Monthly Archives: October 2015

Oct122015

Starvation for the sake of one mouthful

The other blind eye of whom we have spoken, who can hinder the soul in this kind of recollection, is the devil, who, being himself blind, desires the soul to be blind also. When the soul is in these lofty and solitary places wherein are infused the delicate unctions of the Holy Spirit (the devil has great grief and envy, for he sees the soul flying beyond him, and can in no wise lay hold on it, though he sees that it is gaining riches), the devil tries to cover this detachment and withdrawal, as it were, with cataracts of knowledge and mists of sensible sweetness, which are sometimes good, so that he may entice the soul more surely, and thus cause it to have commerce once more with sense, and to look at these things and embrace them, so that it may continue its journey to God in reliance upon this good knowledge and these delights. And herein he distracts it and very easily withdraws it from that solitude and recollection…the Holy Spirit is working these great things secretly….The soul, being of itself inclined to sensible enjoyment…is very easily led to cling to such kinds of knowledge and such delights, and withdraws itself from the solitude wherein God works. The soul reasons, previously it was doing nothing (stillness and quiet—adoration), this other state (the devil’s liking, supplied with sweet consolations) seems better, for now it is doing something (talking, instructing, educating, receiving attention as a knowledgeable knower of God, an elevated one amongst other religious advocates, one with a recognized righteous cause, a proponent, an esteemed identity). It is a great pity that the soul cannot realize how, for the sake of one mouthful, it is presenting itself from feeding holy upon God Himself…

In this way, with hardly any trouble, the devil works the greatest injuries, causing the soul to lose great riches, and dragging it forth like a fish, with the tiniest bait, from the depths of the pure waters of the spirit, where it had no support or foothold but was engulfed and immersed in God. And hereupon he drags it to the bank, giving it help and support, and showing it something whereon it may lean, so that it may walk up on its own feet with great labour instead of floating in the waters of Siloe, that go with silence, bathed in the unctions of God. –St John of the Cross ‘Living Flame of Love’

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from his birth. And his disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be made manifest in him. We must work the works of Him who sent Me, while it is day; night comes, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” As He said this, he spat on the ground and made clay of the spittle and anointed the man’s eyes with the clay, saying to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Silo’am” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing. The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar, said, “Is not this the man who used to sit and beg?” Some said, “It is he”; others said, “No, but he is like him.” He said, “I am the man.” They said to him, “Then how were your eyes opened?” He answered, “The man called Jesus made clay and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to Silo’am and wash’; so I went and washed and received my sight.” They said to him, “Where is He?” He said, “I do not know.” –Gospel of Luke chapter 9

St John of the Cross. Euclid, Ohio.

St John of the Cross. Euclid, Ohio.

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Oct112015

Mass reflection

Post mass, before the Eucharist, listening to the Poor Clares conduct midday prayers, I reflect upon the realization all I have to offer is truly very little. My previous creative writing efforts appear futile, arising from fear, brokenness, and insecurity. A desperate man trying too hard, all that was there threatened sanctity, allowing perversity, blocking a true calling. Now a call is heard, God whispers through my experciences, memory, and totality, within my imperfections and attempts, he asks very little from one who has little to offer. Become a friend, follow His example. Be an authentic human being to others being human as they approach death. Bring them to St Paul Shrine. Celebrate mass with them. Share the Rosary with them. Present them to the Poor Clares, allow them to meet Father Roger and Father Sam. Let them converse with Sister Regina and Sister Clare Marie. Such a little thing God ask of me, something easy to accomplish, natural, without effort, lovingly endeavored upon, a satisfaction of my deepest desires. Something so simple, yet so sublimly divine. God is good, all knowing in majesty.

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Oct112015

Accord or discord in the moment

The most difficult purifications for man are perhaps the purifications of the memory and imagination.  These dislodge him from the past and the future where he always has a tendency to take refuge as an escape from the sorrows of the present hour, and as a way of bursting out of his limits even while remaining still human.  Thus he seeks to expand his spiritual domain and to satisfy, at least by way of extension, his thirst for the infinite.  ‘Fire of Contemplation’

