Poetry

A spiritual director found

Joseph enwrapping arm around, supporting,
His holy wife,
Parents of the Holy Family,
Caregivers to the Divine Child,
Unknowing, preparing for the Crucifixion,
Nurturing sublime,
Mary speaks to me,
Fully present, aware,
Finger to her lips,
Quiet she says,
Shhhh……quiet…..please,
Hush yourself,
Settle down,
Let it be,
Be calm,
Simplicity breathe,
Let all things go,
Release, heal and then heal some more,
Sweetie, I, the Undoer of Knots, am untying,
Let me do the work,
Even more be quiet,
Again, hush yourself,
Never stop trying,
Get up for you have fallen again,
Advance your ceasing,
Trust and be quiet,
Silence all your arguments,
Mute your protestations,
Patience within your adoration,
Patience in your prayer,
Upon your knees turn your eyes heavenly,
Quiet evermore,
Still all that you think is good,
My little beloved one peace,
Stop all the chattering,
You know God sees all things,
Trust,
Linger in the emptiness,
Remain calm in the unknowing,
I have no message aside from this:
Be quiet,
Remain at peace within your hiddenness,
You are chosen,
Hear the call crying,
In the silence hear the roar,
Within the thundering remain centered,

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A poem of weariness

Accept the dark cloud of ambivalence,
Brutally cold, frozen and bit,
A lack of circulation, reconnaissance,
Attraction, repulsion, contradicting sloth, vigor envelopes,
A slippery serpent tongue,
Whispering nothing matters, cease and desist.
Get behind me Satan,
Leave me alone within this darkness,
Let me try to pray,
Let this headache have its way with me,
Let my emotions assault me,
Let me feel sorry for myself,
Allow my imperfections to scream and accuse God of nihilism,
Let my heart shed tears so deeply they cleanse,
Let me have my desperate affront,
Counterattack the shame of sin,
From the head to the heart to the hand,
From the thought to the conviction to the deed,
Let me come to terms with who I am,
Allow this pain to hurt and rend,
Let me search for someone to hate,
Let me judge and accuse,
Let me declare I am someone,
Allow futility to play out its cruel fate,
Let me wear myself out,
Let me cry I am hurt,
Kicking and shouting, punching and screaming, extinguish,
Let me exhaust my thoughts,
Allow me to pass beyond myself,
Let me know it is not Satan I should fear,
Let me know myself,
Allow the silence to purify,
To place upon my shoulders a burden so light,
Submission and abandonment,
Open my eyes for I am blind,
Allow the child to spit, curse, and pout,
How long can I carry on?
Be merciful, Merciful One,
For before You, I am simply a child unconditionally loved.
Lord, I am wounded,
Unburden the chains.

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Stories within St Joseph

Words from Abbot William’s autobiography “A Calling”

One fulfilling event while living in Montreal was the opportunity to visit that especially holy place called the Oratory of Saint Joseph.  A special grace granted me all during these years, along with the grace to desire adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, has been my abiding devotion to Saint Joseph.  Dear Saint Joseph has always been there for me and always seems to be with me.  I have this connection despite a very real characteristic of Saint Joseph, which is that he sees to it that one has all that one needs but not all that one wants.  I have never found this a difficulty in my love for, devotion for, and dependence on him.  Nonetheless, it is important to understand this aspect of St Joseph, less one become discouraged.  I accept this aspect of my relationship with him and have long realized that while he is taking the best care of me, he does not interfere with the crosses that Heaven wishes to send.  I was once sharing my devotion to Saint Joseph with some teaching Sisters of Saint Joseph.  “Oh,” they said almost in unison, “he’s always so slow.”  My surprise left me without comment.

Until I came to Saint Joseph’s Oratory in Montreal, I do not remember ever having been graced with any special “experiences” of the spiritual or mystical life, that is, any special religious endeavors, outpourings, or phenomena of any kind.  While frequently visiting the glorious shrine of Saint Joseph’s Basilica, I would go alone, walk about the whole area, viewing everything pertaining to wonderful Saint Brother Andre.  I would then kneel before the altar of Saint Joseph to pour out my heart.  It was there as nowhere else that I was given an overwhelming conviction that, first, all would turn out well; and, second, that he, Saint Joseph, would be there for me.  It is now over fifty years since this grace.  It seems as only yesterday.  The proof of this experience is its fulfillment through these many years. 

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Mary already knew that her virginity was better safeguarded within her matrimony to Joseph than it would be even in her single life.  Now she is assured by the heavenly messenger that her pure, holy bond with Joseph will become much purer and holier.  That is why she humbly accepts her own and her Husband’s role in the order of the Hypostatic Union, saying to the angel, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done unto me according to thy word.”  At this, Mary’s explicit and Joseph’s implicit Fiat, the Word was made flesh and became our Emmanuel, “God with us.”   ‘St Joseph the Virginal Father of Jesus’, J. Ivan Prcela.

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May 1st is the Feast day of Saint Joseph as Model of Workers.  It is my son’s birthday.

