No men’s meeting today after early mass at Sacred Heart. I was disappointed, informed the meetings are held the second and fourth of every month. It will be a solid start of Lent to enjoy the first Saturday with a fellowship meeting with the men’s group. I was contacted yesterday by a woman from the St Clare parish regarding their weekly Lent gatherings, aligned with the parish of St Paschal Baylon. The idea of increasing my faith based social life intrigues mightily. Clearly, God is demonstrating forthright in ways to be and not to be–maturity expanding. Demonstratively, I will point out one of the disturbing experiences directing me further into healthy communal activity within the Church. Even if the religious life is discerned later in life, a retiring to prayer and a singular concentration upon God, I am convinced it is first important to establish the fact I am able to intimately interact with mature members of the Church. I have determined it is best to put distance between John the Hermit and myself. Over a week ago, he left a harmless, yet deeply disturbing message on my phone, declaring his psychological interpretations on the dangers and prideful nature of facial hair. Setting aside detail and argument, foregoing issues and dealing with core problems, the message sounded weird, deranged and spiritually unhealthy, unsettling on a spiritually intuitive level. I did not respond to the message, allowing patience and time to allow a greater revealing. He furthered matters by leaving more messages apologizing, and more words absorbed in an attempt to profoundly analyze facial hair through psychological expertise. The matter became humorous on a bizarre level. He is harmless, yet strange and isolated in his spiritual path. I have no interest in pursuing such matters. Abbot William writes of marching to his own drummer, yet that solitary state is pursued within obedience and acquiescence. He was able to humbly interact and share with others. He could establish friendships and associations of lasting depth. I have been leery, while admiring, John the Hermit based upon his intense spiritual acumen, although cautious due to the fact when he speaks it is always from the position of a spiritual master. He talks to everyone with an implied tone that he is spiritually superior. Undoubtedly, God presents a way not to be. That experience came on the heels of a Sunday with a friend from St Paul Shrine who asked for a ride after mass. I took the woman immediately across town, foregoing a Holy Hour, pulled away from socializing with coffee and donuts, in order for her to attend her second mass within a two hour time period. I sat in the church, observing the single woman of no family ties isolated from everyone, sitting preoccupied in prayer, completely distant from the families attending Sunday mass. I decided to wash my car, feeling disturbed by spiritual gluttony. There was something disturbing I was a part of, something foreign to propriety, something abrasive to a peaceful solitary contemplative Holy Hour following mass shared amongst the body of Christ. I am firm in my conviction to distance myself from weird, immature, ways of living the spiritual life. I am able to abandon God, becoming more authentic in my humanity, in order to draw closer to God.
Monthly Archives: February 2016
Ravishing words
St Francis de Sales, I perceive, as a unique thinker of splendor, an expressive man of beautiful words. St Bernard of Clairvaux was known as the mellifluous one, dispensing words as sweet as honey, yet I cannot imagine words sweeter than the following. Embracing a theology of negation, still, a natural inclination for praise elevated to delight, creative flowery celebration wields immense delectation, a conquest of apathy, sloth, and lethargy. Within humility, let’s have fun burning bright.
So this heavenly spouse when he thought good to begin the promulgation of his law, cast down upon the assembly of those disciples whom he had deputed for this work a shower of fiery tongues, sufficiently intimating thereby that the preaching of the Gospel was wholly designed for the inflaming of hearts. Represent to yourself beautiful doves (the apostles) amidst the rays of the sun; you will see their plumage break into as many different colours as you change your point of viewing them; because their feathers are so fitted to display the light, that when the sun comes to spread his splendour on them, a multitude of reflections are made, producing a great variety of tints and glancing colours, colours so agreeable to the eye that they surpass all other colours, even the enamel of richest jewels; colours so resplendent and so delicately gilded that the gilding makes their own colours more bright than ever; for it was this sight which made the royal prophet say If you sleep among the midst of lots; you shall be as the wings of a dove covered with silver, and the hinder parts of her back with the paleness of gold. The Church is indeed adorned with ith an excellent variety of teachings, sermons, treatises and spiritual books, all very beautiful and pleasant to the sight by reason of the admirable mingling which the Sun of Justice makes of his divine wisdom with the tongues of his pastors, which are their feathers, and with their pens, which sometimes hold the place of tongues, and form the rich plumage of this mystic dove. But amongst all the divers colours of the doctrine which she displays, the fine gold of holy Charity is everywhere spread, and makes itself excellently visible, gilding all the science of the saints with its incomparable lustre, and raising it above every other science. All is love’s, and in love, for love, and of love, in the holy Church.
