Video
Inventory and some music
A birthday comes and years pass. I feel my age, comfortable with life, interiorly reposing into a life of sobriety and the pursuit of God. Many details demand further definition, yet I do not allow fear to command. I know who I am and my self-knowledge penetrates further. Gratitude, a sense of extreme blessing extended over a subtle time, the realization kisses on a birthday, following with the whispering: ‘you did not marvel that concupiscence has been lifted, the blinding of lust removed’. The voice chuckling, continuing in the tone of Mary: ‘You have always been such an odd one. Be happy. You have been given a great grace.’ My spiritual exercises expand, settling into profound ritual, guided by the Eucharist. On my birthday, I received an authoritative welcoming email from the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament that intrigues. The August 1st date is more than I anticipated. There will be a continental breakfast followed by a full eight hour day of instruction, concluding with mass. The curriculum is defined:
1. Eucharist as Nourishment and Reconciliation
2. Eucharist as Transformation
3. Eucharist as Abiding Presence Calling Us to Mission
I discern with respect and admiration the gradual process of the organization becoming a reality of worship and service. My initial reaction that it is a group of mature pursuers of faith impassions, yet I temper, trusting in patience, allowing my imagination not to run away from God. I think of the words of Teresa of Avila.
… (If) this soul (a seasoned practitioner) invariably followed the will of God, it is clear that it would not be lost. But the devil comes with his artful wiles, and, under colour of doing good, sets about undermining it in trivial ways, and involving it in practices which, so he gives it to understand, are not wrong; little by little he darkens its understanding, and weakens its will, and causes its self-love to increase, until in one way and another he begins to withdraw it from the love of God and to persuade it to indulge its own wishes. –Interior Castle
I visited with my friend, Jan Marie, owner of the Marian Catholic bookstore. Her prayer room is a holy space, a Thin place. A Thin Place is a space in which the veil between heaven and earth is greatly reduced, allowing the light of heaven to shine on through to the realm of time and space. It is an Irish term, referring to the wonders of nature: mountaintops, waterfalls, an ocean with the sun rising or setting above, and sacred places. St Paul’s Shrine is a Thin Place.
My friend gave me a packed envelope of things she gathered for me. She collects Catholic antiquities and stuff of all kinds. I do not know where she gets all the items. She has quite a reputation. People bring her stuff while closing estates, and in other such ways she comes across amazing stuff. Within her offerings was a novena. I liked its aged look. I took it into St Paul’s for further inspection during mass. Reading it before mass, I realized the totality of what it was. It was a Perpetual Novena in honor of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal from 1936 as put together by the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration at St Paul’s. That would have been fifteen years after the Catholic diocese under Bishop Scremps, and the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration under Mother Mary Agnes Eichler purchased the church for the settlement of Poor Clares at Euclid and 40th Street. During the Millionaire Row days of Euclid Avenue the church was an evangelical church.
I showed the precious Novena to an extern sister who immediately grasped it as hers, or more properly the convents, exclaiming Mother Agnes. I laughed to myself thinking I was only showing it to her, however now it is obvious I am giving it to her. I did not mind since there were two in the envelope. I scolded myself a bit for not thinking of giving it to her in the first place. I did have two of them why would I not share one. In truth, beyond scolding, I was so stunned by the find I was just showing her out of amazement. I never expected her to become so excited. Pleasant experience.
On to the physical conditioning aspect, the natural arising to match the spiritual, I am in the tenth day of the Master Cleanse diet, determining I am going to continue. I will cease the fast when deemed appropriate. Right now all aspects appeal immensely. I will be running a 5K August 8th, speaking of Millionaires Row. The urban running course will start at Garden View Park passing through the historic Rockefeller Park and the Cleveland Cultural Gardens then through the historic East Boulevard neighborhood. It should be a thrill.
While putting this together, I heard a song that captivated. I watched the video amazed. How can one watch the beginning and not be left spellbound by the wonder of God, the vigor and determination of life to be born. Utterly astounding, the hairs on my neck stood in joy, my heart marveling at the sovereignty, grandeur, and majesty of God.
