Grudge imagined loss, the final pain, the endless cost, baffling, the torment of will inflicted, battling the cunning,
Children assembling puzzles, the fun not so real, always out guessing, the fractured remembrance of a breakdown, it never happen, it never was, breaking out into cascading waves, dissimulate the creature, remove the mask, resist the anger,
Skipping stones upon a crystal clear landing, the Creator, a reflection calls, the ever serene, broken bits of splashes, echoing into disorder, the unending dream, unseen, delusional capacity, criminal tenacity,
You try to run from Me, run from Me, run from Me,
You try to hide from Me, hide from Me, hide from Me,
Tripping, fenced in, a comfortable front porch, a rocking chair emptying back and forth, a lattice, crosses desperately decorating, defining dwindling boundaries, respecting truth while spitting lies,
In company, no harboring the rebel of vindication, knowing shadows, darkness aware, confident and forthright, compassion awaits, wild horses depart,
The time of many years gone by, making amends while dissolving, accumulating disintegration, something beyond someone, a drop of a dime into a wishing well,
A prayer wall forsaking weeping, emotion wallowing into detachment, desert fathers and vultures, a question spoken after the answer, the aftermath, the cleansing bath, the waiting rain,
A drop of water poured into wine, individuality lost, the remission of midnight ravens, purgatory sustained, pile on the birthing pain, enduring time after time,
Additive, it is nothing to know nothing, within the emptiness of nonexistence, within the splendid fullness, within the simple Christ.

Sometimes I feel the tears of my father, times gone by, past, present and future, needing, never satisfied, searching throughout, within,
Earthly, for real, really a longing for love all the way through, a miss, a lack of connection, self-will directed affection stock piling, remission, the accountability of sin,
Indirect desiring, a broken child upon death, lusting, a missing mother, replaced by her own mother, a tender farming grandmother, a lifelong dream of a husband, grandfather, building upon the burden of familial love, self-wills imposed, courts intervene–lawyers, guns, and money,
My father strove to love beyond the call of duty, to smother with care, to right all the wrongs inflicted, justice the highest being redeemed, a violent hard drinking father part of the reception, busted beatings charity, improper retaliation, fairness to the extreme, forgiving,
Frailties exist, brokenness unhealed, a lack of resentments not enough, subconscious and over attempts, a leaking vessel, frustrations, anger and a marriage miscued, a cold hard foreign wife, craving forgiveness, rejection once again upon Godly terms,
God’s love unknown, sins of the father return, violence rearing, chaos ensues, broken back fist pounding upon a daughter, rejection resurfaces, the whip of the beast stings hard, smacking her face, tears splashed, a bully disgracing the grace of an innocent child is one who once had his innocence defiled, the child of a truck driving alcoholic acts out,
Generation upon generation, my father was once a child, his father was once a child, his father was once a child, begat and begat and begat, all the way back to the long forgotten yet talked about garden of graves, Adam and Eve, innocence at birth known not, the eternal chore of being a parent, knowing God upon God’s terms, cloud of unknowing,
A flowering upon a tree, a new life, my father sang songs, loving the tune of cats in the cradle, teaching the best he knew how, not asking too much, while never giving less than he could, sober and human, tenacious in absolute imperfection. fortitude,
In death, I love you Dad, how could I not?

A Tanzanian priest, Father Rodger, emphasizing the curtailing of personal revelations, apparitions nothing in and of them self,
The Holy Family, triune in nature, three in one, unification within love,
Greater growth, the embellishing of others, company and coffee,
St Vincent employee, Polish infectious disease doctor’s wife, lonely on a Sunday, a good woman wanting to share her simple faith,
Talkative, nervous, hinting at failing health, beautiful, charming, a sip of fine wine for the soul,
A Philippine woman appearing often, winter coat constantly worn, diminutive in stature, a bit insane upon the kindly side speaks suddenly of profound things,
The Transfiguration, Jesus revealing, Elijah and Moses accompanying, chosen apostles witnessing, the rock and the sons of thunder observe, the anchoring of the church in formation,
Coffee, laughs and cheers, another shows sporting a red hat, in your face, radiating conservative, attacking common core, Pope Leo XIII, St Michael and Our Holy Mother placed into war, the serpent sought, triumph and the end of the world,
On to St Wendelin’s, a company of four, a Philippine congregation, mass a plenty, St Faustina reverence, kissing the image of Our Divine Lord,
A visiting Philippine priest glorifying the struggles of a glorious personal miraculous revelation, the sharing of the suffering of Our Lord, Gethsemane and the pain of prayer,
A Philippine buffet, tantalizing the palate, food galore, cheers, conversation, talk of foreign lands,
Spanish imperial overlord, Barcelona, Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família, Our Lady of Pillar, St John of the Cross, Teresa of Jesus,
Darkness cast aside, Divine Sunday be praised, fellowship, the wonders of the Church, Catholicism roars,
Driving, a buss stop, a familiar face, a Mercedarian priest, Father Justin forget public transit Metro Health calls, one lays dying, hop in, let’s explore,
Cleveland traffic, marginal neighborhoods, a favorite priest to chauffer, talk of an upcoming visit to Rome, the Mercedarian order, Spanish history, the modern rescuing from types of captivity, addicts and in hospitals, impoverished desiring mercy,
Our Lord is good in acting, Divine Mercy blessings, grateful, humble, contrite, and content,

I Am simple
Am I simple?

I Am hidden
Am I arrogant?

I Am holy
Am I holy?

I Am love
Do I love?

I Am generous
Am I satisfied?

I Am honest
Am I honest?

I Am truth
Can I Handle truth?

I Am omnipotent
Am I obedient?

I Am compassionate
Am I contrite?

I Am kind
Am I wrathful?

I Am wisdom
Am I vulnerable?

I Am merciful
Am I grateful?

I Am Your Savior
Am I Your Servant?

Heavenly desires brought low by harsh cruel fate, a car crash,
Ugliness, interior, within, broken, beaten, battered, and shattered, ten miles of bad road,
Hurting, sorrow, pleading, where is the road I follow? Lead me,
Renunciation on the morning of resurrection, birds singing upon no path, a trail always ending,
Who knows whether he deserves love or hatred?
…though Thou wast angry with me, Thy anger turned away, and Thou didst comfort me.
…”Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.”
…he took the bread and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them.
No one left, solitude, alone, perception, the Eucharist adoring, radiating, calling, healing, loving, hearts and minds made pure,
Words of consultation, calming, an old woman bedridden upon years, a century in the making,
Bright-eyed, reading, telling stories of youth, a rascally little girl recalled, innocence, prayerful, a spirit grateful, blessed with cheer, an example, a road to follow away from myself,
On into the Risen Christ, seated at the right hand of the Father, arise through, with, and in faith, hope, and charity.