I celebrated Mass today at St Paul Shrine; coffee and leftovers from the Jubilee celebration of Mother Superior from the day before enjoyed afterwards.  I have been considering pulling away from the Shrine again, not attending yesterday as I did not spiritually need a social experience.  The interior needs tending and St Dominic satisfied.  Today, during coffee, croissant sandwiches, and potato salad fellowship proved subtly meaningful.  Someone has been gossiping at the Shrine. I detected the matter, yet more revealing was the response.  Some I did not expect anything from expressed quiet and dignified gratitude in sharing conversation.  I am pleased with my reputation, grateful for the respect I have garnered.  I stand humbly upon my prayer life and interaction with others.  I perceive a hardness entrenched within my soul at this time.  The Christmas season explosion has altered.  It will take time to settle.  Nonsense will not be tolerated and I will be confident and self-reliant piecing this together.  To pull away from the Shrine will be mandated strictly upon an inability to celebrate Mass with the Rescuer.  The complications and self-consciousness slight everything spiritual and natural, reducing matters to a selfish lower level—delusional and demented.  I demand more.  I have no doubt, hopeful and loving, grace will provide.  In fact, for the purpose of this blog, the Rescuer will be identified as Poison from henceforth.  The time of recusing has been destroyed—the dawning of new days commences.  During post-Adoration Mass thoughts struck relevant: If you cannot meet my strength, I cannot show you my weakness.  If you cannot meet my strength and I offer my weakness, you will feast upon my weakness, maneuvering to embolden yourself.  My weakness cannot be your strength, your means of control, if you cannot meet my strength.  Supernaturally, I relate the matter to the difference between Divine and evil interaction.  Divine interaction compassionately tenders, allowing human weakness to become an attribute, identifying strength, promoting growth, while influencing on the level of overcoming.  Evil interaction seeks its own good, arrogantly using weakness to seize control, to dominate and rule; temptation, whispers, and subtle intuitions exploit human weakness.  Where Divine interaction wisely recognizes the greater good, evil interaction pursues authority.  Poison has been gossiping.  The bizarre totality confounds.  The discernment of whether to continue at the Shrine becomes intricate.  Today is day one of a Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love,
Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need,
Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children
because they are moved by the divine love
and immense mercy that exists in your heart,
cast your compassionate eyes upon me
and see the snarl of knots that exist in my life.
You know very well how desperate I am,
my pain and how I am bound by these knots.
Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of His children,
I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life.
No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care.
In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone.
Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power
with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus,
take into your hands today this knot
I beg you to undo it for the glory of God,
Once and for all, you are my hope.
O my Lady, you are the only consolation God gives me,
The fortification of my feeble strength,
The enrichment of my destitution and with Christ the freedom from my chains.
Hear my plea.
Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge!
Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me

Mary Undoer of Knots