I have been fixated on a Netflix tv series. Peaky Blinders is the title. The lead actor has me mesmerized, seeing myself within him. Humbly I say this for he is a man above me. All the struggles, all the opening himself to life, all the trying, all the stories within his eyes. I miss Gail. I felt I was a man alone, yet she loved me and we shared. I do not know if I can be a good man. I tend to find myself within falling, opening myself to damnation or salvation. Gail offers a path to the simple, a nice life. Within are struggles, the religious life is an embracing. What if our Holy Mother became so real one only wanted to die to be with her. Does God need me to do a greater mission? I have run out of words. I need and miss Gail.