Father Thomas Philippe in his books ‘Fire of Contemplation’ and ‘The Contemplative Life’ expands and elevates.  I want to quickly touch on several thoughts this morning during reading.  The above quote is remarkably perceptive when applied to contemplatives with a creative and romantic nature.  The artist is one who tends to rend himself away from the moment, sentimentally and passionately divested in the past or immense possibilities fantasized within the future.  The current moment–living constantly before the gaze of God: simple, still and quiet—is unknown, while an intense bursting forth occurs.  The artist lives a life based upon the ideal that a creative effort reigns supreme over life itself.  An expression means more than the expresser; the artist envisions himself an eternal creator.  Moments are bombastic explosions of manifestation and experience.  Existentially struggling with the world, emotion, vices, and addictions of pride; the modern artist gravitates toward the dramatic and overwhelming.  The divinity within is granted absurd, often vile, yet magnificent glimpses of a supernatural reality which allows the surpassing of daily life, reality extinguished through demented usurping, all while drawing the artist away from the Godliness of the moment, entrenching him dependently about his past and what might come.  I am convinced it is why so many artist fall victim to substance abuse.  Spiritually trending, intensely attracted to the Divine, they force themselves ridiculously upon God. Virtue, behavior, and accountability mean nothing.  The deepest moments the modern artist accomplishes expresses a brutal honesty, a stripping of pride and ego, exposing the decrepit nature of themselves, establishing a self-knowledge of extreme human lacking.  However that self-knowledge is two-fold in Satanic nature.  First that self-knowledge can go no deeper, falling short of truth.  It is unable to reveal the truth of Christ.  His death and resurrection being a salvific act of love and mercy.  We are not just sinners.  We are true children of God, loved and forgiven.  The second existing wickedness is the fact that within the denouncing of one’s self through a powerful artistic expression, the creation itself, the artwork, addicts and becomes the focus of the artist’s attention.  The artist becomes addicted to his own work, pride rears its ugly head, demanding the artist observe himself as someone special, gifted beyond the normal realm, an individual of unique calling able to live beyond the conceptions of his brother and sisters.  No matter how well intended, the delusion draws the artist away from virtue.  The self-perceived genius, or artist of merit, accepts nothing exist greater than his own world vision.  The delusion, the forceful denying of truth, creates over-sensitivity, defensiveness, and self-absorption of various deranging kinds.  Few artist will possess the ability to live stable, emotionally mature lives, lives that are a source of faith, hope, and charity for those intimate in their lives.  Chaos and destruction, possibly suicide, result as consequence.

Continuing on with Father Thomas Philippe.

The great problem of spiritual persons, their constant and sometimes anguishing concern, is to keep their interior life intact, maintain its integrity and its unity in the midst of the most varied activities which will always continue in human life…..we shall then see the universality of action which must always enter into our lives as wayfarers….  It is not talents of mind nor even magnificent virtues that are the most necessary, but rather humility, obedience, mildness, patience, and all the Gospel virtues that the poor and the little ones practice (anawim) more easily then do the great and the rich of this world.  These virtues, by reason of the littleness and poverty of their objects are within reach of all…The interior life, being entirely the work of the Holy Spirit, can embrace the whole of reality….In the present moment, so poor and limited on its earthly side, but so rich with eternity on the side of Heaven, he (the contemplative) can join with all parts of time and all dimensions of space. 

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Oct102015

Build the bridges high

Yesterday, the idea tantalized throughout that I am living a life I do not want to.  My will glorifies in a retreat to the monastic life in North Dakota.  It would be a splendor.  I am positive God would bless the endeavor.  A full concentration upon the expansion of faith, hope, and charity within the mature confines of Assumption Abbey would produce good contemplative fruit, a disposition seeking the source and summit of Catholicism through daily life centered upon the Eucharist.  The comfort of wide open spaces geographically assuaging; dominant sky and expansive rolling tundra offering an ambiance of grandeur.  The purposeful community provides stellar developed religious fellowship.  There is not the slightest questioning of authenticity.  I would pack my bags tomorrow if it were of my doing.  I have become convinced that certain chosen contemplatives must desire in their heart and mind the monastic life.  The consecrated life under total obedience to the Church, vows and permanency rigidly entrenched, must be held as a fantasy presenting ultimate freedom; a possibility of sublime potentiality.  Thoughts of the cloistered monastic life have always existed within the mind of the contemplative.  The realization that a full attentiveness to faith, hope, and charity, isolated from the world, protected by the Church, gratifies their deepest needs—strengthens and invigorates their every breath.  It is a rhythm, a heartbeat, within the madness of the world.

Sad eyes, sad eyes, where you going with that confidence?  I am going to where the call divides…Still waters laying over, still waters laying over….wild eyes in the wilderness where you going with the devil in hand?  Going to build the bridges high for work and money…building bridges high…the river far away…going to where the rain falls to find my brother, to find my brother. 

