I am under the impression that you are becoming simpler.  You were very complicated, too intellectual, too much engrossed in trying to assimilate what you had read about the spiritual life.  You still analyze yourself too much, watch yourself too much.  Look away from yourself, and especially from your faults and weaknesses.  When you turn your eyes inward, no longer see yourself, but see Christ present in you.

Undoubtedly something happen between you and the Lord—what, you don’t know, but He does and that is all that is necessary.  Suddenly—and this is immense grace—Christ stood there before you, alive, as He really is.  Not the Christ of theology this time, the Christ of doctrine, but Christ the living person who gave His life for you and who wants you to give Him your life.  Christ has taken you terribly serious.  It is no longer a rather abstract Christ with who you are dealing; you have encountered Christ, a living person.  This has tremendous implications and you know that it can take you a long way.  Something in you is afraid…afraid of Christ, afraid also of the one through whom Christ may speak, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps years from now.  –Albert Peyriguere ‘Voice From the Desert’ (Book attained from Assumption Abbey library)

Disciple of Charles de Foucauld