San Juan de la Cruz
I was left there so absorbed,
so entranced, and so removed,
that my senses were abroad,
robbed of all sensation proved,
and my spirit then was moved
with an unknown knowing,
all knowledge there transcending.
He who reaches there in truth
from himself is parted though,
and all that before he knew
seems to him but base below,
his knowledge increases so
that knowledge has an ending,
all knowledge there transcending.
Work is continuing seven days a week, unrelenting for months to come. I accept the exhaustion, the mental discombobulation, the weariness unable to be abandoned during prayer. Prayer basically reduced to recovery, a reconfiguring of the noise withstood throughout days of work and city life. The accumulation of cash within purity, prayer, and presence my embraced reality.
Brutal honesty
It is astonishing, says Pope St. Gregory, that we who are so unmortified presume to aspire to contemplation. We are full of ourselves and we would be filled with God! We exercise no restraint over either our body or our heart; we grant our senses all that they ask; we gratify our eyes with curious objects, our mind with innumerable vanities; we spend our time in vain and idle conversations; we give ourselves up to dissipation of heart every day, and we think we can establish ourselves in recollection at once and when we will. This is impossible. – – St Francis de Sales ‘The Secret of Sanctity’.
Sublime endeavor
Holy consideration of God in spiritual things!—which, as of its nature it does not breed fancies of the imagination, so it will not breed dreams. The consideration which belongs to the first degree is more interrupted, this is more stable and more exalted. Hence it produces all its effects with more excellence, namely, a livelier love and more spiritual joyousness: to which God adding His grace forbids with a more particular solicitude that she should be awakened…. – – St Francis de Sales ‘Commentary on the Canticle of Canticles’
The vocation of Prayer, a determining resource
Years previously, as a beginner in religious life, I had a very intense experience of the sensible graces of prayer….However, using the words ”sweetness” or “feeling” did not describe or characterize my prayer—only the awareness of His presence. As mentioned above, my prayer was ever dryer, simpler. The grace of prayer seems to have been, as it still is, an ever-deepening awareness and conviction of His presence, not merely as an intellectual conviction but an awareness deep within—very dry, very uneventful on the natural level, very captivating on the spiritual level, while not redounding to the feeling level. It is also a type of prayer very characteristic of monastic life.
Pere Poulain, following Bishop Bossuet, writes of a state of “spiritual binding” which he calls, “ligature”—a condition of the binding or suspension of the faculties concerning one’s interior life, especially during prayer….All too many souls given to prayer are not sufficiently instructed in this manner. If the soul can kneel or sit in the presence of Jesus enjoying this contemplative prayer of simplicity, the soul should be encouraged to remain in this prayer. All the great authors on prayer, from Origen to Evagrius Pontus, all the way to Saint Teresa of Avila, tell us that prayer is the lifting of the heart and mind to God. When the souls sits in silent prayer and great simplicity with mind and heart lifted up to God, it experiences its own form of contemplation, however ordinary it may otherwise appear.
I have always held the conviction that persevering in prayer will be my salvation, my sanctification and my success—whatever that will be. It will be the source of my apostolate, whatever form that will take. It will see me through whatever crosses that may come my way. –Abbot William ‘A Calling: an Autobiography and the Founding of the Maronite Monks of Adoration’.
San Juan de la Cruz
En la noche dichosa
en secreto que nadie me veía
ni yo miraba cosa
sin otra luz y guía
sino la que en el corazón ardía.
Aquesta me guiaba
más cierto que la luz del mediodía
adonde me esperaba
quien yo bien me sabía
en sitio donde nadie aparecía.
On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.
This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
him I knew so well —
there in a place where no one appeared.
Recent Comments