You, I devoutly adore, hidden Truth, you who under these forms, are truly hidden.
My whole heart submits itself to you for, in contemplating you, I am at a complete loss. Sight, touch, taste, in you are deceived; hearing alone can be completely believed. I believe all the son of God has said; nothing can be more true than the Word of truth.
Upon the cross the Godhead alone was hidden, but here the humanity is also hidden.
Truly believing and confessing both, I beg what the penitent thief begged. I do not see wounds, as Thomas did, but I confess you as my God.
Make me believe ever more in you, having hope in you, and loving you.
O memorial of the death of the Lord, living bread that gives life to man, Allow me always to live for you, and allow me to taste your sweetness always.
One drop of which would be enough to save the whole world of all its defilement.
Jesus, whom I now gave at veiled, when shall that which I so desire come to pass? So that seeing you, your face revealed, I may be blessed with the vision of your glory.
I love the ending of this movie ‘Lourdes’. The underplay of dramatics sweeps my heart subtly into profoundness. Obedience witnessed. The entire movie is touching with its minimized need for grand pronouncements, or the vanity of declarative statements. The lack of action and emotion promotes honesty; moving the heart with simplicity, stimulating the mind with wonder. Christine, a charming young woman with multiple sclerosis, experiences a miracle visiting Lourdes. During the middle of the night, unseen, away from the crowds, lacking any form of melodramatics, she rises from her bed and walks into the bathroom to fix her hair. She miraculously gains the use of her legs, able to walk, while seemingly embarrassed for experiencing such a tremendous miracle. Not in the least does she receive the miracle with dramatics, loud proclaiming, nor tears aplenty. Preceding the final scene, she dances with the young man the French nurses all admire. She falls while dancing. The final scene with her mother, after the fall on the dance floor, at first refusing the wheelchair her mother offers, the captivating, beautiful young woman watches and listens to everything before her. The passion within her culminates. It is obvious. She wants to dance. She wants to sing. She wants to love a young man. She wants to be like the nurses, similar young women her age enjoying health and life, able to give to those less fortunate. Within all her heart, within every ounce of her being, within all her understanding, she wants to live life to its fullest as a normal young lady. Her chest heaves, she struggles so deeply with all of her passions, passions that are not evil. In the end, she concedes, acquiescing to the wishes of God. Disarming with her understated eloquence, she accepts. If it is meant for her to be in a wheelchair so be it. She sits in the wheelchair, the scene framed in blackness. Miracles are not necessary for her happiness, her faith. Mysteries are left mysteries. Happy or sad worldly endings are not witnessed as finality. I like the final comment by one of the two older women at the dining table. ‘Do you think there’ll be a dessert’? The movie fades to black as the singing continues with the delightfully catchy French pop song. The will of God is left uninterpreted, darkness regarding ultimate answers remain unanswered. That is a tremendous scene of faith. The faith St John of the Cross writes of in the above quote.
It may be a stretch, yet I see this unique scene from the master filmmaker Fellini in his masterpiece ‘La Strada’ as an encounter with the supernatural. As with everything involving Fellini, the smallest details must be observed. A craftily detail oriented filmmaker, all things matter: the background painting conducting court in this scene. The magic of the entire film plays in my perception of the scene attaining a unique level of meaning. The simplicity of the film, coming on the heels of Italian neo-realism: movies such as ‘Rome Open City’, ‘The Bicycle Thief’, and ‘Umberto D’ assisting Europe in recovering from the ravages, dramatics, and sensationalism of World War II through simple, survivalist filmmaking, aligned solely in reality, the telling of films in a loving humanistic manner, valuing individuals over circumstances, mass-movements, and worldly concerns. The symbolism of Fellini is astounding: Gelsomina introduced back dropped by the immensity of the ocean, children always flocking to the wide-eyed Gelsomina, Gelsomina tending to wear hats, Zampano a strongman always smoking, the loquacious fool introduced with wings upon his back—at night, upon a high wire, talking too much, This scene with the sick boy represents for me Gelsomina’s personal supernatural moment, a moment of being caught off guard by God. God presenting His ways mystically, immediate, yet relevantly vague, cryptic, and in reference to secular concerns insane. The scene hypnotized the first time I watched. It seemed so peculiar Looking back, my first impression was the boy was a water-head, an extreme character of physical deformity. Now viewing, my first take was incorrect. He appears sickly, yet not grotesquely deformed as I interpreted during my first viewing. I am not sure why the scene marked me so much as a young man, representing the experiencing of the extraordinary, the supernatural encountered. Maintaining integrity, I bring the words of St John of the Cross, doctor of the church, into matters, stressing his severe warning regarding the supernatural in ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’.
