Catholic

Corpus Christi novena

O Lord, You have given us this Sacred Banquet, in which Christ is received, the memory of His Passion is renewed, the mind is filled with grace, and a pledge of future glory is given to us You have given them bread from Heaven. Having all sweetness within.

The Holy Spirit novena progressed into such a powerful effort, another novena erupts in procession.  Corpus Christi novena has been ignited, a celebration leading to the Feast day of Corpus Christi, the body of Christ, the Eucharist, present through, with, and in the Catholic Church, brought into birth through the tabernacle of Mary.

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Opening Myself

Neither the gravity of their faults nor their multiple relapses into errors should overwhelm them…..

Nothing is more just than that the evidence of our own misery keeps us humble. That it should make us lose confidence would be a catastrophe more dangerous than so many falls into error.

Weakness is great, I well know, but He will help you. In spite of having goodwill, you will perhaps have falls and relapses into evil, but the Lord is merciful. He only asks that you not let yourself fall asleep in sin, that you fight against bad habits.

Promise Him to confess promptly and never to pass through a night with a mortal sin on your conscience….

“Father,” He exclaims in the anguish of the agony. “forgive them, for they know not what they do.” During the passion, the Master had such a desire to save us that He did not cease for an instant to think of us.

On Calvary, He gives His last gaze to sinners; He pronounces one of His last words in favor of the good thief. He extends His arms wide on the Cross in order to indicate with what love He receives each repentant soul in His most loving heart.

The Book of Confidence’, Father Thomas de Saint-Laurentcover_book_of_confidence (1)

There is an honesty to these thoughts that needs examining. I think of a decision I enforced to break with an online influence who declared his prayers for those still purifying. Effeminate in nature, overly-sensitive and most impassionate about being perceived as an extremely intelligent individual, I tolerated his imperfections as he was quite perceptive and insightful regarding religious matters. Yet the declaration that he prayed for those still purifying forced me to acknowledge he worked through a delusional spiritual mindset that could be dangerous. Those religiously interacting with others based upon a self-perceived superiority may provide moments of extreme knowledge, yet I become more and more fixated upon the Trinity, the Church, and those submissive in authority. Too many religious authorities have let me down. With all due respect to everyone, I place my confidence, in faith, hope, and charity, upon the Trinity (contemplative unification) and a prayerful personal relationship with Mary and the Saints.

The idea of spiritual confidence emerges essential in spiritual growth, my personal path of contemplative pursuit. The Fort Wayne reconciliation proved quite complex, fortunate to be experienced. I will process everything through my spiritual director, open to counsel, pleased it will be with a spiritually humble individual that will call forth confidence in myself. Rather than establishing himself as my superior, he seeks to strengthen and elevate my spiritual life. My spiritual director stresses the importance of empowerment, independence, fearless courage to exert myself, while always accepting the possibility I may be wrong. In fact, I will be wrong often, yet that is ok. It is nothing to fear. I act strongly, while remaining vulnerable. Personal victory and/or glorification is not the reward. In the midst of warfare, I acknowledge limitations, fearful of delusional individuals clinging to self-protection, afraid of being wrong, unable to deal with brutal honesty. For myself, to learn to fight for myself through confidence is a gigantic step on the natural level.

Regarding sin, the battle is evermore. I will stumble, yet even worse is to lose courage, to forego confidence in the mercy of the Lord. He did not sacrifice His life in order for me to crush myself through guilt, or to grow arrogant, proud, and delusional within my Catholicism. He gave His life because he knew my weakness, because he truly loved in perfection. A warrior for Christ is not one who rationalizes victory, or seeks righteousness through the perceptions of others. Rather a warrior for Christ is one willing to acknowledge he is immersed within a battle he can never win based upon his own accord. Lord, I will fight for You, yet You know how wrong I can be. Know that I am trying, yet I keep falling and falling, sometimes barely even able to crawl. I will place confidence in my faith and hope, abandoning fear, unafraid to make attempts to be the man You want me to be.

