Introspection while looking out

Restructuring settles further, within the start of a new year. I attended noon mass at Holy Rosary in Little Italy, enjoying strombolis from Presti’s next door, proceeding to drive and eat, bound for St. Paul Shrine and Adoration prayer before work.  A noisy one chatters his way into my life, at service as a contractor, ever present as a friend.  The high efficiency furnace he installed performs remarkably.  Beyond warmth, it provides unexpected air movement, pleasingly presenting a freshness to the home.  Internally, I feel as if a bomb were detonated, blasting asunder a sense of normalcy.  Everything is changing.  Shell-shocked, a sense of calm prevails, a whisper imploring for finality, a further interior quieting.  No more expectations.  No more schemes.  Last night was one of intense dreams, vivid and intimate, the rescuer calling throughout the night. I cannot bear the immensity.  The complexities hurt too much.  The significant other places distance and depth, alone examining in introspect, a mirror upon one’s own imperfection.  Honest, open, and willing; potentialities remain alluringly intact.  Vermont lingers lovingly, retirement and peace, yet circumstance cannot provide until all resolution transpires, within the lack of clarity, patience exists, a heart grows fuller, sorrow and wonder prevail, prayer remains a launching pad, tears provide the cleansing of pride, silence the solution to a wicked tongue.  Life continues.


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