The poor soul is seized with trembling in the presence of so lofty a majesty; she is terrified at her own hideous deformity and numberless offences. Whatever good she has done is hidden from her; the divine graces given her stand out in strong contrast with her sins; a terrible anguish crushes her in the presence of God’s holiness and justice; she believes herself to be all mud and filth, devoid of every virtue; it seems to her impossible that God could love so horrible an object or endure such infection; besides, was she ever worth anything? Has she not lived under a perpetual delusion ? Is she not then justly abandoned, hopelessly lost? She wishes only for God, but God seems taken away from her for ever, she is drowned in an ocean of bitterness, horribly tempted against hope. This, however, is but the vivid thrill of adoration, it is regret, shame, desire and love, not a falling away, not a back-sliding down the slope of negligence; for this soul fears the least fault more than death; she so loves God that she would sacrifice a thousand lives for His sake; in this dreadful storm faith has not foundered; the despair is only apparent, and has its seat only in the sensitive nature; it is the love of God and the fear of losing Him which subjects the soul to such a torture, and this alone should be sufficient to reassure her.

WHAT THE SAINTS HAVE THOUGHT OF MENTAL PRAYER.

They have devoted to it long hours day and night, and no argument is equal to that. Many amongst them have praised it very highly in their writings.

St. Bonaventure, quoted or analyzed by St. Peter of Alcantara, makes the following poetic eulogy of it: “If you would suffer with patience the adversities and miseries of this life, be a man of prayer. If you would obtain courage and strength to conquer the temptations of the enemy, be a man of prayer. If you would mortify your own will with all its inclinations and appetites, be a man of prayer. If you would know the wiles of Satan and unmask his deceits, be a man of prayer. If you would live in joy and walk pleasantly in the ways of penance, be a man of prayer. If you would banish from your soul the troublesome flies of vain thoughts and cares, be a man of prayer. If you would nourish your soul with the very sap of devotion, and keep it always full of good thoughts and good desires, be a man of prayer. If you would strengthen and keep up your courage in the ways of God, be a man of prayer. In fine, if you would uproot all vices from your soul and plant all virtues in their place, be a man of prayer. It is in prayer that we receive the unction and grace of the Holy Ghost, who teaches all things. I say more: if you would raise yourself to the heights of contemplation and enjoy the sweet embraces of the Spouse, practice mental prayer. It is the way by which the soul is raised to the contemplation and enjoyment of heavenly things.”  –‘The Ways of Mental Prayer’ written by RT. Rev Dom Vitalis Lehodey

The soul is therefore, set towards God; in the midst of its desolation, it has no wish for creatures, it wants God; it does not rejoice in His presence, yet has no pleasure but there; in spite of its aridities and repugnances, it thirsts after solitude; the omission of prayer would produce remorse and create a frightful void; it wants everything when it has not God.

The mind is turned towards God by only a simple, vague, confused thought, by a general and unvarying remembrance of Him. “God is not represented to the soul under any form, no words can convey the idea which she forms of Him; He is not conceived precisely as great, nor as beautiful, nor as good, nor as powerful; her idea of Him is not this, and yet it is all this; or, better still, it is something above all this. God, God. God, is the only word which the soul can utter to express her thoughts about Him.” (Abbe Auguste Saudreau) Evidently the intellect is here not much engaged, a thousand distractions beset it; but the distractions once passed away, the occupations once ended, if we want to think of God, it is always the same simple and general thought that recurs to the mind, and we can find no other.  –“The Ways of Mental Prayer” by Dom Vitalis Lehodey

We must acknowledge ourselves incapable of praying of ourselves, and invoke the Holy Ghost.- O Lord, I am not of myself capable of having a good thought, but my sufficiency is from Thee. I am not able to concentrate my thoughts if Thou dost not control them, nor to raise my heart to Thee, unless Thou dost attract it; nor to love Thee, if Thou dost not inflame me; nor to form a good resolution, still less to put it in practice, if Thou dost not give me “to will and to accomplish.” I renounce, therefore, my own thoughts, which are not capable of guiding me aright as to what concerns my salvation, and my own affections, which are wont to tend towards evil Come, then, O Divine Spirit, have compassion on my indigence, I abandon myself to Thee, in order that, illuminated, moved and guided by Thee, I may make my meditation well; come, enlighten my intelligence, inflame my heart and convert my will, that my prayer may contribute to Thy glory and to my own spiritual advancement. –“The Ways of Mental Prayer” by Dom Vitalis Lehodey

Above all, let us love solitude and recollection. We have no right, indeed, to fly from common life and the occupations which obedience enjoins; yet whilst showing ourselves obliging towards our brethren and conscientious in performing our work and the duties of our charge, let us avoid pouring ourselves forth too much on outward things and being absorbed by them; without giving way to injurious intensity of thought, let us collect within us all the powers of our soul in order to keep them attentive to God. Our model ought to be our glorious Father St. Benedict, who, on returning to his well-beloved solitude, dwelt with himself alone under the eye of the heavenly Watcher. There, shutting the doors and avenues of our soul by silence, modesty and recollection, let us make to ourselves an inner sanctuary entirely filled with God, and let us learn to entertain the infinitely great and infinitely loving Guest who dwells within us.