Altruistic caregiver,
One who sacrifices for the Sacrifice,
An origin, a birth-line,
Benevolent custodian loving and kind,
Uncrowned king teaching a practical little way,
Exquisite, ingenious, simple, divine,
Father and guardian,
A nurturing source,
Knowing while never raising your voice,
Moment by moment a provider,
Three standing as one,
The Holy Family,
Mary knew you,
Mary loved you,
You were her man,
Jesus adored you,
Looking up to you,
Laughing and playing,
Running and jumping,
Learning to be humbly with us,
He lived as your joyous son!

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In haste, a Saturday morning reflection

“Let us cross to the other side.”
A storm awake,
Waves of fear,
Waves of doubt,
Waves of mutilation,
Waves pounding,
Waves thrashing,
Waves announcing,
Upheaval unable to pronounce,
I drove my car into the ocean,
Ceasing to resist, I call out,

One sleeping in peace,
One dreaming onto the Father,
Notices the disruption,
“Quiet! Be still!”
“Why are you terrified?”

Sitting during early mass at Sacred Heart, aware of no men’s meeting this week, aware many of the men were still attending, a strength germinated within. Several of the men sitting in silence inspired. I admire the success coupled with the ability to remain quiet. A strengthening, a receiving is attained within their religious experience. Warriors in life, they come to mass for nourishment, bringing to the sacrifice of Our Lord what He truly adores: a humble soul needing the Eucharist. A sentence from Abbot William’s autobiography detailing his founding of the Maronite Monks of Adoration: This predicament of life could easily discourage one, or hopefully, bring one to turn more ever readily to the Lord in submission and abandonment. I am privileged to perceive prosperous men leading families, humble to the world of employment, active within the Church, utilizing their faith in order to embolden themselves within active lives of personal success. Within the storm of life, within the privacy of their own life, unseen for the most part, they are accomplishing something substantial. It is so diametric to the recovery world where the majority of individuals lack the ability to surrender to family, employment, or others, while always demanding attention and recognition within the church and world of recovery, constantly demanding to be perceived as superiors within their religious and secular interactions. Quick thoughts. More words from Abbot William: Over the years I was able to see how the Lord was training me. He was preparing me for something, instructing me what to do and what not to do, how to be and how not to be, as a religious, priest, monk, and superior. To move into the religious world, the mindset of anonymity within a sound psychological temperament, one incurred through hard knocks and self-knowledge, I am able to be strong within servitude, the subtlest forms of self-aggrandizement an affront to the degree they are detected, continual progress graced through an ever-growing peace and Presence.

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Contradiction

What if my silence is internal chattering?
Nervous energy, a need to babble to myself,
What if I am so tired?
Exhaustion,
Fighting sleep throughout prayer,
Sitting listening to the body,
I am still, yet still I am running,
Reacting, knee-jerking, reflexing,
The head lurches, a jolt, nervous portending,
Cater a cost to the eternal,
All our welcome amidst the enduring,
Nothing comes near,
Not even a small quiet voice,
Holding on, letting go, releasing the fight,
In order to fight stronger,
Smarter without knowing,
Delusion dominating decades,
Broadcasting a mind focused, yet wandering,
Receiving,
Nothing unfolding, unfolding within,
A steady stream, cascading water,
Ever present within Presence,
Purity, a lacking internal and external,
Peace, the removal of desire,
Apophatic, theology of negation,
No longer needing to learn while learning,
Remaining maleable,
Moments unfolding, truth revealing,
Opening a new expansion increasing,
Listening,
Please, whisper softly, answer,
Lord, who am I?
What am I to do with all this love I am harvesting?

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The Man of the House

A poem by the turn of the century Irish poet Katherine Tynan

Joseph, honored from sea to sea,
This is your name that pleases me,
“Man of the House”

I see you rise at the dawn and light
The fire and blow till the flame is bright.

I see you take the pitcher and carry
The deep well-water for Jesus and Mary.

You knead the corn for the bread so fine,
Gather them grapes from the hanging vine.

There are little feet that are soft and slow,
Follow you wherever you go.

There’s a little face at your workshop door,
A little one sits down on your floor:

Holds His hands for the shaving curled,
The soft little hands that have made the world.

Mary calls you: the meal is ready:
You swing the child to your shoulder steady.

I see your quiet smile as you sit
And watch the little Son thrive and eat.

The vine curls by the window space,
The wings of angels cover the face.

Up in the rafters, polished and olden,
There’s a Dove that broods and his wings are golden.

You who kept Them through shine and storm,
A staff, a shelter kindly and warm,

Father of Jesus, husband of Mary,
Hold us your lilies for sanctuary!

Joseph, honored from sea to sea,
Guard mine and my own roof-tree,
“Man of the House”

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Spanish vocabulary builder

En una noche oscura
con ansias en amores inflamada
¡oh dichosa ventura!
salí sin ser notada
estando ya mi casa sosegada,

One dark night,
fired with love’s urgent longings
— ah, the sheer grace! —
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.

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