Father Esterbrook in his homily touched on the idea of identity. The concept struck relevant as my spiritual path, within the good and bad, focuses largely upon smashing identity, or to a lesser degree hiding identity. Unafraid to be wrong or right, unconcerned with being wrong or right, I have been tossing thoughts about–hidden many will remain. I think a more appropriate way to put the stated ambiguity would be the following. I am willing to be wrong if it draws me closer to God. If being right takes me further away from God, being right means nothing. In fact, being right can be extremely destructive. A common theme throughout my life has been the destruction of identity. Severe alcoholism an obtuse consequence. Father Esterbrook stressed the increasing of identity through Christ. John the Baptist in scripture proclaims He increases and I decrease (John 3:30). Let us follow the Gospel path of divine espousing: He (Jesus Christ) who comes from above is above all; he who is of the earth belongs to the earth, and of the earth he speaks; he who comes from heaven is above all. He bears witness to what he has seen and heard, yet no one receives his testimony…Interesting, no one receives his testimony. Clarity. The practical point establishes relevancy. This is not another avenue of spiritual expression and investigating. It is a man transforming–transforming through acquiescence and reduction. Mystery proclaims the loudest from the mouth of babes. When I heard Father clearly proclaiming the acceptance of an identity, the rooting of one’s life within Christ in order to become fully human and individual, I took internal protest, feeling my message was wrong. The affront proved pleasant. I like being wrong. Father stressed to become somebody. My agitation by the encouraging thought of identity caught my deepest spiritual antenna’s attention.  Something was wrong.  I wanted to point fingers.  It was obvious internally I had become attached to the idea of destroying one’s self in order to advance spiritually as a thing of my doing.  It was a concept I discovered and promoted.  The powerful concept of surrendering one’s self to one’s self, the smashing of identity, became a hidden prideful identity. However, if it ends there the advancement of identity in imitation of Christ never sets foot. I become grounded in self-love, intellectualizing simply for the sake of intellectualizing. Being right means more than growing, means more than experiencing the psychic change that is a part of serious spiritual maturing. This is not an Eastern emptying, nor Zen calisthenics. Christ increasing within me purifies and strengthens so that I live a fuller life.  Being whole in Christ, I am able to become someone special. My ideas of destruction, becoming fixated upon the destruction of identity, leads to misery, frustration, and stagnation. Perversion is a word defining all that strays away from God. All my efforts must be focused upon decreasing my prideful and sinful nature in order to allow God to fill, to become stronger in identity through Christ. If now I am to focus upon identity, accepting that certain growth has transpired, accepting the will of God for me to become more active, how do I act and how do I stay pure? I have established the fact I will not focus upon my sinful nature. I am more than a sinner when trusting in Christ, when obedient to the Church, when working devoutly with Our Holy Mother. Enough! Thoughts have commenced. My ideas on identity are changing. Details may be lacking, yet I accept the challenge. I have been working in that direction with my focus upon fellowship. God is allowing something to transpire within my life. I do my best trusting in the Lord, while always asking for more. When it comes to God, I am learning that enough is not enough. I want more. All for the glory of God and the salvation of souls.