Monthly Archives: December 2014

Dec162014

Love

Perfect love is the source of perfect abandonment…The union produced by love is especially a union of will. Loves causes the lovers to have the same likes and dislikes…Hatred fills the heart with sentiments and affections…Hence we must conclude that love is the measure of union and conformity of wills, so that imperfect love means imperfect conformity; increased love, increased conformity, perfect love, perfect conformity…the purpose of love is heavenly union…St John: “He who abides in love abides in God, and God in him”. …divine love is to give the creature to God and God to the creature, to unite them intimately, the one with the other. Whenever this tendency to union is absent, there the love of friendship must be absent, too. –Abbot Vital Lehody “The Way that Leads to God”.

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Dec162014

The sound of heaven

blessed-virgin-mary-virgin-with-angels

Contemplation theme:the sound of heaven. Mary singing. I wait eagerly to hear the Blessed Mother celebrate in song. Accompanied by angels, saints, and heaven’s elect, I hold tightly to faith, hope, and charity in anticipation of hearing the Queen of Heaven resounding in praise for the wonder, mercy, and might of God the Father, her Ascended Son, and the peace and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Pray for us in song Holiest of Mothers.

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Dec152014

Head, Heart, Hand

Doing research for Unlikely Wanderer, ideas were presented paralleling my thoughts on head, heart, and hand. The Jewish tradition of adorning oneself with the Shema powerfully connects the head, heart, and hand with the greatest commandment of God, Deuteronomy 6:4-9. In my fiction piece on Bogdan, the Dacian youth, the Old Israelite utilizes the tefillin. I thoroughly enjoy when my Catholic faith connects with the Jewish faith.

You have a brain. It is in one world. Your heart is in another. And your hands often end up involved in something completely foreign to both of them. Three diverse machines.

So you put on tefillin. First thing in the day, you connect your head, your heart and your hand with these leather cables—all to work as one, with one intent. And then, when you go out to meet the world, all your actions find harmony in a single coordinated purpose…

Link to website: Tefillin

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Salve Regina

Good morning Holy Mother.  Bless my day with graces that allow me to be a light to all I encounter today.  Strengthen my mind so I can love your Holy Son and be of maximum service to Him.  St Joseph pray for me.

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Dec142014

A tumbling story

Jesters

An abbot from a Benedictine monastery near Bologna visited Troupe Tripudiante in order to witness the acrobatics of Beatrice. Word spread throughout the region of the strange camp of performers traveling with Man Tower. Wanderers, especially performers, actors, were viewed with suspicion, however times were changing and traveling men were becoming more common in the region of Lombard, the northern lands leading to Frankish and German territories. Men moving about were becoming associated with trade, the exchanging of goods. It was good for all for men to travel and interact.

After confessing her sins to the abbot, Beatrice spent timed conversing with the priest. Cassandra joined them, enjoying the sunshine and the absorption of conversation.

“Father, do you enjoy my tumbling?”

“Yes. I have a special place in my heart for such activity. Beatrice you are so graceful and skillful with the body God blessed you with.”

“You honor me. Yes. It is God I thank for my joy and abilities. I see that so clearly. What did you think of the children singing? I saw you listening.”

“Their voices are those of angels.”

“Yes it will be a grand show. You must return to the abbey, retrieving your monks. The more the merry. Bring all the consecrated men in order to bless and witness our show.”

“We will see my child.”

Cassandra joined the conversation. “Father there is more to your admiration. Please speak.”

