Last name a figure of imagination,
A foreign man in an old hat and wool overcoat,
A gentleman from days gone past,
A black and white photograph reminds,
An appearance resemblance,
Loneliness apart of being set apart,
Something about you always made me want to cry,
I liked the feeling, growing warm every time,
That oversized four-door lumbered down our drive,
A De Soto, foreign to time in every regard,
Manuel, European pronunciation dignified,
Man well,
Distinguished, intelligent beyond words,
Things were said about you,
Behind closed doors,
Behind your back,
I never understood my mother’s wrath,
A poet, a rebel, a dreamer, an irresponsible crazy man, a drinker,
Our Holy Mother, I recall you loved,
A statue held in a way I never saw others adore,
You knew how to love,
A presence and knowing within every breath,
A reticent silence held tight in embrace,
You knew something others did not,
And therefore said nothing,
You sat and spoke with adults yet were always alone,
Others could not reach you,
You played different games,
Authentic, genuine, sincere,
Porch sitting, you spent time with me alone,
Did you sense my captivation?
Did you comprehend how enamored I was?
Were we brothers of a kind?
I never understood being nothing special as a child,
Yet you would find me worth knowing,
Sitting upon the steps saying nothing,
Your arm around my shoulder,
A lack of words penetrated deeply,
Soul stirring, inviting,
I cannot even recall what we spoke about,
Children’s songs chiming, sounding a call for treats,
Buying ice cream from an ice cream truck,
Did you know I possessed a secret fascination?
Thoughts running in my head when we sat alone,
I would wonder, imagine, clearly focusing upon fantasy,
Your story?
Your pain and suffering?
Your loves and joys?
I knew you were a Spanish Armada sailor,
Jumping from a war ship put out to sea,
Swimming to the shore of a new land,
An exile in New York City,
Arrested, seeking asylum,
What an adventure,
An artistic rebel, a spiritual man of rejection,
An operatic soprano swimming,
What were you thinking as you swam away?
What made you so brave?
A grand eternal escaping,
Where was your family?
Where was your poetry?
Unspoken words remained,
Dancing upon the mind of a boy wandering afar,
I wanted to know you,
My mother did not like you,
My father invited,
Why did she oppose a fellow countryman?
Why did she raise her voice at the sound of your name?
Then one day, growing older,
I realized you were gone, visits ceasing,
Imploring, I mentioned your name,
Revealing, I missed your De Soto,
Angrily responding, my mother told me to forget you,
Demanding clarity: you were crazy,
You were no good,
Goodness was all I sensed within you,
A longing, a yearning, an opening,
Something was wrong,
Something was beating upon the other side,
The light from the sun reflects upon the moon,
Years passing the sound of your name,
Your death, a funeral, my father speaking,
I knew tears, crying wanting to see you,
Needing to be alone,
I worried no one would come to your burial,
I knew you were alone,
A life apart, death imparts realities,
A first turning, seeking my Holy Mother,
Praying, Mary please, Mary please, Mary please,
Be with Manuel, he is alone,
I felt helpless, needing to do something,
Childhood dying, Mary please,
He loved you like no other I know,
Misunderstood, he is a poet, a man weary from life,
Help a dreamer wake to eternal life,
Mary please know his heart,
Be with him in death.