Discorded Affections

At times immense viewing, I feel my father breathing through my eyes,
Discontent, malcontent. A washed in the misery of a moment. Creation surrounding.
A sunrise upon a snowy morning, brushed pruinose trees, squirrels anxious to feed,
Beauty transfixed. All is good. Moral theology. The Creator and creatures.
Locked within amentia, descending, replicating back, my father’s father’s father’s….unsatisfied. Demented, sadness, loving, profoundly feeling individuality.
Are you satisfied screaming unsatisfied demands, insisting upon insisting, frustrated, perplexed, muscles sore from aching, trying so awfully hard at everything,
Tumbling weed, inexorably breathe, desiring conceive, the foundational underpinnings, impossible dreams,
Anchors away, batten down the hatches, notch by notch, minute by minute, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,
The wind blowing through the branches, flittering, fluttering, song birds singing, a rabbit nesting, the sound of a soft splash unseen, distant waters reflecting,
Lacking love, achromic, black and white fading into a devastating grey, emotionally longing lustfully, wanting nothing more for nothing more calls in upon itself, the quietest moments preoccupations bore, wanting to give it all away for lasting peace,
An exchange, a word, the word, loganamnosis, unheard, momentary reverberations, knowing the possessed, the gifts received at birth, the Creator perceived.
Nothing understood, action remains unrequiting. An unprofitable servant, serving one’s self, ungratefulness.
Guilt, shame, repressed, unequivocally slothful in repose, unable to accomplish generational insufficiencies, momentary, flashes of truth, flashes of pain,
A dove alighting, a crow never returning, a black stallion, a white mare, a charioteer, a romance, the Divine courting, unconditionally calling,
‘Lord, are you near?’
‘I AM, my dear.’
‘Do you really love me?’
‘Do you love the squirrels? Ten fold and a thousand times more.’
Eternal laughter, tears, a knowing, aware…


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