It is an illusion to confine our prayer to one small corner of the day, and afterwards to think no more about it. No doubt it produces at the very time it is made a part of its effect; the mind is enlightened, affections and petitions are made, all which has its own value; but this pious exercise does not yield us all its fruit, unless it results in a practical resolution which corresponds to our needs, and which dwells in the memory in order to be put in practice. A prayer, which does not result in this, is like a remedy that is never applied, an instrument that is never used, a sword that remains in the scabbard.

In fine, it is an illusion to take scrupulosity for delicacy of conscience and its futile pre-occupations for a good prayer. On the contrary, this is one of the greatest obstacles to union with God; an obstacle, because it hinders tranquility of mind and attention to God; an obstacle, because it contracts the heart with sadness, stifles confidence and love, paralyses the will, inclines us to fly from God. Besides, what prayer can there be in a heart tossed about by scruples? Instead of adoring, it is examining its conscience; instead of thanking, it is probing its sores, it asks no pardon, it is too busy investigating its guilt, it begs for no grace, it is too much occupied in self-inspection. It has not then made any prayer, it was too busy with self to have any time to speak to God; or, if it has done so, it was a prayer without confidence, without any expanding of the heart; fear has banished the familiar intercourse of prayer, anxieties have destroyed calm and peace. Scrupulosity is not repentance, it is merely trouble; it is not delicacy of conscience, but its unhealthy counterfeit.

“The Ways of Mental Prayer” written by Rev. Dom Vitalis Lehodey

This Cistercian’s writing has always penetrated deep. His voice elevates my aspirations. In my mind, he thrived in the monastic life, an example, a pillar. The monastic life I have always viewed as something set apart.

How (can we) explain this conduct on the part of Divine Providence? It is because there are really two people in each of us. “Divine love and self-love live in our hearts, as Jacob and Esau in the womb of Rebecca. These two are irreconcilably opposed to each other, and are always in conflict. ‘ Thou hast two nations in thy womb,’ said the Lord to Rebecca, ‘ and two peoples shall be divided out of thy womb, and one people shall overcome the other, and the elder shall serve the younger ‘ (Gen., xxv, 23). The soul similarly has two loves in her heart, and consequently two distinct colonies of movements, affections and passions. And just as Rebecca’s two infants, by the contrariety of their movements, caused their mother painful convulsions, so the two loves in the soul keep our hearts in a state of trouble and unrest. But it is necessary, here also, that the elder shall serve the younger, that is to say, that sensual love shall be subjected to the love Of God.” (St Francis de Sales)

Self-love manifests itself by the horror of suffering, the seeking after enjoyment, and particularly by pride. Hence arises that intestine war of which the Apostle complains, a war that is always fierce and persistent, but more violent in the case of certain persons, or with regard to certain objects, or at certain ages, certain times, or on certain occasions. Even in those who have made some progress in spirituality there is usually a hidden fund of self-love, a delicate, almost imperceptible pride, whence issue a swarm of imperfections of which they are hardly conscious: vain self-complacencies, vain fears, vain desires, conceited manners, suspicions criticisms of others, an entire world of miseries, weaknesses’ and peccadilloes. What, then, is the remedy? Assuredly’ Christian mortification. To this, therefore, we must devote ourselves, and we must practice it with perseverance and method, relying on the assistance of grace. But sometimes we shall not have sufficient light, and sometimes our courage will fail us; and we shall never completely vanquish this almost invisible foe, which forms a part of ourselves, unless God comes to our aid by the action of His Providence.

He has two ways of doing this: the way of sweetness and the of holy severity. When a soul begins to give Herself to Him, He favors her with an abundance of sensible consolations, in order to draw her to Himself and to wean her away from worldly pleasures. She detaches herself little by little from creatures and clings to God, but in an imperfect manner. For it is the common failing of such unformed souls to seek their own satisfaction in everything they do. And divine consolations are precisely the most delicate nourishment both of pride and of spiritual gluttony. By the subtle artifices of self- love, we appropriate the gifts of God; we are happy to be in this or that state; and instead of thanking therefore God’s infinite mercy, we attribute our happiness to our own merit, at least in the secret sentiments of our hearts. Therefore, in order to complete the destruction of self- love, God Himself must deal it many a hard blow through interior trials. These blows will be painful, indeed, but infallibly effective.

‘Holy Abandonment’ by Reverend Abbot Dom Vitalis Lehodey O.C.R (Trappist)