I have a new abode, a home, providing comfort and peace. The presence of the church surrounding is astounding. St Charles Borromeo, Perpetual Adoration chapel included, is approximately a mile southwest. St Charles conducts morning and evening Masses, functionally allowing Daily Mass to be an easy endeavor. To the east is the Jesuit Retreat House, less than a quarter mile away, attractively presenting walking paths for prayer and exercise. Their schedule of events, religious conferences and gatherings, offers interesting opportunities for exploring Catholicism. I intend a visit soon regarding a spiritual director. Within a block is St Josaphat, a Ukrainian Catholic Church. My first weekend residing, the church held a weekend festival; parades, music, and feasting celebrating faith and heritage. Architecturally, the church is imposing and majestic. To continue the mile surrounding of churches, directly to the west, off West 54th Street, is another Eastern Catholic Church, Holy Spirit, a Byzantine church catering to Carpathian Mountain cultures. To the south is St Paul Shrine, an easy driving excursion with connecting highways allowing a simple trip. I remember once, Father David Mary talking about a Polish Bishop, I believe—I could be wrong, yet the idea that the first thing the ecclesiastic would do in regard to spiritually fortifying an urban area was to establish a monastery to the north, south, east, and west of the city, surrounding the city with cloistered religious men and women devoted to prayer. Beyond the religious life, I have centered my life of recovery within Alcoholics Anonymous. My social life has expanded to a group of men who once assisted. The companionship, fellowship, is more than nice. It is necessary, fundamental for a life based upon sharing. For the first time in my life, it comes natural. The realization I cannot do this alone is concrete in a way it has never been before. I have also established a one-on-one relationship with a man who is taking me through the Big Book. Tonight, I ventured to a Big Book meeting, mostly young men attending. Being complex as I am, I initially found the maturity level of the young men annoying. I settled into peace as they determined to read chapter 3, More About Alcoholism. I had just read the chapter the previous night. The exercise proved profound as I assumed an attitude of relating rather than comparing. I comprehended there was purpose to reading the chapter two days in a row. Amongst the reality of powerlessness, a lack of power, the concentration upon the first drink and the fact self-knowledge—for that fact nothing done alone, including faith—would ever allow me to stay sober. Left to my own devices, no matter how well intended I was, sobriety would never be maintained if I remained isolated and unattending to the root causes of a lifetime of alcoholism. No matter how much I loved God, I had to do what needed to be done. I could not be a baby suckling on the breast of God, an immature being unable to remove himself from hiding from the world, devoted to God not as a psychologically sound adult, rather a broken individual afraid and unknowing how to become happy, joyous and free. The desire overwhelms to become the man God always intended me to be. His love and mercy which knows no bounds must become the inspiration for a life of unraveling, a social life of fellowship and healing. It is a we endeavor. Alone, I can do nothing. In unhealthy solitude, I will eventually kill myself. Dramatic words, yet it is a horrible fact. I do not feel like writing anymore. One more thing, I intended to touch upon. My employment is advancing me into management. I am convinced it is God demanding that I apply myself, to become active, responsible, and accountable. I need His help, yet I am confident. The running, hiding, and fear must become the ways of a life overcome. God is creating a new man. I am willing, surrendering to His demands. Tomorrow is a new day, a day I will enjoy a cruise on Lake Erie and the Cuyahoga River with members of AA.
Sep072018