I recognized the song playing on Pandora to be a cover of this original by Iron and Wine, a Sam Beam song. Listen to these words. A quaint cozy love song is something never to shirk away from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYWymG9fSs
Reposing within the herd
Viewed an interesting movie ‘Au Hasard Balthazar” by the French master Robert Bresson–Diary of a Country Priest and The Trial of Joan of Arc. Simple images and ideas revolving around being human within a community suffering the loss of faith, the existence of the seven deadly sins, and eventually the disintegration of individuals involved in futile, frustrating, manipulative selfish relationships. Balthazar, a name originating with the gift-bearing magi, is a donkey, a heart-warming symbol of faith, hope, and charity. Marie, the central figure, as a child begs her father to purchase the baby donkey. The animal is adorable with infant fur, awkward legs, and a bashful nursing nature. The beast of burden is vulnerability and innocence embodied. The children possessing a zest for life baptize their darling donkey in a staged sacred ceremony, naming their wonder Balthazar. As the years pass, everyone suffers. Marie becomes a complicated angst filled young woman, unable to love, attached to wayward social activity, losing respect for her father, a man of no solutions in his demand for honor while enduring stubborn aimless poverty–suffering impurely through pride, Balthazar is Marie’s only outlet for love. The final scene, accompanied by a Schubert sonata, presents the death of Balthazar. The delinquent Gerard torturing and deviously influencing Marie throughout the film, absconds with Balthazar, utilizing the donkey for criminal activity. Definitive, once the spoiled Gerard receives a portable hand radio and motorbike loud French rock-n-roll follows him throughout the film. Whenever we watch Gerard we hear the influence of pop culture. During the black market smuggling diabolical, Balthazar is shot. Gerard and accomplices flee into the darkness of a surrounding forest. Balthazar’s death is a black and white meditative dance upon the screen as a flock of sheep, guide dogs, and a shepherd venture upon his dying. Upon the big screen, as intended to be seen, the scene is mesmerizing in beauty juxtaposed to all the preceding confusion and travesties.
Today’s reading fit nicely into the theme of the herd, expanding beyond to the duty of shepherds.
Woe to the shepherds who mislead and scatter the flock of My pasture…You have scattered my sheep and driven them away. You have not cared for them, but I will take care to punish your evil deeds. I myself will gather the remnant of my flock from all the lands to which I have driven them and bring them back to their meadow; there they shall increase and multiply. I will appoint shepherds for them who will shepherd them so that they need no longer fear and tremble, and none shall be missing… —Jeremiah 2
The LORD is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want. —Psalm 23
Responsibility and fellowship
Post-mass, after a Holy Hour–day three of Our Lady Undoer of Knots novena, I walked into conversation with friends talking in the lobby. One was a gentleman I enjoy through recovery efforts and a mutual enthusiasm for the Cavaliers. I had not seen him in a while so I wanted to extend fellowship. Friendly, well-intended, joyful in nature, the conversation steered into strange areas: theological issues, the questioning of a saint, critical evaluation of the younger generation. Subjects in truth of great depth casually explored as if discussing a sporting or entertainment event . The last topic touched deeply as I have been thinking and praying a lot regarding my son and his friends—millennials. All matters reaffirm my stalwart conviction that as a contemplative my strength is my prayer life. The EUCHARIST healing, strengthening, providing is my source and literal Savior. My daily Holy Hour is my solace, refuge, the time of complete immersion within the Divine. Interaction with others is delicate. Conversation is a seductive lady desiring to become a mistress. Fickle in nature, seeking entertainment, sensationalism and immediate gratification, depth exist not within her lairs. Conversation must be guarded, the option of presenting myself a fool, or lacking knowledge, more lucrative than the shameful glory of admiration. There are those who can lift, authentic in their defenses against casualness and the desire to say too many words about subjects best left alone. It was funny that a name was mentioned, the owner of a wonderful Catholic bookstore, an authentic individual I have lost contact with. Bible studies were being discussed and the comment was put forth that this woman declares NO Bible study unless a priest is present. I always admire her insight. She is stern, trending toward the ultra-conservative, possibly tagged with a touch of scrupulosity, yet for myself I always feel secure discussing religious matters with her. She does not treat the religious life as a source of entertainment. I called her this morning simply for conversation. She lifted my spirits. We must lift one another, not draining energy. My friend in Christ is a safe haven amidst a world of complexities. I also spoke with an uplifting friend on the telephone who discussed, not complaining, discerning insight, about her difficulty after mass when a gentleman who as she put it dumped on her, speaking to her about his problems, blaming everyone in his life for his struggles. She also took a friend to a shrine for healing mass, only to be saddled with a miserable person for the day, an individual who gave her a headache with his negativity. I am convinced we must not be casual or rough upon each other during times of seeking sanctifying grace. I