“It was when I was a younger monk, long before I was an abbot, although even during those times I strayed toward the abbacy, being a leader amongst the consecrated. I sought the friendship of the abbot above all others. He was a man of power. Now, I see it was the errant behavior of a young man enamored with authority, an individual glorifying hierarchy onto itself. I wanted to lead not for God, rather for vainglory. I valued the abbot because he was an abbot, someone who surpassed his peers. During those early days in the monastery, I reported to the abbot the things I observed, events and behavior I noticed as I watched my brothers. Through nervousness, I became a judge. Why waste words? I know the truth. I was a self-appointed spy. I never felt I fit in with my brothers so I secretly turned on them, defensiveness causing me to take offense. Ignorantly, I tried to prove my piety by overseeing my brothers, wielding hidden authority. One brother, I determined, demanded severe immediate attention. He was dumb, hopeless with his horrendous Latin. The novice was a dunce, a disrespect as he previously tramp about the earth as an acrobat and actor. His behavior had been suspicious for some time. I did not like the dumb looking brother the first moment I set eyes upon him. My first impression denouncingly convinced he was an absolute lowering of standards. He was not participating in prayers properly, appearing gloomy and downtrodden, missing sessions. I had my eye severely upon him the whole time. The man was desperate and did not belong. It was obvious. Then suddenly to my chagrin, his demeanor changed. His participation in prayers and chanting did not improve, yet he was smiling, losing the dismal nature everyone associated with him. The hopeless man somehow gained hope. I was dumbfounded. I keenly noticed he was missing matins regularly. Mysteriously, none of my brothers or superiors made an issue of the fact. I determined the abbot must do something. Underhandedly, I conducted every effort to ensure proper action was taken. The abbot, whom I considered my best friend, decided the two of us would follow our wayward brother. We saw him enter a private storage area, a large room of no consequence, simply used for storage. The following day we investigated the room, discovering the deeds of our puzzling brother. Behind crates and items in storage, he created a secret open space with a forgotten statue of Our Lady overlooking matters. The abbot and I created our own space, a place for hiding. We would uncover matters completely. We occupied our spying spot that night. We hid ourselves well, waiting for the appearance of our mischievous brother. When he showed himself, we watched. Our stupid brother dropped to his knees in prayer, begging Our Holy Mother for forgiveness. His inability to master communal prayers disturbed him. His memory was miserable. His lessons were impossible to keep in his head. He admitted he would never learn Latin. He moved on to plead for understanding regarding his difficulty in learning, his poor reading skills, apologizing for his overall intellectual inferiority. I admit it was difficult to observe, especially in regard to the fact, that I was one of the harshest critics of the brother. My poor brother was falling apart at the seams. Addressing the Holiest of Mothers, my pitiful brother explained that the only thing he was good at was tumbling and acrobatics. He told the Virgin Mary that he would perform for her as he did in the carnivals for men. He dedicated his deeds and heart to her Immaculate Heart, the loveliest of women as he named her, expressing the desire she find joy in his efforts. He shed so many tears during this difficult to witness confessing. Then to our astonished amazement our brother began flipping about, turning summersaults in the air, walking upon his hands. His deeds from the traveling carnivals, he performed for the Mother of God. We knew not what to think, and then things advanced to the supernatural. The most Blessed Lady stepped down from being merely a statue. Angels appeared from the very air. Our Lady was a lady before us. The angels danced about with our brother, performing the tumbling and gymnastics along with our brother. The angels laughed, rolling about upon the ground in sheer delight as our brother threw himself about the room. The angels who were not tumbling with our brother were flying about conducting applause. The Blessed Lady, in awe, stood clapping, her mouth radiating with the most beautiful smile. She elegantly laughed. Our brother noticed nothing of the heavenly amusement he was creating. The abbot and I could only watch, spellbound, overwhelmed with humility. When our brother finally completed his blissful performance and departed, we sulked back to the abbot’s office, falling upon the ground begging for mercy. We both shed many tears of sorrow. We prayed throughout the night, until morning came, when the abbot had our acrobatic brother brought before him. We begged forgiveness from our brother. We told him of everything we observed. He marveled at the vision of the angels and Blessed Mother adoring his performance. We assured him they loved his efforts, and the abbot promised that from now on the brother would be granted every moment he desired to perform for the Holy Mother. I was fortunate to be allowed to watch our brother every now and then as he entertained for his heavenly audience. From the night forward, he was the one I desired to have as my best friend. Someone in such favor with Our Blessed Lady I wanted as close to me as I could establish. Never did I see the fantastic again, yet I knew they were enjoying. A Divine ambiance adorned the space. One morning, about seven years later, our tumbling brother was found dead in the space of his performances. There were no signs of death, and most mystifying, the smile upon his face expressed sheer joy. The abbot whispered to me that he was positive Our Holy Mother took our brother up to heaven so he could perform for all of the attending.”

“So my friends, this is the reason I am so found of the art of gymnastics. One of the children, visiting the abbey, described a young lady, in company of a troupe of traveling actors, who possessed the gymnastic skills of Brother Andrew. So grand are my memories of my brother that I had to witness the young woman myself. I will positively affirm that Beatrice, you do possess talent on par with my blessed brother.”

“Thank you father.”

“I should thank you. You have ignited exceptional memories.”

