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Sequester

Isolation,
Jesus glorified
Christ formation,
Holy Spirit inspired,
God, the Father unknown,

You
and
I
Alone.

Lord,
I have,
Nowhere,
Nothing at all,
Nihility,
Annihilated,
Wanderlust,
Disappearance,
Alienation,
Wounded,
Scarred,
Misgiving,
Mistrust,

Jesus,
I trust
in You,

To smash my heart,
To induce tears,
To heal my hurt through further hurting,
To strip me,
To leave me to waste,
To give me every chance to break,
Brittle and hard,
Fractured into little tiny pieces,
Scattered by the wind,

Arise
My Love,
Gather together,
Bring me in,
Infuse peace,
Teach wisdom,
Grant understanding,
Dispense purpose,
Allow multiplication,

All for Your glory,
Graces at stake,
And the fullness of pure joy,
At the foot of the Cross.

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A piece of the ‘Four Quartets’ T.S. Eliot

III

Here is a place of disaffection
Time before and time after
In a dim light: neither daylight
Investing form with lucid stillness
Turning shadow into transient beauty
Wtih slow rotation suggesting permanence
Nor darkness to purify the soul
Emptying the sensual with deprivation
Cleansing affection from the temporal.
Neither plentitude nor vacancy. Only a flicker
Over the strained time-ridden faces
Distracted from distraction by distraction
Filled with fancies and empty of meaning
Tumid apathy with no concentration
Men and bits of paper, whirled by the cold wind
That blows before and after time,
Wind in and out of unwholesome lungs
Time before and time after.
Eructation of unhealthy souls
Into the faded air, the torpid
Driven on the wind that sweeps the gloomy hills of London,
Hampstead and Clerkenwell, Campden and Putney,
Highgate, Primrose and Ludgate. Not here
Not here the darkness, in this twittering world.

Descend lower, descend only
Into the world of perpetual solitude,
World not world, but that which is not world,
Internal darkness, deprivation
And destitution of all property,
Dessication of the world of sense,
Evacuation of the world of fancy,
Inoperancy of the world of spirit;
This is the one way, and the other
Is the same, not in movement
But abstention from movememnt; while the world moves
In appetency, on its metalled ways
Of time past and time future.

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On into…

Purgative aridity,
Unknowing all things to a point of losing stable ground,
Flailing, faltering forward, step by step, into an abyss lacking,
Comprehension acutely nowhere,
Memory amiss misfiring, appetite quenched,
A Presence, absolute darkness,
Existence assails with cruelty and persistence,
Abandoning to indifference, ready and not,
Thoughts heavy, cloudiness, unable to penetrate on into,
On into prayer,
On into alienation,
On into smallness,
Diminutive and dim,
Agitated over-eagerness rejected through bitter sweetness,
Now ready, moment by moment,
Instilled knowledge loaded and experience locked down,
Remembrance wounded, weak, and repetitive,
Repeating over and over,
On into…
On into…
On into…
Stronger, more mature, well rested, less noisy, accurate and assured,
A blankness smothers, covers immense,
Crushing underneath all that was, all that is and all that is to come,
Quiet and still,
God remains stationary, the same, silently thriving, aware, loving intense,
Metamorphoses, consubstantial,
On into the overwhelming,
No longer pursuing intellectually,
Sufficing, surrendering to that which is not,
Seduced, contradictory, the Divine entwines,
No rules engaged, commandment obligation, obedient,
A game of casual happenstance, coincidence resounding, predicated not,
A friendly smile warms the heart, melodramatics ignored,
In the meantime, a brother to a brother, a brother to a sister,
The tugging lure of passions tempting,
The disabling emptiness of yearning inflicting interior pain,
Loneliness, isolation, temptation,
Others are happy,
Others are not,
Others are sad,
Others are not,
Disregarding appetites aplenty,
On into, absorbing, adoring
Content, happily sad, contrite, weeping at the feet loving upon the Cross,
Shaded by the mantle of a Mother held dear,
I am lost, He finds, together we search.

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