The idea of being a devoted personality type, acknowledging the positive aspects of charity and loyalty, along with the negative tendency toward dependency, marriage (the essence) and proper Catholic socializing is dominating my mind, being formed in proper dimension’s. Alcoholism and existential passivity aiming at being a Superman, while becoming an underground man–now defeated within a lifelong dedication to Catholicism. I have been reborn at fifty. My kneejerk passion is I want to be married. Concretely, the union of a man and woman comes into focus, the sacrament of marriage I muse upon longingly. I read through the Catechism, exploring the profoundness, continual focus upon marriage within Catholicism. Sacred Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding-feast of the Lamb. Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its “mystery,” its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal “in the Lord” in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church.

My thoughts go to an incident with Father David Mary. We spent a summer week with seminarians in Minnesota strengthening the faith through communal interacting. Father instructing the young men entering their sophomore year of undergraduate study on the life of a priest, while the friars spent a week of instruction with an educating priest supplying a quick weeklong overview of Catholic moral theology. The closing Sunday mass celebration father gave a remarkable homily, expressing his rousing passion for being a priest. Something he said marked me deeply, the idea applicable for all Catholics. He spoke extensively and practically regarding the establishing of a sound prayer life for the young men, stressing they were young, enjoying leisure time, able to indulge and discern their personal proclivities in prayer. A daily holy hour, the Rosary, meditation, a litany of prayers, quiet time with the Lord, lectio divina, of course father followed the teachings of Bishop Fulton Sheen in firmly promoting Eucharistic adoration as the strongest means of establishing a personal relationship with the Lord. If the young men did not form a stout daily prayer life early in their priestly formation they would never be able to once entering the priesthood. The demands, time constraints, and struggles were too difficult. During the overwhelming responsibility of being a priest, they must persevere in prayer, setting aside every a day an hour of alone time with God. Not writing, reading (lectio divina ok), nor reasoning, performing the Liturgy of the Hours–none of these edifying endeavors qualified. Rather personal prayer was listening, pleading, imploring, sitting still and being quiet. The personal prayer hour would become their solace, source of strength, and only effective way of fulfilling their role as a Catholic priest. Eventually as priest, the young men would find it would be the highlight of their day, a favorite time anticipated eagerly. The young seminarians must establish an effective prayer life now. They must ignite a personal relationship with the Trinity through their personal prayer life right now.

In regards to marriage and proper Catholic socializing as one striving for a penetrating contemplative life, father’s guidance is essential. If I do not exercise a strong prayer life, if I am not dedicating that daily hour to the Lord my efforts are futile, an abomination of self-will. The increasing of the two greatest commandments, the blossoming of LOVE occurs within our personal relationship with Christ, our prayer life. Catechism on the sacrament of matrimony: God who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator’s eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'” In order to participate in such loving Catholic relationship–the quote expanding to parental responsibilities, we must possess the means to nurture love and that is through our personal prayer life.

I am confident this is why Dr Nichta became agitated regarding Catholic socializing based upon spiritually directing one another. Relationships based upon telling each other how to live and practice the faith are really absurd, a perversion of faith. Healthy Catholic interacting is not based upon instructing one another. Accumulating knowledge, putting time in through daily mass, establishing a reputation amongst followers, are only busy work without the personal relationship with God based upon quietness, humility, and surrender. Without a prayer life we ultimately have nothing to offer others–profound insight and knowledge negated, eventually guiding to self-inflicted destruction. Without a prayer life we have no means to profoundly increase the presence of love. Without a prayer life we have no means of discerning God’s will. We cannot exercise or receive proper spiritual guidance without a prospering prayer life. In a marriage or a Catholic relationship lacking both (all) individuals reinforcing their individual faith through a vigorous prayer life, it would lead to power struggles, manipulation, and ultimately frustration, and possibly even warfare. The Catechism covers extensively that the sacrament of marriage does not absolve original sin, the sinning nature of man and woman exist within marriage. UnGodly ways will take command of a marriage. Efforts must be put into place to ensure the sanctity of the marriage.

In life as a single, virginity, chastity tantamount, the Catechism clearly declares a life in imitation of Christ. Christ is the center of all Christian life. The bond with him takes precedence over all other bonds, familial or social. From the very beginning of the Church there have been men and women who have renounced the great good of marriage to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, to be intent on the things of the Lord, to seek to please him, and to go out to meet the Bridegroom who is coming….Virginity for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away…..Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants them the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will. Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other: 

Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good

Being single is truly the more difficult way, the one possessing the possibility of greater eternal rewards, yet its difficulty must be stressed over the glory. I put forth that very few people remaining single, not accepting Church sanctioned celibacy, obedience, and edification through the life of a proper religious, will not be able to live a vibrant spiritual life. A life alone, answering to no one, unaccountable, able to move about not answering for words, thoughts, and conduct is a dangerous life. Commitment and obedience to no one begs forth perversion, spiritual sickness allowed to fester and move about when ever challenged or proper healing presented. As in marriage, celibacy does not absolve a sinning nature. I admire the closing Catechism quote by St John Chrysostom. Marriage and virginity complement one another, working within the body of Christ together. A prospering Catholic single is able to move about, socializing with married couples, enjoying children, being humbled, not insulted, by the fact good families will tend to see the single person as incomplete. Good people convinced the single life is empty, or there is something wrong with the single person, a temper issue, sexual confusion, or selfishness ruling the single person’s life. A spiritually prospering single will embrace the scrutiny, able to stay simple and proud, secure in faith, hope, and charity, presenting a deeper lessen about life: Virginity for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away….When the body assist in all parts becoming stronger, the body becomes greater. Singles and married Catholics must strengthen one another, respecting, admiring and learning from each other. They must humbly engage one another.  What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The strengthening of the body of the Church is through balance, all parts recognizing the good within one another. If I am only good based upon my declaring of other things evil, not perceiving God’s will within all things, I am failing as a Catholic. And not so much in finding other things evil, yet not properly respecting or honoring all parts of the Church. This is where an extreme difficulty of being single, and truly following in the way of Christ presents itself, demands the embracing of humility, demands the strengthening of a proper prayer life. I cannot traverse a more difficult spiritual path without the essential strengthening of a rich prayer life.

This is becoming longer than intended. I am simply going to quit, more thoughts ruminating, yet I close. Life calls and I answer.

Final thought, contemplate that last sentence of St John Chrysostom: The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.  A bit of a stretch, yet I propose: the wonder and marvel of mystery usurping speculation (reason), presumption and even remarkable knowledge exist within the words.  The wisest can instruct and guide on goodness to the highest degree and still it is nothing compared to the personal insight the Holy Spirit provides those able to immerse themselves within mysteries through a strong prayer life, or even better truth unrecognized, truth unknown stymies that which is known.

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