Cassandra spoke. “Father please come watch the children sing some more. They have practiced diligently for days. They are getting quite good. I have them positioned properly so their tones and pitches harmonize, creating a unified voice of beauty. They will perform for their families and neighbors during the upcoming show. We have performed only a few times since departing from Assisi. This will be our first series of performances. We are sinners who now find pleasure in teaching children, performing for people of good will, and even those of complex will. The crowds grow bigger. The attention our leader, Man Tower, attracts is substantial. I am nervous, yet confident we will prove worthy. You must come hear the children sing, and then I will describe some of our acts. You have not met Jacopone. He is amazingly gifted in all the arts of performance; skilled in the most simple and complicated practical tasks. The plays our elder writes, especially those of a Biblical nature, you will find enlightening. I hope that is the case for there is nothing heretical in his ideology. He is an intelligent layman of the church.”

“Young lady you say many things at one time. Please let us return to the children. One matter at a time. From there we will allow God to guide our steps.”

2 Samuel chapter 6

12 And it was told King David, “The Lord has blessed the household of O′bed-e′dom and all that belongs to him, because of the ark of God.” So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of O′bed-e′dom to the city of David with rejoicing; 13 and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. 14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the horn.

16 As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart. 17 And they brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent which David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord. 18 And when David had finished offering the burnt offerings and the peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts, 19 and distributed among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, to each a cake of bread, a portion of meat,[g] and a cake of raisins. Then all the people departed, each to his house.

20 And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” 21 And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father, and above all his house, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will make merry before the Lord. 22 I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your[h] eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.”

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Dec142014

Prophets

Isaiah chapter 6:6-10

Then flew one of the seraphim to me, having in his hand a burning coal which he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin forgiven.” And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And he said, “Go, and say to this people:
‘Hear and hear, but do not understand;
see and see, but do not perceive.’
Make the heart of this people fat,
and their ears heavy,
and shut their eyes;
lest they see with their eyes,
and hear with their ears,
and understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed.”

Within the grasping of intellectual inadequacy is the prophets to baffle and confuse properly in the mystery, and complexity of God. Burning coals cleansing, the Gospels, wheels and seraphim.

Ezekiel chapter 1

…the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.

As I looked, behold, a stormy wind came out of the north, and a great cloud, with brightness round about it, and fire flashing forth continually, and in the midst of the fire, as it were gleaming bronze. And from the midst of it came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance: they had the form of men, but each had four faces, and each of them had four wings. Their legs were straight, and the soles of their feet were like the sole of a calf’s foot; and they sparkled like burnished bronze. Under their wings on their four sides they had human hands. And the four had their faces and their wings thus: their wings touched one another; they went every one straight forward, without turning as they went. As for the likeness of their faces, each had the face of a man in front; the four had the face of a lion on the right side, the four had the face of an ox on the left side, and the four had the face of an eagle at the back. Such were their faces. And their wings were spread out above; each creature had two wings, each of which touched the wing of another, while two covered their bodies. And each went straight forward; wherever the spirit would go, they went, without turning as they went. In the midst of the living creatures there was something that looked like burning coals of fire, like torches moving to and fro among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning. And the living creatures darted to and fro, like a flash of lightning.

Now as I looked at the living creatures, I saw a wheel upon the earth beside the living creatures, one for each of the four of them. As for the appearance of the wheels and their construction: their appearance was like the gleaming of a chrysolite; and the four had the same likeness, their construction being as it were a wheel within a wheel. When they went, they went in any of their four directions without turning as they went. The four wheels had rims and they had spokes; and their rims were full of eyes round about. And when the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures rose from the earth, the wheels rose. Wherever the spirit would go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them; for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them; for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

Over the heads of the living creatures there was the likeness of a firmament, shining like crystal, spread out above their heads. And under the firmament their wings were stretched out straight, one toward another; and each creature had two wings covering its body. And when they went, I heard the sound of their wings like the sound of many waters, like the thunder of the Almighty, a sound of tumult like the sound of a host; when they stood still, they let down their wings. And there came a voice from above the firmament over their heads; when they stood still, they let down their wings.

