I turned the ship around this morning. Excitedly, I was going to rise early, attending the second of the month Rosary gala in Berea, praying three mysteries for the conversion of the world, a monthly ritual amongst devout worshippers, however waking at four in the morning after placing my head upon my pillow after midnight, I said no. I also intended to return to the Jennings Center after spending yesterday there. I said no. Today is a day of rest, reclining in bed, reading Abbot William’s story. He has me spellbound. His story reflects my own. A man I perceived as extremely holy tells his story through frustration, failure, disappointment, difficulty, plans crashing—in reality a solitary unremarkable life endured in struggle. A life that blossomed only later in life. I will comment that yesterday at the Jennings Center proved impressionable as one of my patients, the mischievous one, presented a startling change. It has been months since I last visited with the woman. I found her now bound to a wheelchair, looking emaciated, tired, an oxygen tube feeding her nose. Her eyes were bright though, and her surprise and happiness in seeing me made me want to return as soon as I could. She told me she was almost a goner, the staff believing she would not make it. She contracted a horrible cold and chest congestion. She is convinced the worst is behind her now. She appeared so pale and the drastic change in disposition, weariness dominating her, forced me to cherish her even more. She still had the mischievous nature though as I could tell she took great pride in having a visitor, all the other women of the ward, looking on in envy as I visited with her. It is truly a blessed environment of sadness, life coming to a conclusion. My patient though speaking of a reversal in health could not fight off her overwhelming exhaustion, dropping in and out of sleep as we talked.
Morning mass at St Clare provided grace during the celebration of the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple. The children of the school processed before mass carrying candles, their voices raised in song. The parish enlightens through family life, children in abundance. It touches my heart deeply. Yesterday, Father Kevin Estabrook, a remarkably astute mature religious mind within a younger priest, commented wonderfully on Jesus sending the cured Legion back to his family. Legion, freed from his many demons, desired to follow Jesus, however Jesus sent him back to his family. Words from the Homily: For often the cause of the demonic relationship is a rupture of the relationship with God and family. This is why, after the exorcism, Jesus sends the man back to his family to announce the Lord’s mercy. “Go home to your family and announce to them all that the Lord in his pity has done for you.” Jesus restores the relationship with God and heals the rifts of family division. All this reflects upon St Joseph, illuminating the relevancy he has attained within my life. I find it interesting he arises so mightily within my life over a year after the passing of my father. I embrace his simple way of normalcy and strength. I have a couple recent experiences that have furthered my realization for the necessity to distance myself from strange ways, lives removed from the good health of family life. Neither was evil, rather a demonstrating of ways not to be. The danger of pursuing the religious life, while losing the ability to interact with others in a sociably healthy manner. I am convinced Joseph and Mary, while embodying the profoundest symbolism and reality of the deepest aspects of the Church, lived normal lives of communal integration—the Holy Family a delightful combination of complexity within simplicity. I was going to detail the experiences, yet now I think not. I care for both individuals, while understanding caution and discretion must be exercised in putting distance between us. My focus is upon my family, work, and spiritually St Clares, Sacred Heart, and St Paul Shrine. The advancement I have been detailing will involve a mature unfolding of a deeper communal life. I want an immediate family of my own. Let us see what God provides.
Lyrics sung by the children of St Clare school
Many the gifts, many the people,
many the hearts that yearn to belong.
Let us be servants to one another,
making your kingdom come.
Christ, be our light! Shine in our hearts.
Shine through the darkness.
Christ, be our light!
Shine in your church gathered today.
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