceased; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease.  And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone forth from him, immediately turned about in the crowd, and said, “Who touched my garments?”  And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’”  And he looked around to see who had done it.  But the woman, knowing what had been done to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him, and told him the whole truth.  And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”  –Mark 5:24-34

 And behold, a woman who had suffered from a hemorrhage for twelve years came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment; for she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I shall be made well.”  Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well.  –Matthew 9:20-22

As he went, the people pressed round him.  And a woman who had had a flow of blood for twelve years and had spent all her living upon physicians[a] and could not be healed by any one, came up behind him, and touched the fringe of his garment; and immediately her flow of blood ceased.  And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the multitudes surround you and press upon you!”  But Jesus said, “Some one touched me; for I perceive that power has gone forth from me.”  And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed.  And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”  –Luke 8:42-48



As if the Lord, to quote St. Bernard, willed to teach us thereby that neither zeal for good works, nor the sweetness of divine contemplation, nor the tears of penitence would have been acceptable to him apart from obedience.  –Abbot Vital Lehodey, O.C.R. ‘The Way That Leads To God’.



Who am I Lord?
Who are You Lord?
Reveal, provide understanding
Grace wisdom and knowledge
Unknowing, allow mysteries to remain
Perception to pertain to progress
Towards truth aim
Cleverness be shamed
Useless self-glorifying distractions disdained
Aloof to complexity, remain still
Unafraid of a lack of recognition,
Humble away anxiety, worldly concerns begone
Within simplicity, repose on into contemplation

Who am I Lord?
I get so confused
I am dull witted when others are brilliant
So many astound,
Effortlessly articulating, they amaze
I am lost to words, unable to speak
Baffled while others are cunning
Easily amused, dejected, always anticipating
I am lost
Pleased with ignorance before Almighty Majesty
I am an imbecile

More Lord, who am I in your eyes?
Why tendencies that bemuse?
Inherent intent of liabilities confuse
Shortcomings, atop blessings, reap waywardness
Distance becomes natural to one who knows not proper order
Hierarchy manifesting supernaturalism
To know myself is a flame
Purgatory entrancement, pain and Presence
Why the difficulty staying focused?
Consternation, distraction, wandering.
Force me to face delusion,
Errant internal transmissions screaming for allocation
Placement forced through sheer will
Self-will run riot
Pride, brokenness rearing a multitude of many ugly heads
Reenergize adoration for alone time with nobody
A Presence exposed
Distance, space, empty into a void
Make not the ways of pleasure profitable
Allow not the filling of all that fills not
Grace with rewards leading to greater understanding
Stealthily advancing into esoteric matters
Who are You Lord?
Who am I Lord?
Building upon Catholic dogma,
Sacraments, the Eucharist, and Mary
Prescribed practices,
Essential attendance,
Caring not for recognition or rewards,
Teaching not, while willing to be taught
Settle into simple inquiry
Through faith
Through hope
Through charity
Who am I?
Who are You God?


No to the Supernatural

Interpreted properly, the following quote from Umberto Eco’s ‘Baudolino’ is a funny exhortation on John of the Cross’ warnings regarding the supernatural. The extraordinary experienced must be dismissed, especially by those inclined toward the supernatural.

…when I told my father Galiaudo that I saw Saint Baudolino he hit me on the back thirty times with a stick saying O Lord this had to happen to me, a son who sees things and cant even milk a cow either I bust his head with my stick or I give him to one of those men who visit the fairs making a monky dance. My sainted mother shouted good-for-nothing your the worst, a son who sees saints and my father said its not true he sees saints he’s a worse liar than Judas. He makes things up to get out of working…


Fear or Love

Timidly a young girl made her way through the crowd. Strange was her appearance, in the midst of death and despair. She was in rags, gutter finery. Sonia stopped in the doorway. She forgot her gaudy silk dress, her immense crinoline, her bright shoes, the parasol, and the absurd straw hat with its flaring feather. Under the hat was a pale, frightened little face with lips parted and eyes staring in terror. Sonia was a small thin girl of eighteen, fair hair, rather pretty, wonderful blue eyes.

I perceived something mystical in Dostoevsky’s description of Sonia, the young prostitute Raskolnikov, a disastrous example of self-will run riot, falls in love with. Amidst the stark reality of life, a poor creature of pitiful upraising, abandoned to the extremes of sin in regards to survival, she dresses herself fancifully and beautifully. She possesses hope of greater things. Her innocence will not give into despair. However, confronted with a greater reality, her costume, her mask, proves lacking. Fear dominates, yet still an openness, a malleability, the ability to surrender self-will shines through. Ridiculously, naively, Sonia is beautiful. She yearns for love, while experiencing fear.

God, I imagine, observes Sonia in her finery lovingly, adoring her faith in hope. Seeing the heart, knowing the willingness to love, He sees her desire for goodness. All-knowing, benevolent, God sees the child within. Broken experiences, pain, suffering, all the things that drove this sweet child He created in His image and likeness to a desperate life of selling her temple, her body, for the sensual pleasure of men are acknowledged. Absolute love, God is wise beyond measure.

Emotional in nature, Sonia is a precious symbol. Yet intention and a pure heart are not enough. The sensual life must be addressed, brought to healing, in order to provide God with a vessel capable of receiving His truth. The youthful hope of Sonia will be crushed, hardening her heart, if the promptings of God are not followed toward a greater understanding of God. Sonia is beautiful, inside and out adorned in a fine outfit and expressing fear, vulnerability, however there is an adversary roaming about, roaring like a lion, seeking to feast upon the hope of the weak. The malicious liar who dines with passion upon the faith, hope, and charity of earth bound misfits exists for more than sensual pleasure with Sonia. He corrupts upon the dramatics of eternity.

The choice is fear or love. Principalities and forces of darkness promote the fear. God oversees all, tendering mercy through the dispenser of grace Mary, salvation through his only begotten son Jesus Christ, accessible divinity through the Holy Spirit, wisdom and examples through the saints, an army in the Church Militant, cleansing and nutrition through the sacraments, a purging through the church of Purgatory, and glory through life everlasting in the company of all that is pure and holy within the ultimate church of heaven.