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Dec142014

Weekend Musing

Munda cor meum, ac labia mea, omnipotens Deus, qui labia Isaiae prophetae calculo mundasti ignito: ita me tua grata miseratione dignare mundare, ut sanctum Evangelium tuum digne valeam nuntiare. Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

Cleanse my heart and my lips, O almighty God, Who didst cleanse with a burning coal the lips of the prophet Isaias; and vouchsafe in Thy loving kindness so to purify me that I may be enabled worthily to announce Thy holy Gospel. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

I humbly open with words from the Tridentine Rite mass, attempting to purify intent. During mass, the words cleanse toward the reading of the Gospel, the Good News, Divine word defining Christ.

in principio erat Verbum et Verbum erat apud Deum et Deus erat Verbum hoc erat in principio apud Deum omnia per ipsum facta sunt et sine ipso factum est nihil quod factum est in ipso vita erat et vita erat lux hominum 5 et lux in tenebris lucet et tenebrae eam non conprehenderunt

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.[a] 2 He was in the beginning with God; 3 all things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. 4 In him was life,[b] and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness,[c] and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1)

I want to explore thoughts, assisting me in establishing who I am through my blogging effort. I would like to introduce a line from Contemplative in the Mud “We might also find that one undertakes moral virtue in order to repose in contemplation…” We are virtuous, acting properly, aligned with Divine Will, so we can undertake superior contemplation. The pursuit of my passion; contemplation, adoration of God, is only conducted at supreme value when my active life is in order. It has been seriously out of order in the past. Cyclical in strengthening, contemplation then nurtures greater efficacy in action. Action arising from thought thus signifies contemplation purifies thought. From my head (thought) to my heart (conviction/will) to my hand or tongue (behavior/action) to consequences, thus the state of my soul. Head to heart to hand to virtue or sin, the aftermath shame or strengthening. Virtue builds upon virtue, as sin builds upon sin. As a contemplative, I make sure my house is in order to ensure the furthering of contemplative efforts.

Other events in my life have led me to focus upon social interaction, keeping my house in order while interacting with others, not depleting energy. I thought this might be petty, trivial, and seemingly over-analyzing. However, I am going to place trust in myself. If my efforts of tuning with God are proper then my thoughts will be constructively graced with greater means of accessing God. God is within, waiting for my revealing. He has been there the whole time desiring to love me. Let me allow Him to make Himself known. Who am I Lord? Who are You Lord?

My concern focuses upon a Christmas party I will be attending tonight. It will be a large gathering of faith based individuals. Socializing does not come natural to me. As an alcoholic, I isolated. I recognize as a part of my recovery from alcoholism, it is important for me to socialize, to properly conduct an active life. Left to my own devices, no matter how much I love God, the past has proven I will self-destruct. I relate this to St Benedict’s defining of four types of monks. Most effective, Cenobites belong to a monastery, living under a rule and superior. Thoroughly under obedience, the Cenobite serves God righteously. The second type of monk, a hermit, attains a singular lifestyle only after proving himself as a cenobite. A hermit is not ready to wage solitary war against the devil until he has proven himself under obedience. We cannot succesfully go off alone, until we have proven we can succesfully function within a group. As a contemplative in the world, it is important to understand the final two types of monks, dangerous states of spiritual pursuit. The third type, Sarabaites, quoting St Benedict: Still loyal to the world by their actions, they clearly lie to God by their tonsure. Two or three together, or even alone, without a shepherd, they pen themselves up in their own sheepfolds, not the Lord’s. Their law is what they like to do, whatever strikes their fancy. Anything they believe in and choose, they call holy; anything they dislike, they consider forbidden. The fourth type, gyrovagues, wander about continuously, prone to a life plagued by self-will run riot. The tendency to constantly reinvent themselves, not to be held accountable to past indiscretions, is a weakness of the wanderlust monk. As a layperson attempting to live the contemplative life it is impossible to live under the ideal conditions of the cenobite. I must be on guard against the perils of the remaining three types of monks.

