Monthly Archives: March 2017

Mar192017

Unconfined

Silence the memory,
Silence the imagination.
Silence the fantasy,
Silence the ambition,
Silence the vision,
Transform and change me in ways I do not understand,
Allow me to cherish a moment of grace,
A simple unknown sitting in awareness,
The continual exercise of prayer,
Not for pleasure,
Not for perception,
Not for reputation,
Not to be hidden,
Not for spiritual empowerment,
A harvesting of profound utilitarian riches,
The increasing of faith and charity,
The resilience of interior space shaped by you O Lord,
Lovingly forming,
Hope endowed through releasing pain,
Abrasive smoothing of erotic musings,
Possibilities and choices quieted,
Time and patience accepted,
Growth implanted,
A process continued,
The self-willed hope of things unseen dissipated,
The hope of eternity prevailing,
Wisdom attained in the surrender,
Acquiescence and passive reception,
A photograph of a childhood lived,
A black and white first communion,
Blessed with a birth sister companion,
A shared experienced unconfined,
The love of God supreme,
Silence the memory,
Silence the imagination,
Silence the fantasy,
Silence the intention,
Silence the stranger,
Awaken the friend on into a lover,

spacer
Mar182017

Daily life a means of perfection

I now quote Tanquerey: “The memory and imagination are two valuable faculties, which not only furnish the mind with the necessary material whereon to work, to enable it to explain the truth with the aid of images and facts in such a manner as to make it easier to grasp, and render it more vital and more interesting. The bare, colorless and cold statement of truth would not engage the interest of most men. It is not a question, then, of atrophying these faculties, but of schooling them, of subjecting their activity to the control of reason and will. Otherwise, left to themselves, they literally crowd the soul with a host of memories and images that distract the spirit, waste its energies, cause it to lose priceless time while at work or prayer, and constitute the source of a thousand temptations against purity, charity, humility and other virtues. Hence, of necessity, they must be disciplined and made to minister to the higher faculties of the soul.”

…“In order to check the wanderings of the memory and the imagination, we must first of all strive to expel them from the outset, that is, from the very moment we are aware of them, all dangerous fancies and recollections. Furthermore, since frequent daydreaming by a kind of psychological necessity leads us into dangerous musings, we should take heed to provide against idle thoughts, by mortifying ourselves in regards to useless fancies, which constitute a waste of time and pave the way to others of an even more perilous nature. The best means to attain this end is to apply ourselves wholeheartedly to the performance of the duties of the moment, to our work, to our studies, to our ordinary occupations.” ‘Silence: A Series of Conferences Given by a Camaldolese Hermit’


Father Adolphe-Alfred Tanquerey, pss (1854-1932)

spacer
Mar172017

Simple Divine satisfaction, contentment within striving

Similarly, if at any given moment of our prayer or meditation we experience more relish and devotion than at another, we should pause as long as this affection lasts, even though it continue during the whole time of our recollection.  As we have said, the purpose throughout is devotion, and it would be a mistake, in consequence, to seek elsewhere, and with doubtful hope of success, what we already hold securely in our hands.  –St Peter of Alcantara ‘Treatise on Prayer & Meditation’

A Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

spacer
spacer
Mar162017

Simple time of Lent: Renewal & Repentance

The Presence of God. I pause for a moment and think of the love and the grace that God showers on me: I am created in the image and likeness of God; I am God’s dwelling place.

Freedom Lord you created me to live in freedom. May your Holy Spirit guide me to follow you freely. Instill in my heart a desire to know and love you more each day.  What most often stops me achieving freedom is my tendency to be caught up in fears and expectations about what I ‘ought’ or ‘should’ be.  My usual automatic responses tie me down and inhibit me from exploring new areas of growth.  I ask and pray for a greater sense of inner freedom and that I might reach the fresh and challenging possibilities that God wishes me to realize.

Consciousness: How am I really feeling? Lighthearted? Heavyhearted? I may be very much at peace, happy to be here. Equally, I may be frustrated, worried, or angry. I acknowledge how I really am. It is the real me that the Lord loves.  Conscious of your presence, Lord, I look over my recent past. Let me be honest with myself about how I’ve been and what I’ve done, Because I know you love truth in the heart And accept me just as I am.

Conversation I know with certainty there were times when you carried me, Lord. When it was through your strength I got through the dark times in my life.

Sacred Space

spacer
Mar152017

Holy Fool

A tremendous mystical novel: ‘Laurus’ by Eugene Vodolazkin.

As he arrived home, Arseny wiped away his tears and told Ustina (his dead youthful wife, dying from a miscarriage he blames himself for—the death years in the past):

And so you see my love, what is happening.  I have not spoken to you, my love, for several months and I have no excuse.  Instead of atoning for my sin, I am ever more mired in it.  How can I pray for your atonement before God, my poor girl, when I myself am sinking into the abyss?  It would not be so regrettable, you know, if I alone were to be lost forever, but who will atone for thee and the babe?  I am the only one here who prays fervently for you and that is the sole reason that I still do not despair.