The spiritual man incurs the risk of five kinds of evil if he pays heed to, and reflects upon, these forms and ideas which are impressed upon him by the things which pass through his mind in a supernatural way.
The first is that he is frequently deceived, and mistakes one thing for another. The second is that he is like to fall, and is exposed to the danger of falling, into some form of presumption or vanity. The third is that the devil has many occasions of deceiving him by means of the apprehensions aforementioned. The fourth is that he is hindered as to union in hope with God. The fifth is that, for the most part, he has a low judgment of God.
Reducing dramatics, I would like to stress a common theme of my therapist. Dr. Nitcha, above being a thoroughly educated psychologist, is also a man who spent over ten years studying in the seminary. He administered a personality test, convincing me I was an introvert/sensory type, not an introvert/intuitive type. I need facts, defined situations and people, in order to proceed most efficaciously. Just the facts please! Speculation, what could be, might be, or what God possibly intended truly confuse me, escalating me in in useless analysis (over-analysis=paralysis). Ambiguities allowed uninterpreted, I must focus upon certainties. The personality test results were a bit of shock. I thought of myself as a person centered upon intuition, the creative and heartfelt extra sensory perception. I am now pleasantly sold on the idea that I need facts, schedule and routine, in order to live most abundantly. It relieves me. There was a bit of a misconception about myself throughout my life. I thought I was someone I truly was not. It fits so well with my concentration upon my natural life in order to pursue my passion of contemplation to a higher degree, aligned perfectly with my spiritual companion’s constant driving home that the natural level is my spiritual downfall. Due to an over concentration on the spiritual and my upbringing, I became lost in daily practical life, thus always causing a spiritual collapse. My spiritual life consisted of extreme peaks and valleys.
Dr. Nitcha extends the sensory approach to life, the mindset of dealing strictly with facts, to the spiritual. I have a friend Jenet who comes to mind. She is a sweet soul, dedicated to the Rosary, Daily Mass, and the Divine Office, proficiently knowledgeable in all matters Catholic, yet she thrives on sensationalism. Her heart races nervously when a certain woman is around. Mysterious, bordering on miraculous, coincidences are always occurring around her. Constantly alert for their appearance, signs and marvels she has known all of her life. It becomes mildly annoying and distracting. Another friend from daily mass, Sharron is constantly experiencing the baby Jesus, often riding a white horse, in her dreams. She is another admirable woman, inspiring to share communal prayer with, however her affection for spiritual dramatics borders on the absurd, make her appear spiritually immature. As Dr. Nitcha would respond if he were asked for input, ‘maybe what she says is true, and maybe what she says is fabricated. It does not matter. You are learning to deal with facts, rejecting supposition, possibilities, and fascination with the fabulous. Jesus appearing as an infant, riding a horse, means nothing to you. That what you cannot reduce down to fact and practicality abandon. Grounding yourself humbly and simplistically in faith, hope, and charity, ritually committing to the sacraments and a passive, intense prayer life, remain in reality. Doctor turns most of his direction to John Paul II, stressing that as one of the greatest of mystics, he thrived in practicality, a master of daily reality, the nondramatics of dealing with complex matters as Pope efficiently and realistically. As a contemplative, I praise the ordinary in order to advance closer to God. The rejection of pride, intellectualism, and egotism is not enough. Intimacy with God occurs through a further reduction, negating my way through imagination, and especially flights of fancy, a tendency toward the supernatural.
