…there is almost nothing I can say that will help you, and I can hardly find one useful word.  You have had many sadnesses, large ones, which passed.  And you say that even this passing was difficult and upsetting for you.  But please, ask yourself whether these large sadnesses haven’t rather gone right through you.  Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.  The only sadnesses that are dangerous and unhealthy are the ones that we carry around in public in order to drown them out with noise; like diseases that are treated supefically and foolishly, they just withdraw and after a short interval break out again all the more terribly; and gather inside us and are life that is unlived, rejected, lost, life that we can die of.  If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little beyond the outworks of our presentiment, perhaps we would bear our sadnesses with greater trust than we have in our joys.  For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy embarrassment, everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing.  –‘Letters to a Young Poet’ Rainer Maria Rilke