You know my mortal weaknesses: drunkenness and lust. The drunkenness, You have defeated, myself remaining awestruck by alcohol’s power over me. Not for a second can I forget the depravity it inflicted upon my soul and life. If indulged, alcohol has unreserved mastery over me. I am truly powerless over alcohol. The lust I also admit absolute powerlessness over. I am so confused, entangled within years of waywardness. Celibate for decades, my mind is awful in fantasy, redirecting stress, subconscious dilemmas, and loneliness into poor behavior. You know how it breaks my spirit, crushes me, and humbles me. The humbling I accept, acknowledging it is virtuous in clearly demonstrating I am human. Defeat, I will not accept. I take confidence in Your mercy, knowing your insight into my heart, establishing fortitude and the awareness of the gradualness of proper perfecting. It hurts me deeply to offend You. I know I can never hide from You. You know, I pray for a wife, proper courting, not for lust–physicality completely usurped by healthy Christian contemplative companionship. Proper healing, to soothe away the years of being alone, improper thoughts, unrequited longings, through the sanctifying sacrament of marriage. My former spiritual partner, I was proper in longing, offering celibacy, desiring truly Catholic unity, a husband and wife joined through, with and in the Church. I have been through too much to find pleasure in teenage relationships, broken childish games; confused, complex, aimless immature, self-willed sickness regarding male/female interactions, even if draped in the guise of spiritual companionship, I reject spiritually perverse relationships. Through strength and relentlessness, I stand upon Your mercy. Prayerful, Lord I plead for spiritually and emotionally mature women to interact with. In sincere Christian friendship and fellowship, I desire purposeful women to enter and remain within my life. Do You Lord want me for religious service? I am utterly confused, yet not overwhelmed, willing to repose with confidence in faith, hope, and charity. Let the future come forth.

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Supreme Confidence

O voice of Christ, mysterious voice of grace that resoundeth in the silence of our souls, Thou murmurest in the depths of our hearts words of sweetness and of peace. In response to our miseries, Thou repeated the counsel so often given by the Divine Master during His mortal life: “Confidence, Confidence!”….Saint Thomas Aquinas defines confidence: a hope fortified by solid conviction…confidence has its source and root in faith..sacred writers designated these two virtues (faith and hope) by the same word: fides.

……

Your souls wounded by misfortune, do not murmur over the abandonment in which you find yourselves reduced. God does not ask of you a sensible joy, impossible to your weakness. Just rekindle your faith, have courage, and, according to the expression dear to St Francis de Sales, in the “innermost point of your soul”, try to have joy.

Providence will eventually give you the right sign by which you shall recognize Its hour; It deprived you of all support. Now is the moment to resist the distress of nature. You have reached that hour in the office of the interior of the soul in which you should sing the Magnificat and put incense to burn. “Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I say, rejoice…The Lord is nigh!” Follow this counsel, you will feel the benefit of it.

–‘The Book of Confidence’, Father Thomas de Saint-Laurent

Magnificat

“My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has regarded the low estate of his handmaiden. For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is on those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm, he has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts, he has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted those of low degree; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity for ever.”

the-book-of-confidence-12

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Apostolic Succession

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Jesus said to his disciples:
“When the Advocate comes whom I will send you from the Father,
the Spirit of truth that proceeds from the Father,
he will testify to me.
And you also testify,
because you have been with me from the beginning.

“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.
He will not speak on his own,
but he will speak what he hears,
and will declare to you the things that are coming.
He will glorify me,
because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.
Everything that the Father has is mine;
for this reason I told you that he will take from what is mine
and declare it to you.”

Gospel of John 15:26-27, 16:12-15

 

Pope John Paul II

Pope John Paul II

 

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Catechism on the Holy Spirit and pre-Pentecost Meandering

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“No one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.” Now God’s Spirit, who reveals God, makes known to us Christ, his Word, his living Utterance, but the Spirit does not speak of himself. The Spirit who “has spoken through the prophets” makes us hear the Father’s Word, but we do not hear the Spirit himself. We know him only in the movement by which he reveals the Word to us and disposes us to welcome him in faith. The Spirit of truth who “unveils” Christ to us “will not speak on his own.” Such properly divine self-effacement explains why “the world cannot receive [him], because it neither sees him nor knows him,” while those who believe in Christ know the Spirit because he dwells with them…

Fire. While water signifies birth and the fruitfulness of life given in the Holy Spirit, fire symbolizes the transforming energy of the Holy Spirit’s actions. The prayer of the prophet Elijah, who “arose like fire” and whose “word burned like a torch,” brought down fire from heaven on the sacrifice on Mount Carmel. This event was a “figure” of the fire of the Holy Spirit, who transforms what he touches. John the Baptist, who goes “before [the Lord] in the spirit and power of Elijah,” proclaims Christ as the one who “will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” Jesus will say of the Spirit: “I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled!” In the form of tongues “as of fire,” the Holy Spirit rests on the disciples on the morning of Pentecost and fills them with himself The spiritual tradition has retained this symbolism of fire as one of the most expressive images of the Holy Spirit’s actions. “Do not quench the Spirit.”

–Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Other authentically defined symbols of the Holy Spirit: water, anointing, cloud and light (touched on in yesterdays post), the seal, the hand, the finger, lastly and most commonly the dove.

Personal meandering:

All glory to God, an exhilarating Memorial Day weekend awaits. Settling into a new home, I feel blessed. The Holy Spirit novena comes to a close with Pentecostal celebration posed for exaltation. The Holy Spirit kisses upon the forehead, gradually acquiring a taste for nothing but the Divine, imperfections providing humility, the reality of so much further to transcend. I sit patiently, biting upon the chomp. I still get a headache sometimes from so many thoughts assailing. A stomach ache and severe hurting of the soul when a certain someone plays upon my mind. Speaking to my spiritual director, he became agitated, insisting that I had to slow down. I was throwing so many things at him within moments, he became overwhelmed. He tries to keep things simple, while I just explode with thoughts, aspirations, dementations, interpretations–an overall vomiting of thoughts and concerns. I asked a priest if a certain personal battle, lust, would ever cease, admitting there are certain battles I feel I will never win. He responded well of course they will end, approximately three or four days after your death. In other words, evermore will I contend. Human, I am. So I have a mind that races, excited, continually pursuing battles, and achievements. Matters that really amount to nothing, wasting time has been a specialty for years. My spiritual director stated you have a rich interior life. It was not a compliment, rather a challenge. Now what to do? Centering myself at St Paul’s Shrine has become intrinsic, something I cannot avoid. Today before mass I was so excited to share news with Sister Clare Marie. She feels I brought to much food last week, worrying I will do the same in the near future. I waved to her to approach, before the Eucharist, and she responded reluctantly. I always love her reticent way of approaching me, internally I imagine her thinking, ‘now, what is he up to? I have to be careful around this one.’ I said, ‘Sister, I am going to bring something very special tomorrow. Can you guess?” I knew she would be thinking in terms of food. She responded questionably “donuts”, unspoken stating do not bring too much food this week. “My mother”, I declared. She smiled, cooing, “That is good”. My mother will attend mass tomorrow with me at St Paul’s. I will drive over a hundred miles one way in order to bring her back to Cleveland with me. I am so excited. There are many profound reasons why this is so important, essential to spiritual blossoming. It will be an incredible day. The following day, Memorial Day, I will return to the friary, reconciling with Father David Mary. At least, that is my intention, may God’s will be supporting, the Holy Spirit providing and abiding. I am writing this moment upon my new front porch. I love Cleveland Heights, the hipster neighborhood as I have identified it. There are two black men helping the oriental homeowner next door restore his rental property. Basketball talking, the Cavs discussing, people are a blast to encounter. A morning of shopping at Coventry, poetry books, a mystery, a spiritual biography purchased, cold coffee drank and a consignment store explored makes for pleasantries. I enjoy being around the younger generation, millennials as they are tagged. My son in Ann Arbor I place into the category. Aware, socially conscious, penetrating in their ambition to embrace life in a choke hold, I find them inspiring to share life with. I just read an interview with Bob Dylan in the AARP magazine in which he states passion is the pursuit of young people. To live based upon passion, an exterior life lived through others, as an aging man is to ask for trouble. ‘You might just get seriously hurt’, Bob Dylan firmly states, in a way only he can. Wisdom is the aim for those advanced in age. Allowing the absorbing of all surrounding, forgiving and loving, rising above all other needs and interpretations. I think of my former spiritual partner, imagining she is once again perusing single websites, focused upon dating, the bringing in of others as if exterior efforts that never worked in the past will bring in some new experience that will allow the living of life to attain a deeper meaning. Unable to ever truly conduct an adult Catholic romantic relationship with another, the absolute consummation of dating will dominate her mind.  Living like a teenager when one is older is really superficial, sad, a blocking of the necessity of developing an interior life based upon prayer, a truly contemplative approach embracing pain, boredom, and shame unable to be accomplished. Others must call forth compassion. We must truly become prayerful if we are to age properly. To create depth we must be willing to become empty, to truly develop the ability to sit still contently, contritely silent in thought and deed, adoring while absorbing who we truly are, and what the Trinity truly presents. Forcing, exerting perverse self-will, constantly attempting to fill, using people as entertainment, while unable to attain, share, intimate Catholic depth, is spiritually stifling, a sign of inadequacies and deprivation. I am still amazed how many people find it necessary to establish their spiritual life based upon their interactions with others. If only I can impress this one with my thoughts, acumen, and knowledge. Seeking sweet consolations through interaction with others becomes everything. What else could there possibly be? Lacking an interior life, one’s hope becomes centered in others. I think of this afternoon’s communal Rosary, Divine Mercy, and extensive offertory vocal prayer session and my holy Philippine friend lamenting, loudly going into a tirade regarding family members who constantly disrespect her, stab her in the back with gossip, and overall cause her extreme strife in their inability to properly conduct themselves before God. I smile inside thinking: Mary must have had a difficult time with relatives this week. I look to the Eucharist, envisioning the Holy Spirit hovering above, God, the Father sitting eternal. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and forever shall be. World without end. I have also discovered Shaker Lake, a fine park for walking. The body and exercise being central to the foreshadowing of sun and a plentiful summer. This week I started a new experience, praying, worried a bit to venture too far away from that which has proven to work, I employed what proved to be the pleasure of participating in a yoga class. It was nice. I will return weekly. I exchanged wonderful e-mails with the instructor, identifying and respecting personal paths, separate pursuits to the divine, together with others, we will share in trying to get the best out of this personal temple God splendidly graced. I was pleased to receive approval from my spiritual director regarding the effort. Passing by, a wonderful family of three walking daughters, a mother pushing the fourth, an infant, in a stroller just meandered past. The Cleveland Heights neighborhood is really working. An amusing moment after the yoga session. A woman walked with me to my car, telling me about her familiarity with yoga. I observed her during the session noticing her agreeable disposition. I could not identify her accent, a strange inflection coloring her words. I asked her if she possessed a foreign accent. She answered, ‘No, I am hearing impaired. It causes me to speak strangely’. Something about the way she stated the words made me laugh, which brought a smile to her face. She said ‘I was also raised in Boston, kind of a foreign country, yet that was years ago’. People are pleasing, smiling forward on into the contemplative I saunter. Others are a means of sharing, an investment accentuating the prayerful life.  Two teenage punk rock girls, one with blue hair, just passed, one walking two large Great Danes.