The benefits that come from voiding the imagination of imaginary forms can be clearly observed in the five evils aforementioned which they inflict upon the soul, if it desires to retain them, even as we also said of the natural forms. But, apart from these, there are other benefits for the spirit — namely, those of great rest and quiet. For, setting aside that natural rest which the soul obtains when it is free from images and forms, it likewise becomes free from anxiety as to whether they are good or evil, and as to how it must behave with respect to the one and to the other. Nor has it to waste the labor and time of its spiritual masters by requiring them to decide if these things are good or evil, and if they are of this kind or of another; for the soul has no need to desire to know all this if it pays no heed to them. The time and energies which it would have wasted in dealing with these images and forms can be better employed in another and a more profitable exercise, which is that of the will with respect to God, and in having a care to seek detachment and poverty of spirit and sense, which consists in desiring earnestly to be without any consoling support that can be apprehended, whether interior or exterior. This we practice well when we desire and strive to strip ourselves of these forms, since from this there will proceed no less a benefit than that of approach to God (Who has no image, neither form nor figure), and this will be the greater according as the soul withdraws itself the more completely from all forms, images and figures of the imagination.
The reality of Gelsomina witnessing the large headed sick boy, the supernaturally calling sadly through the natural, before the painted Blessed Mother and child Jesus, saints adoring, ends with a nun scolding, threatening with a stick, berating the children and Gelsomina for trespassing into areas that are strictly off-limits. Gelsomina is chased from the forbidden supernatural and back to life with Zampano, a life where choices exist. Gelsomina must learn to make choices, discernment, a thing the adorable one of innocence never accomplishes. The story of her life in trying times, for all time is trying, is a sad one, a tragedy played out. The Christ like Fool waiting to steal her heart and wonder, offering wisdom and a kind gentle soul for loving, constructive adventures of accomplishment, a figure destined for a self-proclaimed young death, she is unable to couple with, to advance a meaningful relationship due to her dependence upon the nonreciprocating brutish vice pursuing meathead ways of Zampano. A state of innocence, purity in intent and behavior, is not enough to bring about fulfillment. Being a good person is not enough. Life demands more than being a victim. The story is a sad one too many times.
The following Gregorian chant from medieval times Dies Irae/Day of Wrath is attributed to Thomas of Celano. I am guided to the chant for several reasons. One being seemingly mere chance. I posted the Angelus and once completing a viewing, the lovely rendition of Dies Irae stood poised for clicking. I witnessed the video, moved by the rendition. I recalled the chant being associated with Thomas of Celano. The writing of the chant is recognized unofficially by Brother Thomas. Brother Thomas, an early Franciscan wrote a definitive biography of St Francis that is vital to my spiritual growth. The work is grander than the telling of simply the life of St Francis. All respect given to the immensity of the life of St Francis, the time he was born and his social and religious ramifications, the biography written by Thomas of Celano is a spiritual endeavor on an individual level, a guide through scripture, spiritual thought, while ruminating upon the events of the life of St Francis. I have a fiction work in progress I have actually abandoned, one calling me to finish. I feel it is my opus maximum. It is the story of an errant knight, the ill-begotten son of a priest, a man of immense physical proportions at war with not only the world, yet torn inside from an unknown father infamous as a corrupt priest, and a beautiful mother overly-compassionate, obsessively attached to her only son, a woman outcast with only her son for companionship. The severe affliction the mother inflicts upon her son through intense unfocused love, pouring all of her faith, hope, and charity into her offspring damages the child’s psyche. The troubled psyche also greatly affected by an absent father, a man of ill-repute who wore the collar of a priest. The mother dies the death of a leper. Her son moves into the world as Man Tower, a mammoth man of might known for his cruelty in battle–his moniker in respect to the towers commonly built in cities of Italy during the time. He represents a tower of defense personified. A modern Achilles loving only war, fearing not death, while all fear his appearance upon the battlefield. During this time, the time of St Francis, the years roughly a thousand years after the death of Our Lord, a complex psychological time. Many saw the end of the world after the thousand year reign of man after the death and resurrection of Our Lord. The Church was lost, corrupt priest running rampant morally and economically. Social conditions were evolving as feudalism gave way to a hierarchal social structure based upon mercantilism; royalty being usurped by markets, individuals gaining ascendency over the church and royal domination. The common man was emerging as a vital economic and political force. St Francis appeared during this critical time offering not only reform in the church, always keep in mind Pope Innocent’s dream of St Francis holding up the church. St Francis and St Clare also provided immense social change in their embracing of poverty, truly demonstrating the worth of knowing the Lord through lacking rather than riches. They lived in a time when riches became accessible, a viable dream for every peasant, either through economic enterprise or spoils gained through knightly efforts in the Holy Land. The dream of wealth established itself as a dream in the mind of every man (including priest), woman, and child. Whether realized or not, avariciousness became a mental preoccupation for every man.