also bring this all forth to point out a concern for my son and his friends. I enjoyed my time with them immensely. They are young adults of depth. They basically think of themselves as atheist, definitely nonChristian, spiritual in the sense of not subscribing to a single way of thought, embracing all wisdom, rejecting all categories, titles, and prejudices. They are intelligent, tackling life with vigor; adventurous, intelligent and compassionate in caring for others. Absolutely non-Catholic in commitment, moral and ethical, hard-working and responsible, I am convinced I engaged healthy and spiritually maturing individuals in my millennial experience. Abiding to mysteries, holding to my love of Mary, the Saints, and the Trinity—to Truth, the Fullness of Truth, knowing Truth is Truth, I pray engaging my contemplative efforts to the conversion of my son and his friends. I am convinced I must be a true man of spiritual depth, an authentic imitator of Christ to influence the millennials. My bookstore owner friend holds a prayer group every second of the month. We rise at five AM, praying three mysteries of the Rosary for the conversion of the world. What an extremely noble pursuit, yet even more an extremely difficult one. May our desire for the conversion of the world arise from love, through charity we must reach out. The need to dominate, shallowness, or casualness—the lack of personal development, unable to respect, nor admire the God given attributes and intelligence of non-Catholics just will not work, and most unChrist-like it does not ascend from love, compassion and the desire for all that is of God to return to God. Through the attaining of depth, through prayer amassing love within us, let us become channels of God’s peace, love, and understanding. Authentically, an individual others, those advancing/maturing in non-Catholic ways, can look to and admire. Let them see us conducting behavior and a prayer life, a devotion to the Eucharist that inspires them, allowing their natural affinity for truth to say I want to try that—a religion of attraction rather than promotion. Let Our Holy Mother speak through us, rather than our desire for personal ascension to mutter words about holy ideals. NonCatholics can be smart, many smarter than us, let us not rely upon reason and cleverness when approaching them. Once again, as in all things, let us draw forth from faith, hope, and charity. More Dr Nichta wisdom, pointing to scripture, respecting his many years of seminary study, focuses upon the story of the rich young man who comes to Jesus, declaring his admiration and desire to follow Our Lord. Jesus, able to penetrate hearts and minds, looks to the young man, posing a challenge, declaring first he must give up all possessions. Attached, the young man possessing great wealth, cannot abide. He walks away. Dr Nichta stresses the importance of recognizing the respect and dignity Jesus presents to the young man, permitting self-will and personal choice when he allows the young man to walk away. Simply, he offers a choice. Consider his divine persona, words, and glorious disposition that must have attracted to the extreme. To garner the individual attention of Jesus, a one-on-one conversation, must have been intense to the highest degree, a moment of complete self-awareness, spiritual fulfillment immediately at hand. The young man was offered a choice within a few words. He chose to remain attached, walking away. Jesus did not follow the young man berating him, declaring his lack of wisdom, deriding his lack of insight, overwhelming him with reasons and arguments why he made the wrong decision. Jesus was not consumed with being recognized as right over all other choices. He simply allowed the rich young man to walk away. It is a decisive moment to contemplate—a demonstration of the profoundness of personal choice.
Dedication
An outright dedication, this post is for Lauren.
Waiting for a Superman
Lyrics By Iron and Wine
I asked you a question and I didn’t need you to reply
Is it getting heavy?
But then I realize, is it getting heavy
Well, I thought it was already as heavy as can be
Is it overwhelming to use a crane to crush a fly?
It’s a good time for Superman to lift the sun into the sky
‘Cause it’s getting heavy
Well, I thought it was already as heavy as can be
Tell everybody waiting for Superman
That they should try to hold on the best they can
He hasn’t dropped them, forgot them or anything
It’s just too heavy for a Superman to lift
Is it getting heavy?
Well, I thought it was already as heavy as can be
Tell everybody waiting for Superman
That they should try to hold on the best they can
He hasn’t dropped them, forgot them or anything
It’s just too heavy for a Superman to lift
Before trivializing the lyrics see them in the light of Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophy on the Overman or Superman. We live in a world of aspiring, faltering, Supermen and Superwomen. Individuals that believe they can do everything for themselves; taking themselves, their passions, pleasures, identities, and thoughts with the upmost seriousness. Those of faith trying to take everything upon themselves, or thinking another can relieve the onus of life. A contemplative living a life lacking prayer, forcing everything through sheer determined self-will. The gentle soft touch of Iron and Wine, Sam Beam, imploring that really Superman hasn’t failed, it’s just too damn heavy to lift is really quite profound, beautiful when so finely sung. My son just text me informing me he thinks someone else wrote the song. LOL, a reminder sometimes being wrong is more spiritually advantageous than being right. The video is expressive in its dismal take on an existential Christmas season, a complete emptiness of hope for those waiting on a superman.
