A story from ‘Healing the Eight Stages of Life’.
One wise mother told us how she prayed for a son, Michael. When Michael was in the autonomy stage, he found his baby brother dead in his crib one morning. Michael loved his roommate brother and was heartbroken. Two years later, five year old Michael was refusing to go to school. Since he was doing well in school and had many friends, Michael’s mother knew there must be something else bothering him. She was led to take Michael back to the scene of his brother’s death.
“Mike, can you see your bedroom and Jesus in the corner?”
“Let Jesus take you over to the crib and show you Tom the morning you found him dead. What is Jesus saying and doing?”
“Jesus has his hand on my shoulder and he is sad. He says Tom died not because of anything I did but because he wasn’t made right.”
“Do you fear that I to might die or get hurt if you go to school?”
“What does Jesus say?”
“He says he will never leave me.”
I like this story from ‘Healing the Eight Stages of Life’, a return to innocence in order to move forward in innocence. I am currently conducting a fast, a Master Cleanse, three days into the cleanse and detox process, after a preceding day of only fruit and granola bars. It is amazing the clarity of mind a fast induces. It is astounding to receive communion while the body is allowed to heal itself, taking a break from the overindulgent eating I tend to involve myself in. The psychology behind the fast is important, examining and contemplating eating habits. What is the purpose of eating? Stripping myself of meals, the reality strikes that hunger is not the driving force behind my eating. Entertainment and pleasure is the true motivating force. God is good and all giving. The clarity of mind brings about a deeper peace calling forth intention. I am learning to leave most of that behind, decreasing and losing, while focusing on how I want to live the rest of my life. The religious life appears as a dream, yet a sublime refuge upon a mental mountaintop I am convinced is the proper place for such relief from the world. It is a life to aspire toward, not to pursue. It becomes more and more evident my deeper healing comes from learning to live a simple life of anonymity, work, and peace—responsibility and accountability daily factors—stripping and then stripping some more, learning to accept and abide in my place in the world, not even the desire to be a religious aficionado calling forth thought and behavior. The significant other eases into greater emergence. There are little moments absolutely sealing the deal. Kayaking she slipped and lost her balance entering her kayak, falling to the shore. Her vulnerability appeared precious. How could I not love her? Hospice volunteer work has receded for the time being. Many thoughts there, yet I will allow them to shape and form rather than be expressed. I am content in giving everything to bringing about a lasting relationship abiding within the love of Christ, a relationship uniting me with a significant other. The healing and revealing of the Father in all His majesty existing within the muddy and splendid details of sharing with one who entrenches herself soundly and firmly within my heart and mind. It is off to take a nap.