Anyway to cut myself short. In this work, I place scripture as stolen from Thomas of Celano’s biography of St Francis within the story, synchronously dropped in throughout. As Thomas of Celano applied it to the telling of the life of St Francis, I use it the same in my story. Thy Will be done. St Francis and St Clare play vital within the story told around their times and lives. Now I would like to honor the chant associated with Thomas of Celano. First introducing the theme of death through the writing of St Alphonsus De Liguroi. The chant is a sobering, long forgotten, and much needed reminder of man’s finality, with a very clear admonition that we had better be prepared for judgment and eternity.
My brother, if you wish to lead a proper life, endeavor to live during the days which may remain to thee, keeping death ever in view. ” O death, thy judgment is good.” (Ecclus. xli. 3.) Oh how well does he who judges of things and regulates his actions act; who judges and regulates them, with death ever in view. The memory of death makes us lose the affection which we feel for things that are earthly”. Let the end of this life be thought upon, and there will be nothing in this world to be loved,” observes S. Lawrence Justinian”. For all that is in the world: the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.” (i S. John ii. 16.) All the pleasures of the world may be reduced to the pleasures of sense, the pleasures of riches and honors; but he who thinks that within a short time he will be reduced to ashes, and that he will be food for worms under the earth, despises all the pleasures the world can give him. –St Alphonsus De Liguroi ‘Preparation for Death’.
It is but seldom a sinner is found so hopeless, as to wish to be preparation for condemned. Sinners are willing to sin, but they are not willing to give up the hope of being saved. They commit sin, and say to themselves, God is merciful ; I will commit this sin, and afterwards confess it. Behold, says S. Augustine, this is how sinners talk: “God is good, I will do what it pleaseth me;”but O God, how many, who are now in hell, have said the same!
The Lord tells us not to say that the mercies of God are great, and that although we may commit many sins, by one act of sorrow they will be pardoned. “Say not the mercy of the Lord is great, He will have mercy on the multitude of my sins”. (Ecclus. v. 6.) God tells us not to say this, and wherefore”? For mercy and wrath quickly come from Him, and His wrath worketh upon sinners”. (Ecclus. v. 7.) The mercy of God is infinite, but the acts of this mercy, are finite. God is merciful, but He is also just. S. Basil observes that sinners will only consider God in one aspect”. The Lord is good, but also just; we are unwilling to think of God in His half-nature”. To bear with him who makes use of the mercy of God, only to do Him more offence, observes Father Avila, would not be mercy, for justice would be lacking. Mercy is promised to him who fears God, not, indeed, to him who abuses it, as the holy Virgin sang”, His mercy is on them that fear Him”. To the obstinate, justice is threatened, and, as S. Augustine observes, God never fails in His promises, neither does He fail in His threats. –St Alphonsus De Liguroi ‘Preparation for Death’.