Zarathustra
“Behold, I teach you the overman (Superman). The overman is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the overman shall be the meaning of the earth! I beseech you, my brothers, remain faithful to the earth, and do not believe those who speak to you of otherworldly hopes! Poison-mixers are they, whether they know it or not. Despisers of life are they, decaying and poisoned themselves, of whom the earth is weary: so let them go.
“Once the sin against God was the greatest sin; but God died, and these sinners died with him. To sin against the earth is now the most dreadful thing, and to esteem the entrails of the unknowable higher than the meaning of the earth.
….
“I love those who do not first seek behind the stars for a reason to go under and be a sacrifice, but who sacrifice themselves for the earth, that the earth may someday become the overman’s (superman’s).
From Book 1, Zarathustra’s Prologue, 4
The context in which the Overman or Superman is to be judged to be such is implied by Neitzsche’s previous works. He maintained that all human behavior is motivated by the will to power. In its positive sense, the will to power is not simply power over others, but the power over oneself that is necessary for creativity. Supermen are those who have overcome man – i.e. the individual self – and subliminated the will to power into a momentous creativity.
Supermen are creators of a “master morality” that reflects the strength and independence of one who is liberated from all values, except those that he deems valid. Such power is manifested in independence, creativity, and originality.
Nietzsche saw the Superman as the answer to the nihilistic rejection of all religious and moral principles that would be consequent on a widespread acceptance that God is dead. The Superman being the exemplar of true humanity.
Nietzsche’s philosophical concepts were often concerned with areas that came within the interest of the emerging school of Existentialism and came to the particular notice of numerous thinkers, writers, and theologians who were themselves broadly interested in Existentialism. Amongst these are Karl Jaspers, Martin Heidegger, Martin Buber, Paul Tillich, Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre.
Here is hope transcending, waiting upon a vibrant faith, nurturing pure charity–the remnants of a proper sacrificial salvific parting.
Veni Creator Spiritus Holy Gifts
Consider suffering
I am immensely enjoying Henry Suso’s ‘The Life of The Servant’. Spiritually directing, the work also possesses an entertaining value I associate to a finely written novel. The adventures, or better yet the misadventures, of the eternal servant insightfully remind me of two classic novels Voltaire’s ‘Candide’ and Jerzy Kosinski’s ‘The Painted Bird’. Ideas on suffering are the bonding element. Suso’s servant of eternal wisdom, the fourteenth century German Dominican preaching friar, should never wander away from his friary. Every time he parts from the protection of the religious order calamities of every and all kinds assail him: accused of being a well poisoner, arrested for being a wax thief, religious superiors attacking him, a shameful sister, tribulation during travel with an infamous murderer, a near fatal winter plunge into an icy river—the disasters never cease. I think of St Francis’ idea of perfect joy from the Fioretti or Little Flowers:
“Father, I pray thee teach me wherein is perfect joy.” St Francis answered: “If, when we shall arrive at St Mary of the Angels, all drenched with rain and trembling with cold, all covered with mud and exhausted from hunger; if, when we knock at the convent-gate, the porter should come angrily and ask us who we are; if, after we have told him, ‘We are two of the brethren’, he should answer angrily, ‘What ye say is not the truth; ye are but two impostors going about to deceive the world, and take away the alms of the poor; begone I say’; if then he refuse to open to us, and leave us outside, exposed to the snow and rain, suffering from cold and hunger till nightfall – then, if we accept such injustice, such cruelty and such contempt with patience, without being ruffled and without murmuring, believing with humility and charity that the porter really knows us, and that it is God who maketh him to speak thus against us, write down, O Brother Leo, that this is perfect joy. And if we knock again, and the porter come out in anger to drive us away with oaths and blows, as if we were vile impostors, saying, ‘Begone, miserable robbers! to the hospital, for here you shall neither eat nor sleep!’ – and if we accept all this with patience, with joy, and with charity, O Brother Leo, write that this indeed is perfect joy. And if, urged by cold and hunger, we knock again, calling to the porter and entreating him with many tears to open to us and give us shelter, for the love of God, and if he come out more angry than before, exclaiming, ‘These are but importunate rascals, I will deal with them as they deserve’; and taking a knotted stick, he seize us by the hood, throwing us on the ground, rolling us in the snow, and shall beat and wound us with the knots in the stick – if we bear all these injuries with patience and joy, thinking of the sufferings of our Blessed Lord, which we would share out of love for him, write, O Brother Leo, that here, finally, is perfect joy.
