Preoccupied

The memory remains free—both it and the imagination must be so—and when they find themselves alone one would never believe what a turmoil they make and how they try to upset everything.  Personally, I get fatigued by it and hate it; often I beseech the Lord, if He must upset me so much, to let me be free from it at time like these.  “My God,” I say to Him sometimes, “when shall my soul be wholly employed in Thy praise, instead of being torn to pieces in this way, and quite helpless?”  This makes me realize what harm is done to us by sin, which has bound us in ways so that we cannot do as we would—namely, be always occupied with God.  –St Teresa of Avila autobiography.

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