Eating lunch at McCarthy’s utilizing a Groupon.  It is a bar,  did not realize that purchasing.  It means nothing.  Just attended mass,  a Rosary before with the Poor Clare’s,  identifying the voice of the woman discerning,  staying for a visit.  It means something.  The Eucharist is there.  It means a lot.  It does not mean everything.  God comforts,  strengthens,  yet my battles endure.  I am such a nervous wreck I feel sick.  I am convinced I will be let go, fired.  I accept the fact, humbled. I am not defeated. I will persevere. God is with me. He loves me. I saw Ann, not even wanting to have lunch with her, wanting to be alone.  Her call was enough, a lot. I went to confession, seeking absolution for being absolutely absorbed within fear. I can only defeat the truth within truth and recognition.  I have three books from the main library, advanced thought on the contemplative life,  Peter Alcantara and Father Garrigou-Lagrange. At this time, they mean nothing accept escape. Nothing means more right now than trust; a complete surrender to faith, hope, and charity. Holy Mother throw your protecting mantle around me, in fact NO. My Loving Mother let me go. Let me face the world humbly independent and strong within my weakness and surrender. Jesus I trust You to trust me.