Maintaining a healthy social life allows me to balance the active and contemplative life. Socializing is really not difficult for me once it is embraced. I find that people enjoy my company, and that I do have quality people skills. I possess a soft personality that tends to listen, paying attention to others, being honest, open, and willing, fully present. My past fear of people was truly unfounded, especially in regards to trusting in God. Fear dominated my life when truly there was nothing to fear. It reminds me of a story regarding the Little Flower. St Therese, as a little girl, was looking in her bedroom window when she observed two little demons wreaking havoc in her home. In attitude and behavior, the little demons were out of control, acting as evil and wild as they could be. St Therese realized the demons were truly weak. Their power was limited. They desired great evil, yet could accomplish very little. St Therese knocked on the window and the little demons fled in fright. Evil truly is weak. The clashing battle ground is our souls. There the influence of evil can take hold, attaining power it could never attain upon its own. I also think of Brother Juniper, a favorite of the early Franciscan friars. Brother Francis and others would warn evil spirits and demons that if they did not disperse they would send Brother Juniper after them. My heart smiles so much when I imagine the scenario. Brother Juniper was a foolish simpleton, good hearted and always in trouble. Giving to the extreme, woe followed him as he was known to give away even sacred objects and his own habit, reducing himself to no clothing. It is important to understand the demons fear of Brother Juniper. He was so simple, honest, and good hearted there was nothing for the demons to tempt. They could not offer false knowledge, or worldly goods, or lustful pleasures as Brother Juniper’s simple innocence would only want to proclaim the glory of God. He would respond to evil with simplicity, a lack of intelligence, and overwhelmingly authentic absolute love, trying to help evil see the errors of their ways. I can just hear the demons speaking at the threat of Brother Juniper being sent their way. “Oh no not the moron. I hate that guy.” “He makes me want to puke. What a simpleton and fool he is. He makes me sick. Let’s get out of here before that idiot shows up. What a waste of time he is.” Then Brother Juniper running after the demons, hollering wait brothers I want to talk to you about the glory of God, and the love of Our Savior Jesus Christ, and the dispenser of grace His Holy Mother. There is so much I want to talk to you about. The demons increasing in haste at the sight and sound of Brother Juniper racing after them, clothed only in an undergarment as once again he gave away his habit to some desperate soul seeking warmth

Socializing, I want to go back to the idea of St Francis placing himself under obedience to everyone he encountered. There is an extreme humility there that I find enlightening. At this party tonight, my goal is to enjoy myself, while providing comfort and pleasant memories for others. I want to be of service to my brothers and sisters by assisting in making their Advent season a warm memorable time. Being a faith based group, there will be the tendency to discuss spiritual matters. I find this to be a delicate situation. It never ceases to amaze me the fragile nature of so many who concentrate upon the spiritual life. Previous in this blog, I touched on the character defect of over-sensitivity. So many who make faith their focus fall short in interacting with the world. I remember a dramatic statement a respected spiritual director, Myron, made to me once in front of the Eucharist: “take a look at the nut jobs around you. The spiritual life is a dangerous and difficult game”. The church we were in was downtown Cleveland, one tending to draw a unique crowd, yet I chuckled at his words, finding meaning in them. In the crowd tonight, I find it essential to remain low key, inquiring about others, seeking to understand rather than be understood. To truly trust in God is to understand that God does not need me to impress everyone with my knowledge of Him. I may need this, but God does not. It is mortifying to hear conversations about scripture, and other aspects of the spiritual life and make no comment, yet also trusting authentic discernment to know when a word or two about God can prove meaningful. I must be sure that I am not moving away from God when I am talking about God. Of course St Francis’ words about preaching the Gospel daily, and if really necessary that includes using words. The previously mentioned Myron use to speak about being a silent living tabernacle amongst others. Stay quiet and hidden, allow God to determine those who need to see the work you have been conducting. If your spiritual efforts are thorough, producing good fruit within yourself, God will send individuals to share with. Be patient, trust, allow God to handle matters. In regards to this blog, I tell no one about my efforts. No one I know, except my dear friend Ann Marie—the originator of the idea to start the blog, knows about my effort. The young accomplished violin player Victoria I have intentions of informing. Young, she displays a remarkable proficiency in prayer, and her musical skills are amazingly meditative. New social worlds are opening to me as a blessed soul, also consecrated to Our Holy Mother, an owner of enchanting Catholic bookstore has taken interest in me, urging me to lead Rosaries in her chapel, insisting I attend specific Church functions. Her attention and interest humbles and delights. Even this wonderful woman will not know of my blogging efforts. God will determine who observes this blog. Maybe none will. So be it. God provides.

Keep in mind, that remaining hidden is not done outwittingly clever. I am not trying to outsmart everyone by staying three steps ahead, too fast to take that test. The preservation of energy is the motivation. I am focusing upon my life as a contemplative, channeling all action into nurturing my contemplative life. Intense edification for myself comes through mass, sitting before the Eucharist, my prayer life, and more and more indirectly reading. I use to think reading, acquiring knowledge, was the means to understanding God. Lately, it has been reduced in value, maintaining importance yet losing dominance.