The medieval concept of earning Divine unification through the acceptance of suffering is spiritually uplifting. Henri Suso, as the servant, similar to St Francis, innocently embraces suffering in this whimsical manner. The words melt my heart, forcing me to bust out with cheerful laughter
God had gotten him (the servant) use to this: Whenever one affliction was over, another one soon took its place. God dealt with him thus constantly, but once he granted him a period of relief, though it did not last long. During this period of relief he came to a nuns’ convent, and his spiritual children asked him how things were going for him. He said, “I am afraid things are going quite badly for me, and this is why. It has been four weeks now since I have been attacked by anyone, either physically or with regard to my reputation, and this is quite unusual for me. And so I am afraid God has forgotten about me”.
Now compare the embracing of suffering for spiritual growth to the satirical enlightened approach of Voltaire. Voltaire mocks suffering, therefore attacking Church teaching and philosophical optimism. He opens the door for a Utopian society based upon enlightened human intellectual achievements, reform of authority and the equality of individuals, the stripping of the Church from governing authority. It is absurd for man to seek profoundness through suffering. The Age of Enlightenment, or Age of Reason, introduces cultural influences: philosophical, scientific, and political thought, which are determined to alleviate man’s suffering and produce equality amongst men through the achievements of great educated men. Proper government by an enlightened elite and technological advancements can bring about ultimate societal solutions. According to Voltaire, Candide and his companion Cacambo discover a utopian kingdom of advancement and equality in El Dorado.
…Cacambo asked one of the officers in what manner they were to pay their obeisance to His Majesty (El Dorado king); whether it was the custom to fall upon their knees, or to prostrate themselves upon the ground; whether they were to put their hands upon their heads, or behind their backs; whether they were to lick the dust off the floor; in short, what was the ceremony usual on such occasions.
“The custom,” said the great officer, “is to embrace the King and kiss him on each cheek.”
Candide and Cacambo accordingly threw their arms round His Majesty’s neck, who received them in the most gracious manner imaginable…
While supper was preparing, orders were given to show them the city, where they saw public structures that reared their lofty heads to the clouds; the marketplaces decorated with a thousand columns; fountains of spring water, besides others of rose water, and of liquors drawn from the sugarcane, incessantly flowing in the great squares, which were paved with a kind of precious stones that emitted an odor like that of cloves and cinnamon.
Candide asked to see the High Court of justice, the Parliament; but was answered that they had none in that country, being utter strangers to lawsuits. He then inquired if they had any prisons; they replied none. But what gave him at once the greatest surprise and pleasure was the Palace of Sciences, where he saw a gallery two thousand feet long, filled with the various apparatus in mathematics and natural philosophy.
A more modern approach to suffering is presented through the horrors of the Jewish experience during World War II in Jerzy Kosinski’s ‘The Painted Bird’ . Where Suso’ servant experiences spiritual growth through suffering, Kosinski’s child protagonist finds nothing amdist suffering. Surviving is the immense and vital challenge, the only thing that matters. The child, desperately clinging to life, encounters sheer mindless cruelty during his Polish village to village wandering. Existential in nature, survival amongst the meaningless cruelty of mankind speaks through the work. Man is a broken hard and cruel creature. Horror is the scream of mankind. Hopeless survival wrestles supreme. The extreme violence within the novel ranks like no other novel I have encountered, aside from a Cormac McCarthy effort.
One day he trapped a large raven, whose wings he painted red, the breast green, and the tail blue. When a flock of ravens appeared over our hut, Lekh freed the painted bird. As soon as it joined the flock a desperate battle began. The changeling was attacked from all sides. Black, red, green, blue feathers began to drop at our feet. The ravens ran amuck in the skies, and suddenly the painted raven plummeted to the freshly-plowed soil. It was still alive, opening its beak and vainly trying to move its wings. Its eyes had been pecked out, and fresh blood streamed over its painted feathers. It made yet another attempt to flutter up from the sticky earth, but its strength was gone.” —Kosinski: ‘The Painted Bird’
Overall quick thoughts on medieval Church teachings on suffering contrasted with more modern secular interpretations. Thy Will be done!!!
Finally, I decided to add more, building upon the idea of hopelessness and despair, suffering to the extreme. We all have our horrors. No need to compare and contrast. Overcoming, truly accepting suffering is essential to spiritual growth. To process and draw close to God through grief is difficult, yet few growth is greater, abstinence from a habitual vice also producing monumental maturity. The understanding of a lack of hope produces an invigoration for hope. To understand the extreme of Godless creation is important in loving the Creator. There is more to life than surviving. Nobody creates a more profound sense of hopeless survival than Cormac McCarthy. I attach a video monologue from ‘The Road’. Notice the piano playing, it’s Nick Cave once again. Notice also the ending.words: All I know is the child is my world and if he (the son) is not the word of God then God never spoke.
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