The two great commandments that contain the whole law of God are:

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind, and with thy whole strength;

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

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The Holy Spirit gift of Wisdom

Then Moses went up on the mountain, and the cloud covered the mountain. The glory of the LORD settled on Mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days; and on the seventh day he called to Moses out of the midst of the cloud. Now the appearance of the glory of the LORD was like a devouring fire on the top of the mountain in the sight of the people of Israel. And Moses entered the cloud, and went up on the mountain. And Moses was on the mountain forty days and forty nights…  –Exodus

He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has fixed by his own authority.  But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Sama’ria and to the end of the earth.”  And when he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight.  And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”  —Acts of the Apostles  

Holy Spirit Novena eighth day (EWTN)

Bend the stubborn heart and will,
melt the frozen,
warm the chill.
Guide the steps that go astray!

WISDOM: Embodying all the other gifts, as charity embraces all the other virtues, Wisdom is the most perfect of the gifts. Of wisdom it is written “all good things came to me with her, and innumerable riches through her hands.” It is the gift of Wisdom that strengthens our faith, fortifies hope, perfects charity, and promotes the practice of virtue in the highest degree. Wisdom enlightens the mind to discern and relish things divine, in the appreciation of which earthly joys lose their savor, whilst the Cross of Christ yields a divine sweetness according to the words of the Saviour: “Take up thy cross and follow me, for my yoke is sweet and my burden light.

Come, O Spirit of Wisdom, and reveal to my soul the mysteries of heavenly things, their exceeding greatness, power and beauty. Teach me to love them above and beyond all the passing joys and satisfactions of earth. Help me to attain them and possess them for ever. Amen.

Mary: Sedes Sapientiae (“The Throne of Wisdom”)

Sedes Sapientiae: Mary the Throne of Wisdom

Sedes Sapientiae: Mary the Throne of Wisdom

 

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Trinity and Mary

And the angel said to her (Mary), “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.” –Gospel of Luke

coronation of mary

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