Concretely establishing the consecrated life as a healthy lovely longing, I open myself to the voice of God, imaginary perfection no longer entertains.  The devil does not deceive through good intention and imagination.  My ways become closer to the ways of God.  Within this doing, I clearly recognize the solidity to a presence; deeper thoughts and behavior emerging, when I embrace working with the Hospice of Western Reserve.  Now is a time of further waiting, patience.  My paperwork is being processed, demanding further days passing.  I bite upon the chomp, hungry to begin, aching to offer myself in servitude.  Life demands I wait longer.  I see the time as critical (maybe all time is critical).  It is a time to further establish virtue, to prove my genuineness; the conducting of proper thought and behavior, attending to daily mass, prayer, and adoration, while also giving myself to my new employer.  The effort loses selfishness, becoming something done for brother and sister, a calling allowing devotedness to blossom within acts of love and giving, fellowship and sharing nurturing amidst the structure and organization of the world, philanthropic while remaining dependent, lowly as I answer to hierarchy and authority, troubled by the demands of the world, struggles and exhaustion from work and worries, unsatisfied demands and loneliness all placed lovingly upon the burdens by the most loving of Creators.

Carried away by the gentle wind of the Spirit of God, the soul breaks through the limits of knowledge (i.e. speculative knowledge) to let love have full play.  Freed from every hindrance, charity penetrates more deeply than intellect.  Charity has confidence in the Spirit of Love, trusts in Love’s initiatives, is carried along into the deep mysteries clouded in the darkness of faith.  Love no longer stops short at the concepts or propositions by which the Divine is revealed to us, but rather goes deep into its mysterious and hidden reality.  –Father Thomas Philippe ‘The Fire of Contemplation’.

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Oct092015

Many words random

It is a great joy to me to learn from your letter that you are sailing over calm waters.  Calm waters can also be very deep, and under the surface the swells are moving and they carry the soul along without agitation, without the jolts, the ups and downs, the worries which bring exhaustion and no progress…..

I want to keep intact your predilection for going to Christ as the Savior.  Do not enjoy Christ as if He were solely your own.  He will be yours as you let Him radiate through you…Oh!  how much of a savior was the Christ of the hidden life at Nazareth, and is not the Christ of the Eucharist the Christ of the hidden life now? 

Let Him relive His redemptive work in you through the mysteries of the liturgy.  Open wide your heart to His yearning for souls.  Be the hearth from which He radiates.  Let your whole spiritual life center upon the Eucharist….

I live the kind of life that I did not want.  But wasn’t Christ of Nazareth in the world?  He lived His hidden life and the turmoil of His work, His comings and goings, the wearying and meaningless gossip of a small village, His door always open…

Oh! how good it is that we should not choose our manner of serving the Lord, but that he should choose!  —Father Albert Peyriguere

And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.  And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee, and a report concerning him went out through all the surrounding country.  And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified by all.  And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up; and he went to the synagogue, as his custom was, on the sabbath day. And he stood up to read; and there was given to him the book of the prophet Isaiah. He opened the book and found the place where it was written, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” And he closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant, and sat down; and the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him.  And he began to say to them, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” And all spoke well of him, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth; and they said, “Is not this Joseph’s son?”  And he said to them, “Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Physician, heal yourself; what we have heard you did at Caper’na-um, do here also in your own country.'” And he said, “Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country.  But in truth, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Eli’jah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when there came a great famine over all the land; and Eli’jah was sent to none of them but only to Zar’ephath, in the land of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow.  And there were many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Eli’sha; and none of them was cleansed, but only Na’aman the Syrian.”  When they heard this, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath.  And they rose up and put him out of the city, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw him down headlong.  But passing through the midst of them he went away.  Luke chapter 4

And after a while the brook dried up, because there was no rain in the land.  Then the word of the LORD came to him, “Arise, go to Zar’ephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to feed you.”  So he arose and went to Zar’ephath; and when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks; and he called to her and said, “Bring me a little water in a vessel, that I may drink.”  And as she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, “Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.”  And she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar, and a little oil in a cruse; and now, I am gathering a couple of sticks, that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.”  And Eli’jah said to her, “Fear not; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make for yourself and your son.  For thus says the LORD the God of Israel, ‘The jar of meal shall not be spent, and the cruse of oil shall not fail, until the day that the LORD sends rain upon the earth.'”  And she went and did as Eli’jah said; and she, and he, and her household ate for many days.  The jar of meal was not spent, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD which he spoke by Eli’jah.  After this the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, became ill; and his illness was so severe that there was no breath left in him.  And she said to Eli’jah, “What have you against me, O man of God? You have come to me to bring my sin to remembrance, and to cause the death of my son!”  And he said to her, “Give me your son.” And he took him from her bosom, and carried him up into the upper chamber, where he lodged, and laid him upon his own bed.  And he cried to the LORD, “O LORD my God, hast thou brought calamity even upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son?”  Then he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried to the LORD, “O LORD my God, let this child’s soul come into him again.”  And the LORD hearkened to the voice of Eli’jah; and the soul of the child came into him again, and he revived.  And Eli’jah took the child, and brought him down from the upper chamber into the house, and delivered him to his mother; and Eli’jah said, “See, your son lives.”  And the woman said to Eli’jah, “Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is truth.”  –1 Kings chapter 17.

