Monthly Archives: April 2019

Lover of God

The monastery on the mount of Casinum had suffered no damage during the war. After the conquest of Neapolis all major fighting had taken place farther north. Once a large forage party of Goths came to Casinum, where they found very little. The commander thought of sending some of his men up to the monastery, but he made some inquiries first and, when he heard that the monks only had one meal a day, he decided they must be near starvation and that it was not worthwhile climbing a mountain to take away the last of their food.

Fugitives came, especially during the siege of Rome, peasants whose farms had been burned, men and women searching for missing relatives and friends. Tertullus came to bid farewell to his son Placidus, who, with several other monks, was to build a small monastery in Sicily. He was deeply impressed to find his boy transformed into a strong and vibrant personality. “It’s an amazing thing,” he told Benedictus, “despite all the severe discipline here, he gives the impression of being a freer man than I am.”

“And so he is,” Tertullus, “not despite but because of that discipline.”

Tertullus sighed. “We Romans have lost the ability for it; yet it’s one of the old Roman virtues.”

“There was much that was good in the Roman World,” Benedictus said, “and we are trying to recreate its substance.”

“In that case, these monks of yours may well be the first new Romans. According to your rule you elect your abbots. That makes you a republic…a republic of saints, or rather a number of such republics, since each monastery is an independent unit. Those in Sublacum are flourishing, Placidus has told me, and so is the new one in Terracina. When I arrived, I saw a building at the foot of the mountains; it wasn’t there when I came the last time…”

“It is a Convent. The nuns there live in a way similar to ours.”

“And you founded it?”

“No. My twin sister, Scholastica.”

“How many nuns are living there?”

“I don’t know.”

Will you ask? I know of a relative of mine who may wish to join them. Rusticiana, widow of Boethius.”

“She should enquire herself or send another lady to do so for her. No man may enter the convent.”

“But surely you must meet your own sister from time to time?”

“Yes. We meet once a year on a nearby farm, run by good and devout people.”

“To talk of old times, of memories of your childhood?”

“To talk of God.”

Tertullus nodded. Here was the answer to a question he had often asked himself. A saint was a lover; he was in love with God. A true lover was happiest when talking to the beloved, and next to that, when he could talk about the beloved. Whatever he did, said, or thought would always encompass the beloved or be encompassed by the beloved. Lesser men were like the moon, reflecting the divine fire as light, but the lover, the saint, was like the sun, lit up by the divine fire, burning and yet not consumed. It was the light of that fire that made the monastery what it was, a radiant place full of happy expectation. Only the best could live here all the time. He could not. I wish I could die here though, he thought.

“You will,” Benedictus said and walked away. Only when he had gone did Tertullus realize that the Abbot had read his heart.

“Citadel of God: A Novel about Saint Benedict” Louis de Wohl. Ignatius Press.

spacer

The Risen Christ

The disciples of Jesus recounted what had taken place along the way,
and how they had come to recognize him in the breaking of bread.

While they were still speaking about this,
he stood in their midst and said to them,
“Peace be with you.”
But they were startled and terrified
and thought that they were seeing a ghost.
Then he said to them, “Why are you troubled?
And why do questions arise in your hearts?
Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.
Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones
as you can see I have.”
And as he said this,
he showed them his hands and his feet.
While they were still incredulous for joy and were amazed,
he asked them, “Have you anything here to eat?”
They gave him a piece of baked fish;
he took it and ate it in front of them.

He said to them,
“These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you,
that everything written about me in the law of Moses
and in the prophets and psalms must be fulfilled.”
Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.
And he said to them,
“Thus it is written that the Christ would suffer
and rise from the dead on the third day
and that repentance, for the forgiveness of sins,
would be preached in his name
to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.
You are witnesses of these things.”

Gospel of Luke

spacer

Easter driving home

“The Life of Mary as Seen by the Mystics” Rahpael Brown an audiobook

spacer

Prophet Isaiah fortells

See, my servant shall prosper,
he shall be raised high and greatly exalted.
Even as many were amazed at him–
so marred was his look beyond human semblance
and his appearance beyond that of the sons of man–
so shall he startle many nations,
because of him kings shall stand speechless;
for those who have not been told shall see,
those who have not heard shall ponder it.

Who would believe what we have heard?
To whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up like a sapling before him,
like a shoot from the parched earth;
there was in him no stately bearing to make us look at him,
nor appearance that would attract us to him.
He was spurned and avoided by people,
a man of suffering, accustomed to infirmity,
one of those from whom people hide their faces,
spurned, and we held him in no esteem.

Yet it was our infirmities that he bore,
our sufferings that he endured,
while we thought of him as stricken,
as one smitten by God and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our offenses,
crushed for our sins;
upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole,
by his stripes we were healed.
We had all gone astray like sheep,
each following his own way;
but the LORD laid upon him
the guilt of us all.

Though he was harshly treated, he submitted
and opened not his mouth;
like a lamb led to the slaughter
or a sheep before the shearers,
he was silent and opened not his mouth.
Oppressed and condemned, he was taken away,
and who would have thought any more of his destiny?
When he was cut off from the land of the living,
and smitten for the sin of his people,
a grave was assigned him among the wicked
and a burial place with evildoers,
though he had done no wrong
nor spoken any falsehood.
But the LORD was pleased
to crush him in infirmity.

