Driving home from Temperance, Michigan, the family gathering for the one year anniversary of the death of my father, I listened to St Theresa of Lisieux’s autobiography, ‘The Story of a Soul’.  These words sounded audibly distinct.

MY DARLING SISTER,—I know quite well all you are suffering. I know your anguish, and I share it. Oh! If I could but impart to you the peace which Jesus has put into my soul amid my most bitter tears. Be comforted—all passes away. Our life of yesterday is spent; death too will come and go, and then we shall rejoice in life, true life, for countless ages, for evermore. Meanwhile let us make of our heart a garden of delights where Our sweet Saviour may come and take His rest. Let us plant only lililies there, and sing with St John of the Cross: “There I remained in deep oblivion, My head reposing upon Him I love, Lost to myself and all! I cast my cares away And let them, heedless, mid the lilies lie.”

I wanted to post a couple of photos from the family gathering.  It was a blessed time, many attending, a love for my father shared.  The photo, (focus again missed–I really need to see an optometrist, although maybe a shaky hand caused the blurriness as my shutter speed was slow–the moved illuminated LEDs lead me in this direction).  The photo I wanted to post to display the pride Nicole possesses being pregnant.  She radiates joy, to be around her is a blessing.  Her and my nephew are practicing Catholicism soundly and simply as a young married couple.  Last year Nicole, desiring above all things to be a mother, was told she would never have children.  While staying with Ann, I mailed both husband and wife Rosaries, instructing them to take their passion to be parents to Our Holy Mother. I stressed the importance of imploring Mary to pray for them.  Nicole is now ecstatic to be an expectant mother.  Saying all that I would like to point out a splendid attribute the spiritual counselor displayed when telling the story I posted yesterday regarding the dying mother and her artist son Kevin.  The counselor said make of it what you will.  I make no claims to decipher the will and ways of God.  He stressed that working with the dying strengthened his faith and trust in God, comprehending on deeper levels the peace and mercy of God.  The counselor felt no need to define grace, to explain God, nor grace bestowed.  There was no fascination with the supernatural and sensational.  Nicole is pregnant, and I sent her and Matt some Rosaries.  All glory goes to God.

I spoke with Shirley after mass at St Paul Shrine today.  She is a brilliant woman, another from the Philippians, sound in the spiritual life; maturely humble and quietly experienced, well-grounded in prayer, centered within peace while expanding faith, hope, and charity.  I discussed my perceived vocation to be of service to the Hospice of Western Reserve, working with the dying looming as a calling.  She spoke of a similar call, exercising her efforts while employed as a critical care and vital organ transplant nurse.  Underneath everything, undramatically, maturely, a yearning for Ann hovered.  Her medical background appearing beneficial.  I have reached a new mindset, disposition, a position provided by the Holy Spirit, I will calmly distance myself; patient, humble, waiting for word from her.  There is peace, yet still hope, a lingering and longing that we belong together.  Her assistance, her spiritual maturity and medical acumen would be of such benefit to me.  There are so many thoughts, so much authenticity and sincerity, an overwhelming desire to give, to share and exchange.–strength coming together with strength, the consequence a might holy force.  There is nothing I can do.  God is lifting me.  I move forward, knowing the love overpowering my heart is now being given a worldly outlet, transforming on into the spiritual through service to my brothers and sisters. Understanding the expanded man I would be with Ann at my side, there is even a clearer understanding there is truly nothing I can do to effect matters.  Thy Will be done.

Nicole

My brother John and his daughter Vanessa.