Na’aman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper…when Eli’sha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had rent his clothes, he sent to the king, saying, “Why have you rent your clothes? Let him come now to me, that he may know that there is a prophet in Israel.”  So Na’aman came with his horses and chariots, and halted at the door of Eli’sha’s house.  And Eli’sha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean.”  But Na’aman was angry, and went away, saying, “Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place, and cure the leper.  Are not Aba’na and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage.  But his servants came near and said to him, “My father, if the prophet had commanded you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much rather, then, when he says to you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?”  So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.  Then he returned to the man of God, he and all his company, and he came and stood before him; and he said, “Behold, I know that there is no God in all the earth but in Israel; so accept now a present from your servant.”  But he said, “As the LORD lives, whom I serve, I will receive none.”  2 Kings chapter 5.

Returning to the land of familiarity, banality, the commonplace,
Within the demand of identity, to have one’s way,
An individual amongst individuals, being somebody, staking claim, creating one’s own way,
Having things one’s way, exterior, going out amongst the horde intent upon being recognized as being right, a multitude of rationalization and justification,
Working in the minds of others, subtly exercising compliance to free will, manipulating, plotting in order to achieve ordinariness, talking, scheming, and being the establishing of a neighborhood of man, rage smartly amongst the mob,
Nazareth rejected Christ.
Extraordinary, the spiritual life sailing upon a sea of calmness,
Darkly driven by the winds of mystery,
Still waters, still mind, behavior in kind,
The astonishing meditates hidden,
Prayer reposing upon Christ’s breast,
The Eucharist exposed a daily standard,
Chosen while mystified, a life of one’s undoing, being done onto,
I live the life I did not want,
The unique quietly acquiescing,
Healed, called into deeper being by ways I did not want,
Purity, luminescence unseen,
I did not want and came into being,
I will receive none, seeking now to give,
Now a friend in servitude,
Identity destroyed, a severe decreasing, a severe increasing,
Let me now go off to properly die.

Sublime Growth

Sublime Growth

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Oct082015

Proper formation

The conviction grows stronger to hold tighter to St Paul Shrine. Today during mass, it was announced Sister Maria passed away. Listening to Father Roger celebrate mass, I understood it was necessary to ask him to be my spiritual director. The more God ask of me, the more willing I must be to place myself in obedience to the Church, not only the church yet also the Hospice of the Western Reserve. With no emotion nor desperation, I also long for the voice of Ann. I decrease in order for Christ to increase.

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Oct082015

Holy Spirit inspired

My new employment is demanding time and attention.  I find it profitable, a truly divine alteration in the living of my life, a proper preparation to my active time of working with the Hospice of the Western Reserve,  I cannot focus all of my intellectual power upon contemplative reasoning.  My faith becomes centered upon mass and the Eucharist, adoration and the Rosary daily placing me before the gaze of my Lord.  Father Thomas Philippe is being savored in small doses upon waking.  His writing upon Holy Spirit inspired interior instruction astounded.

There is a great mystery in all this–especially in view of the fact that Our Lord, the word of God, is the interior teacher.  Exterior teachers, such as professors of theology, only present the object, the truth, whereas the interior teacher gives understanding.  But when the Word, the interior teacher, came to earth, he did not follow the order that would seem logical.  Before teaching the Apostles, and in order to be understood by them, it would seem that he ought first to have given them the Spirit.  As master of the Spirit, he could have done so.  But the mysterious fact is that Our Lord’s disciples did not have the Spirit and so could not profit fully from His preaching. (thus improper interpretations, the argument who would be first, Peter being rebuked–told to get behind the Lord)  They did not know how to receive it as contemplatives.

Light is shed on this mystery (making it all the darker, as always with mysteries) when we consider Mary had already received the Spirit; indeed she was the bride of the Holy Spirit.  When she was present for Our Lord’s preaching, she took in everything, and profited fully from it.  “Mary kept all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:19).  

…preaching is a word addressed to faith.  It does not try to show by arguments that the mysteries of faith are credible; rather it presents them as mysteries and abides as deeply as possible in their mystery…Holy preaching is the overflow of contemplation.

There is a scene from ‘The Passion of the Christ’, the audio of the movie haunting–intensifying mysteries, where Mary, portrayed powerfully by Maia Morgenstern, searches for her imprisoned son.  Listening with her heart, Mary sinks to the floor, crawling about on the floor, perceiving with her heart.  Beneath her is her shackled and bound Divine Son.

the passion of the christ mary temple floor passion098

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