That is what Arseny said to Ustina.  He gathered Christofer’s manuscripts (his grandfather’s) in a bag, showed it to Ustina, and added:

Here is the bag with Christofer’s manuscripts, essentially the most treasured thing I have.  I would take it and go wherever I feel like, away from my renown (fame as a healer of the plague in Belozersk).  My renown has overcome me: it is driving me into the ground and preventing me from conversing with Him.  I would leave here, my love, but the prince of this city will not release me, though the main thing that keeps me here is Kseniya and Silvester.  They would be happy to pray with me for you and the baby but they do not understand that only I can do that.  I am the only one on this earth who is still united to you and it is as if you continue to live through me.  But Kseniya thinks I am destroying the living in the name of the dead and wants to pray for you as if you were dead, though I happen to know you are alive, only in a different way

……….

The coldness seem to intensify when the moon appeared.  Arseny (wandering away from Belozersk, Kseniya, and Silvester) thought the moon itself was pouring out the silvery cold that was spreading across the land.  He took pity upon his chilly body for a while but the pity left him when he suddenly remembered his body for a while but the pity left him when he suddenly remembered his body was defiled by another’s clothes and lice.  This was no longer his body.  It belonged to the lice, the person who previously wore his clothes, and, finally, the cold.  But not to him.

As if I were dwelling in the body of another, thought Arseny.

However sympathy one might have for another’s body, its pain cannot be perceived as one’s own.  Arseny knew that, having helped infirmed bodies.  Though he had lived in the pains of others in order to ease it, he could never fathom all its depths.  And now the matter at hand concerned a body he did not even sympathize with very much.  A body that, for the most part, he despised.

……….

He takes me for a holy fool, Arseny told Ustina.

And who else could you be taken for? Said Foma, surprised.  Just take a look at yourself, O Arseny.  You really are a holy fool, for thou hath chosen a life for yourself that is wild and disparaged by people.

And he knows my christened name.

Foma began laughing.

How could I not when it is written all over every christened person’s face?  Of course it is more complicated to guess about Ustin but you yourself are informing everybody about him.  So go ahead and holyfool it, dear friend, don’t be shy, otherwise they’ll all get to you with reverence in the long run.  There deference is not compatible with your goals.  Remember how things were in Belozersk (comfort,  wealth, and fame).  Do you need that?

Who is this who knows my secrets?  Arseny turned to Foma.

Who are you?  Who?

A prick wearing one shoe, answered Foma.  You are asking about things of secondary importance.  But I will tell you the main thing.  Go back to Zavelichye, the part of town beyond the Velikaya River, where the John the Baptist Convent stands on the future Komsomol Square.  I suspect you have already spent the night at the convent cemetery.  Stay there and believe me: Ustina could have been in that convent.  I think she just never got that far.  Though you made it here.  Pray for her and yourself.  Be her and yourself simultaneously.  Be outrageous.  Being pious is easy and pleasant, go ahead and make yourself hated.  Don’t let the Pskovians sleep: they are lazy and incurious.  Amen.

Foma drew his arm back and hit Arseny in the face.  Arseny silently looked at him, feeling the blood flow from his nose and run down his chin and neck.  Foma embraced Arseny and his face got bloody, too.  Foma said:

By giving yourself to Ustina, you are, I know, exhausting your body, but disowning your body is only half of it.  As it happens, my friend, that can lead to pride.

What else can I do? Though Arseny.

Do more, Foma whispered right into Arseny’s ear.  Disown your identity.  You have already taken the first step by calling yourself Ustin.  So now disown yourself completely.

Hoiy Fool

1 Corinthians 3:18: Let no one deceive himself.  When any one of you thinks he is wise in this world, he must first be foolish; then he will be wise.

spacer
Mar142017

Imitating the Master

On the contrary, silence produces two admirable of facts, which teaches us how to speak well.  The first is, to forget all the language the world had taught us—a circumstance which is as necessary for us, in order to speak well, as it is for one that pretends to be master of any science to abandon of faults maxims he had already learned.  The second effect is, that long silence gives us time to learn how to speak; it gives us leisure—to observe the most accomplished in this science—there manner, their deliberation, their sweetness; and also their gravity and prudence, that we may form ourselves on those models.  An apprentice observes how his master works, thereby to conform himself, and to become afterwards master of his trade; so we ought continually two hearken to the best masters in the art of speaking, and endeavor to imitate them as much as we are able.

…..

“I have more impediment and slowness of tongue,” said Moses to God, “ever since you were pleased to speak to me.”  –St Alphonsus Rodriguez ‘The Practice of Christian & Religious Perfection II’

spacer