Inquietude: restlessness or uneasiness; disquietude.
“Inquietude proceeds from an inordinate desire of being delivered from the evil which we feel, or of acquiring the good which we desire; and yet there is nothing which tends more to increase evil, and to prevent the enjoyment of good than an unquiet mind. Birds remain prisoners in the nets, because when they find themselves caught, they eagerly flutter about to extricate themselves, and by that means entangle themselves the more. Whenever, then, your pressed with a desire to be free from some evil, or to obtain some good, be careful both to settle your mind in repose and tranquility, and to compose your judgement and will; and then gently procure the accomplishment of your desire, taking in regular order the means which may be most convenient; when I say gently, I do not mean negligently, but without hurry, trouble, or inquietude, otherwise, instead of obtaining the effect of your desire, you will mar all, and embarrass yourself the more.” –St Francis de Sales
Psalm 124
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, let Israel now say–
if it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when men rose up against us,
then they would have swallowed us up alive, when their anger was kindled against us;
then the flood would have swept us away, the torrent would have gone over us;
then over us would have gone the raging waters.
Blessed be the LORD, who has not given us as prey to their teeth!
We have escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped!
Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
Sister Mary Thomas assisted yesterday immensely. Her lingering effect proving stronger than her immediate. I experienced the resonating of ideas and concepts during my time with my friend. No work yesterday, I spent five plus hours with him. The St Francis de Sales quote arose appropriate as the first couple hours we sat in quiet, settling into our time together. I spoke very little, dozing at times. Nothing more than being together. Being still together. I do not want to embarrass myself, or burden my friend with over-attempts, appearing superficial and shallow in doing too much. I read his face and his eyes, allowing him to dictate relevancy. Efficiency is apposite, while personal attempts and agendas are superfluous. It aligns with a staunchness and firmness arising insisting upon the eliminating of fanatical/crazy, selfish, and immature faith. Relevancy, unpretentious and proper discernment, rules supreme. Everything is about my friend getting to heaven, and this is a simple thing, calling forth stillness, presence, and emptiness more than greatness, more than thoughts and words. Doing nothing usurps doing things my way. God is good and all giving. We are sharing together in order to allow God to reveal Himself, in order for God to bring my friend home. Once again, for the second time, Psalm 23 became pertinent, conceptualizing concretely. We hear it so much, it is bantered about so much, yet in moments of deep reflection it looms large. Psalm 124 also proved important. The meaning arose attached to an internal relevancy, the foes in the psalm being personal flaws rather than marauding men. I found it significant the flower’s net in concentrating upon the St Francis de Sales quote. I am experiencing subtle attacks by Satan, thoughts trending toward doubt, questioning that what I am doing is ignorant. Accusations that I am only doing this for myself. My efforts are a waste of time. I do not know what I am doing so I should just leave this poor man alone. In truth, that is why I sat still for so long. It took me over two hours of doing nothing before I felt comfortable with doing something. I did not know how to proceed forward, quieting myself until the subtle attacks from Satan subsisted. Waiting, being quiet, holding my tongue, stilling my mind, falling asleep a bit, I did not want involve myself in nonsense. Naturally, humbly, and simply, I extend myself. Another modest event yesterday assisted in my endeavors with my Hospice friend. Right before visiting him, I visited with a young couple regarding the purchasing of an elliptical exercise machine. I enjoyed my time with them immensely. They are from Turkey, Istanbul, enjoying their first child, a beautiful baby girl. Their home was immaculate and they welcomed me with such cheer. The elliptical machine is nice, top of the line. I smiled when the man mentioned with an undertone that his wife likes nothing but the best, and plus she used it only four or five times. I chuckled, acknowledging that what he was really saying was ‘I love my wife, she is beautiful and good, yet she is expensive’. His wife responded by informing me that isn’t it wonderful how clean she kept the machine. I am weak in the presence of kindness, gentleness, and goodness instantly agreeing to buy the exercise equipment, mentioning the money would be handy for them with the approaching holidays. The wife clapped her hands, exclaiming ‘yes it will’. The spirit of the young family carried me onto my friend. Putting my shoes on in order to leave, the father held his baby girl before their beautifully decorated Christmas tree, laughing and mentioning the delight his daughter displayed when looking at the tree. Avoiding the complexities of the world, putting aside all speculation, I could only admire the baby girl’s fascinated eyes as she cherished the blinking lights and shiny decorations of her family’s Christmas tree. Now I just have to figure out how to get the elliptical exercising monstrosity to my home.
St Francis de Sales