A NEW DAY

The previous writing was conducted yesterday during the afternoon. I have been to the Christmas party. It was a wonderful, meaningful event, filled with holiday cheer, memorable moments. A startling moment occurred during the attendees singing of Christmas Carols. An attractive woman asked to sing solo, “Oh Holy Night”. A stunning voice, the prideful single woman, making herself seemingly available throughout the night, landed empty upon my plate. Beauty is not just in expertise and talent. Remarkably, a teenage girl, mentally impaired, a spectacle throughout the evening, placed herself at the center of the gathering, demanding to sing the same song by herself. It was embarrassing to watch the girl, twitching, rocking herself back and forth, determinedly asking to sing by herself. She demanded the man and woman commandeering the event to introduce her. The girl’s father spoke up, insisting she be introduced. By the glory of God, the mentally challenged girl rang out with an equally splendid rendition of ‘Oh Holy Night’. It was profound beauty. The silence and rapt attention was holy. Absolutely amazing, and even more pleasing to the heart was when the thunderous applause ended, the girl requested another round of applause for herself. Laughing, everyone obliged. I was invited to attend football watching party follow-up today. No. The leader is a higher-powered retired attorney, an extremely intelligent articulate man, a type of Socrates in his own right, gathering intellectual crowds, igniting debate and deep conversations. A Protestant convert to Catholicism, he is known for his Bible studies, ecumenical, populated by well-bred, educated, experienced Bible enthusiast. The studies leave me dry. Meaning and fellowship derived, outweighed by a sense of something being wrong. Too much pride, identity, and effort for my liking. I cannot imagine pursuing faith based upon reason, intellect, and debate. Sola Scriptura, for me, is an absolute negation of meaning. There is an intense emphasis on being intelligent, and many of the attendees of these Bible studies are extremely intelligent, surpassing my God given abilities. I live by the axiom that no matter how brilliantly conducted ways not embracing the fullness of the Church are engaged they are still lacking. A genius intellect cannot make errant ways correct. Regarding the social environment of the Christmas party, an incident demonstrates the mindset. One young man spoke with me. I stared marveling at his resemblance to another young man who socializes within this crowd. He informed me they were brothers. He remarked: “I am the dumb brother. My brother is the smart one.” I followed up with comments about that being an unhealthy way of looking at things. Why the self-deprecating and self-conscious attitude? Being smart is not a barometer of human worth. As much as I enjoyed the evening, too much socializing within that crowd nurtures self-seeking, self-consciousness, and pride. I find the consequences of interacting with this brainy crowd detrimental to my contemplative efforts. They drain my energy. To watch football with members of that crowd the following day, finishing the smorgasbord of quality food and desserts, would include conversation focused upon brilliance, and identity, rather than spiritual growth.

Moving my thoughts forward, this morning I attended another Latin mass. The experience the reason for my opening. It is a return after moving to the Cleveland area, my first five months strictly Novus Ordo. I find the Latin mass profound on many levels. Liturgically, the words possess a more profound punch. The congregation tends to provide a devout focused ambiance, lots of Catholic homeschoolers, children everywhere, women loyal to the words of St Paul in 1 Corinthians 11 sporting veils, men also paying respect, trending to wear hats which they remove in order to address God with respect. The crowd puts sincere effort into their worship. I was humbled by the presence of two young men in front of me expert in their Latin. I find the experience invigorating, assisting me in opening my brokenness to the sacrifice of the mass, a perfect place for hiding and advancing contemplative efforts. The water being added to the wine, I seek to honestly, openly, and willingly to offer myself through the Church to the Lord, offering unification with myself through the receiving of the Eucharist, splendidly done within the tradition of a kneeling rail. The beauty, mystery, tradition of the mass pays homage to a non-discursive approach to faith. I am convinced that identifying with a lack of intelligence, brokenness, and weakness are true attributes when discovering who I truly am in the eyes of God. The means are there for greater intellectual pursuit in the mastering of Latin, if not thorough understanding at least accomplished pronunciation. To learn and intimately interact in the Latin mass takes humility, work, and passion. As with all spiritual progress, an increasing in understanding, always introduces evil; temptation appears as pride emerges. The tendency to embrace an elitist attitude is too easy to assume when becoming a proponent of the Latin mass. Another place of hiding today was the wonderful Rosary before the Eucharist and Benediction with captivatingly voiced Poor Clares, a wonderful reposing always existing there.

I thought I had more to say. I will post some Old Testament scripture and a fictional quip.

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