Today during Holy Hour at St Clare’s quaint and adorable Eucharistic chapel, a particular sacred place for me, a thin-place, I found myself reflecting underneath prayer and silence upon work, connecting the matter to personal healing. I am growing comfortable at work, yet discovering an immense amount of growth necessary upon my part—all relating to recovery, subjects addressed within Healing the Eight Stages of Life. I am still working out of fear; guilt and shame, a sense of unworthiness dominating my behavior while on the clock. My employment creates great disturbance in being detail oriented; unable to conduct behavior maximum in efficacy, receptivity, and communication. Trust, autonomy, and initiative are the initial three personal realms of development forming within an individual, a life coming into identity and experience. The clarity of fasting enhances the understanding I have been thwarted regarding proper maturity in these initial areas. I like the words. Trust. Autonomy. Initiative. The fullness of being the most one can be is exercising these areas of personal formation and responsibilities through love–abiding within the love of Christ, while exuding love on to the world—acting out one’s part in the world without being dominated by fear. It’s one or the other. Either I am acting out of fear, or I am acting out of love. The choice is not made through will power. I cannot make the choice. Personal formation determines subconscious disposition and ways of reacting. Only through the grace of God can one overcome such travesties and imperfections. I bring the matter to my own life, comprehending my growth at work is dependent up my healing of childhood issues—losing the overwhelming fear and panic that disrupts my thinking and God given talents. Open me Lord so I can be effective and precise. It centers within the reality that my greatest healing exists within the world of a working man. The religious life is a short cut onto an easier path. To become fully healed is to remove the obstacles ingrained during infancy and childhood. I am convinced God is conducting such a process through my blue-collar work life. A childhood experience rooted itself during prayer, illuminating tendencies of anger, frustration, irritability, and self-esteem issues. I recalled being a child, losing my baseball mitt. At the time, I was a catcher, never using my normal mitt. I left the mitt behind after a game–aware of the missing glove the following day. Overwhelmed with guilt and shame, I said nothing to my father, fearful of his reaction. The incident turned revelatory when my father called me into his room. I knew something was up by the oddness of his demeanor, the fact he was isolating me by calling me into his room. He asked me where my baseball mitt was and I lied. He said to go get it. Nervous, sensing my father was irate, I turned to leave, attempting to buy myself some time to deal with the situation. He called out to me that I would not find it because a man just called saying he found my mitt at the park. He then preceded to beat me with a belt in an extreme outburst of agitation. The beating was the worst he ever levied. Throughout the lengthy ordeal a calmness swept over me. I understood my father was suffering and the beating had more to do with him than with me. God graced me with the where-withal to feel sorry for my father. Overall, my father offered an immense amount of love and attention upon me. God made it clear that his imperfections where not to be the barometer in which to measure his worthiness as a father. I love my father, yet now within a deeper prayer of necessity, I plead with Our Lord to heal me from the imperfections that were passed onto my father, and thus onto me, forever keeping the preciousness of my own Zack clearly in mind. I was far from a perfect father myself. Lord heal us, open us, allow the strengths of trust, autonomy, and initiative to build mightily, enhancing personal refinement in order to love and serve You greater. Another childhood experience emerges, imploring the Lord to heal and embolden my trust, autonomy, and initiative. I was a preschooler playing in our backyard when an accident occurred. I pooped my shorts. Everything happen so suddenly I could not stop it. The overwhelming and crushing incident ended my reality in every regard. I was devastated and paralyzed, unable to act or come up with a solution. I sat on the steps fearful of my mother’s reaction, unable to even consider her reaction. When she came across me sitting on the steps, she instantly knew something was wrong, figuring everything out in a matter of moments. The situation was resolved with irritation and verbal reprimands, hindering me with a sense of abandonment regarding trust, while guilt and shame ignited self-loathing. I like Healing the Eight Stages of Life encouraging imaginary self-induced treatment by visualizing experiences while this time adding Christ to the mix, encountering matters abiding within the companionship of Christ. Through the technique of calling upon the Divine for assistance everything is treated with love and understanding, not forgetting while forgiving, not rationalizing rather penetrating deeper. Through my employment, the exposing of weaknesses, the fact a great part of me still deals with everything through fear, panic, and mistrust I understand God is exposing the areas needed for attention. Their healing will allow me to love greater. This bring into the picture the significant other. I am convinced she is a vital reason God guides me into a commitment to work, a vocation calling forth attention to St Joseph. An overwhelming desire to become a complete man, a provider, comforter, and nurturer for the significant other built upon the idea of healing; becoming full in the light and love of Christ, sharing and loving the significant other in ascension and the glorifying of God, truly bringing out the best in one another through growth and healing. I have rambled enough, time for a mid-day nap. The fast calls forth the necessity I maximize my rest.