A reflection upon an idea from an unknown novel graced thoughts during Mass today.  The fictional story, written by an author I forget, titled with a title I forget, detailed the imprisonment of an alcoholic.  The man caused a heinous multi-fatality car crash while severely impaired.  He possessed no memory of the accident.  An educated functioning alcoholic, a professional success, although suffering a wretched personal life—divorce, detachment from family, and a financial dissipation, the fragmented man found himself enduring a lengthy prison sentence.  Inside the prison, an encounter with a prison gang leader marked my memory with relevance.  The alcoholic, experiencing forced sobriety, found himself developing a keen clarity, a spiritual awakening, his mind experiencing a lucidity he had not known since childhood.  With his advanced background, he attained a clerical prison job allowing him as much isolation as possible.  His peace would come to an end once the gangs determined to force him to declare an alliance.  Reasoning, one of the prison bosses explained his quandary.  He told the man that he was going to experience extreme strife because he was still thinking ‘outside in’.  The boss complimented his intelligence, his manners, his dedication to spiritual pursuits, all his admirable efforts in the prison AA meetings and religious life, however all these worthy attributes were not enough because he was still not recognizing he was in prison.  Delusion still plagued consciousness.  The prison interior life ruled.  The gangs ascending to mastery.  The man was not giving into powerlessness enough.  The professional alcoholic was making a grave mistake by thinking like he was outside prison.  The brutal reality was he was in prison, and the fact there were powers greater than him.  The prison boss explained, “Bad things, very bad things are going to start happening to you if you do not experience a ‘psyche change’.  You have to start thinking ‘inside-out’.  You must realize your survival on the inside means everything.  Everything you do must be centered upon this horrible reality. Everybody has given you a chance to settle into your cushy job, waiting for the opportunity to pounce.  You have been watched since the moment you walked through those doors.  The pouncing has commenced.  That job you enjoy, allowing you to receive unmonitored mail, was arraigned by those living fully on the inside.  You have to change the very way you think about things if you want to get out of here alive.”  In my way, I have taken liberties in recalling the idea, the exact details of the story toyed with.  The point is the idea of thinking ‘inside-out’ in regards to faith.  The reality my contemplative life calls for the living of inside-out.  My interior life is the center of my being, that interior being defined as weakness, brokenness and unmanageability placing me in my current position.  Scripture through St Paul the Apostle makes clear: “My (the Lord’s) grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  Building upon faith, hope, and charity, I stand proudly upon my interior, knowing and nurturing, seeking the revealing of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  Through this center, I interact with the exterior, the outside, allowing God to point out areas in need of healing and attention.  I move away from the thoughts, realizing I did not explain so well reflections during prayer, allowing a lingering, passing on into the experiential.  The significant other has proposed a vacation in mid-July to Mystic, Connecticut.  I am enthralled and enraptured by the idea.  We will be staying in a small cabin with an Atlantic Ocean view.  It will be a photographic bonanza.  We will swim in the ocean, canoe down the Mystic River, possibly take a steam train and river-boat cruise, allowing the days to present action and adventure.  She grew up in the town so familiarity will aid us in maximizing efforts.  It is good and exciting.  I am humbled with the thought of prayer, especially Rosaries, while looking out over the ocean.  Thinking ‘inside-out’, I am positive it is going to be monumental in the advancement of our relationship.  God is good and all giving.