If he gives his life as an offering for sin,
he shall see his descendants in a long life,
and the will of the LORD shall be accomplished through him.

Because of his affliction
he shall see the light in fullness of days;
through his suffering, my servant shall justify many,
and their guilt he shall bear.
Therefore I will give him his portion among the great,
and he shall divide the spoils with the mighty,
because he surrendered himself to death
and was counted among the wicked;
and he shall take away the sins of many,
and win pardon for their offenses.

spacer

Appropriacy

Intrusion upon inclusion,
That which agrees, I seek not to define,
Abuse, misuse, self-elevation decline,
The Church serves me no good as a weapon,
There is NO point in my being right,
Self-serving disappoints, haunting the mind,
The Church serves me no good in self-glorification,
Rewards flattering, perverting,
Seduction arguing away from sacrifice,
Internally, that which confronts unbinds,
In disagreement, growth stings my pride,
When the words of the Church drop my eyes,
A voice of rebellion whispering “NO”,
Inherently crying, “I can’t”,
There God mercifully waits for my surrender,

spacer
spacer

Saintly storytelling

“Let him not be violent nor over-anxious, nor exacting nor obstinate, not jealous nor prone to suspicion, or else he will never be at rest. In all his commands, whether concerning spiritual or temporal matters, let him be prudent and considerate. In the works which he imposes, let him be discreet and moderate, bearing in mind the discretion of holy Jacob, when he said: ‘If I cause my flocks to be overdriven, they will all perish in one day.'”

“…perish in one day.”

“Perish in one day,” Benedictus himself repeated wearily, and he passed his hand across his forehead, as if to brush off a fly. “Taking then the testimonies born by these and the like words to discretion, the mother of virtues…”

“discretion, the mother of virtues…”

“…let him so temper all things, that the strong may have something to strive after, and the weak nothing at which to take alarm.”

His hand touched his forehead again. The fly was back and it was not a fly, but a thought, and it was not a thought but a picture, the water, the lake, the boy…

“…at which to take alarm”, Maurus repeated. Looking up he saw, startled, that the Abbot was staring past him, his eyes wide open, he could see the white around the iris. What was he staring at? There was nothing but the wall of the cell…

“Brother Maurus!” The Abbot’s voice cut like a whiplash. “Placidus is drowning in the lake. He’s carried off by a current. Run to save him. Run!”

Maurus ran. He raced along the corridor–two other brothers only just managed to step aside–bumped against the door, tore it open, and rushed down to the lake. His mind was a blank. He was the Abbott’s command incarnate and put into motion, nothing less. He flew forward as if he were blown by a gale.

He could see the boy’s head, a round black thing, bobbing up and down far away in the lake, and he rushed towards it, a dog after its quarry, a heron pouncing on its prey.

The boy’s head grew, it was near, it was in front of him, he need only bend down. Bend down? In a flash his mind came back to him, and he knew, in a panic, that this was impossible, that he was on the water and yet not in it, and at once the water came up and he felt it splashing over his body, cold and numbing and full of enmity; and at the same moment the boy’s head disappeared.

But it bobbed up again, and Maurus knew that the command was still in force, and he leaped forward like a salmon and seized the boy by his hair; he threw himself on his back and the boy’s body came to rest on top of him, so light that it seemed to have no weight at all, and now only he began to swim, grasping and bewildered, towards the shore.

A quarter of an hour later he and Placidus reported to the Abbott, both pale and feeling rather dizzy.

“I have lost one of our pitchers”, Placidus confessed. “Brother Cellerarus sent me to fetch the water, and the pitcher slipped through my fingers. When I tried to grasp it, I fell into the lake.”

Benedictus nodded. “The fear you felt was penance enough, but you must learn to concentrate your mind on the task given to you.”

“Yes Father Abbot.”

Maurus tried to speak and could not. Again he tried and failed. In the end, he managed to say: “Something happened to me, Father Abbot.”

Benedictus waited patiently.

“I…I…walked…” Maurus made a tremendous effort. “I…walked…on the water,” he blurted out.

Benedictus said nothing.

“You made me do it”, Maurus stammered.

“You were obedient,” Benedictus said, “God rewards merit.”

But Maurus raised protesting hands. “I couldn’t have done it,” he said, trembling, “not alone. There’s never been… I never have…well, I couldn’t and I didn’t; I know I didn’t, because I knew nothing at all about it till it happened. It wasn’t me at all, Father Abbot, it was you. You commanded me to do it, you must have…”

Placidus said in a high voice: ‘I know it was You, Father Abbot. I can’t swim. I was drowning, and you dragged me up, I could see your melote over my head all the time.”

They both looked at Benedictus, their eyes shining. He put a finger to his lips. But they saw, for a brief moment, what few people were allowed to see: his smile, full of warmth and joy.

–‘Citadel of God: A Novel about Saint Benedict’ author Louis de Wohl

spacer