I have a bedside vigil tomorrow after Spanish lessons with Lilly.  The patient is in her mid-nineties a Catholic woman who has received last rites.  I look forward to the two hours of prayer and profound companionship.  Today sitting in Adoration, Father Esterbrook and another priest entered, tending to the Monstrance.  Priest are special men to witness and contemplate.  I want to quote from the Gospel reading today:  Jesus answered, “If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God.’  You do not know him, but I know him.  And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar.  But I do know him and I keep his word.  I am going to ramble a bit, leaving alone the idea of lying, keeping the word of God.  Jesus elevates lying to sins of omission.  He is a liar if He does not tell the world who He is.  He is a liar if he does not reveal to the world what His Father is doing through Him.  His work is not complete.  There are things to be done.  Sitting in adoration, Barb from ‘Arise’ also conducted a Holy Hour.  She is a married woman and I have no problem spending one-one-one time with her.  Mary is of the same regard.  As I sat before the Eucharist, I thought about the matter, recognizing I felt like crying.  It did not take serious soul searching to determine why.  There is another married woman I spent time with and it racks me with guilt and confusion.  What is the difference?  I am going to avoid details, for the examination of conscience goes deep.  I did nothing intentionally wrong.  If I sinned it was not because of cruel intent or lust.  I am positive there is an open wound that was exposed.  I feel as if I have been knocked off my spiritual horse, while still accomplishing many good things during Lent.  I refuse to get back on, rather brushing myself off, examining myself, studying where I am at and why I got here–feeling the overwhelming need to cry, yet refusing, rather determined to investigate.  I will perform the sacrament of reconciliation Saturday.  I will make no pronunciations against another.  If she calls and needs my assistance, I will do as she deems necessary.  I trust her, while recognizing she is also vulnerable.  Something is happening there and I will not leave it alone if it calls again.  I will accept the burden of ensuring everything is done for the glory of God.