Dies Irae/Day of Wrath
DIES irae, dies illa,
solvet saeculum in favilla,
teste David cum Sibylla.
Day of wrath and doom impending,
David’s word with Sibyl’s blending,
Heaven and earth in ashes ending.
Quantus tremor est futurus,
quando iudex est venturus,
cuncta stricte discussurus!
O what fear man’s bosom rendeth,
When from heaven the Judge descendeth,
On whose sentence all dependeth.
Tuba mirum spargens sonum
per sepulcra regionum,
coget omnes ante thronum.
Wondrous sound the trumpet flingeth,
Through earth’s sepulchers it ringeth,
All before the throne it bringeth.
Mors stupebit et natura,
cum resurget creatura,
iudicanti responsura.
Death is struck, and nature quaking,
All creation is awaking,
To its Judge an answer making.
Liber scriptus proferetur,
in quo totum continetur,
unde mundus iudicetur.
Lo, the book exactly worded,
Wherein all hath been recorded,
Thence shall judgment be awarded.
Iudex ergo cum sedebit,
quidquid latet apparebit:
nil inultum remanebit.
When the Judge His seat attaineth,
And each hidden deed arraigneth,
Nothing unavenged remaineth.
Quid sum miser tunc dicturus?
quem patronum rogaturus?
cum vix iustus sit securus.
What shall I, frail man, be pleading?
Who for me be interceding
When the just are mercy needing?
Rex tremendae maiestatis,
qui salvandos salvas gratis,
salva me, fons pietatis.
King of majesty tremendous,
Who dost free salvation send us,
Fount of pity, then befriend us.
Recordare Iesu pie,
quod sum causa tuae viae:
ne me perdas illa die.
Think, kind Jesus, my salvation
Caused Thy wondrous Incarnation,
Leave me not to reprobation.
Quarens me, sedisti lassus:
redemisti crucem passus:
tantus labor non sit cassus.
Faint and weary Thou hast sought me,
On the Cross of suffering bought me,
Shall such grace be vainly brought me?
Iuste iudex ultionis,
donum fac remissionis,
ante diem rationis.
Righteous Judge, for sin’s pollution
Grant Thy gift of absolution,
Ere that day of retribution.
Ingemisco, tamquam reus:
culpa rubet vultus meus:
supplicanti parce Deus.
Guilty now I pour my moaning,
All my shame with anguish owning,
Spare, O God, Thy suppliant groaning.
Qui Mariam absolvisti,
et latronem exaudisti,
mihi quoque spem dedisti.
Through the sinful woman shriven,
Through the dying thief forgiven,
Thou to me a hope hast given.
Preces meae non sunt dignae:
sed tu bonus fac benigne,
ne perenni cremer igne.
Worthless are my prayers and sighing,
Yet, good Lord, in grace complying,
Rescue me from fires undying.
Inter oves locum praesta,
et ab haedis me sequestra,
statuens in parte dextera.
With Thy sheep a place provide me,
From the goats afar divide me,
To Thy right hand do Thou guide me.
Confutatis maledictis,
flammis acribus addictis.
voca me cum benedictis.
When the wicked are confounded,
Doomed to flames of woe unbounded,
Call me with Thy Saints surrounded.
Oro supplex et acclinis,
cor contritum quasi cinis:
gere curam mei finis.
Low I kneel with heart’s submission,
See, like ashes, my contrition,
Help me in my last condition.
Lacrimosa dies illa,
qua resurget ex favilla.
iudicandus homo reus:
huic ergo parce Deus.
Ah! That day of tears and mourning,
From the dust of earth returning,
Man for judgment must prepare him,
Spare, O God, in mercy spare him.
Pie Iesu Domine,
dona eis requiem. Amen.
Lord, all-pitying, Jesus blest,
Grant them Thine eternal rest. Amen.
1. Ecce Panis Angelorum, 1. Behold the Bread of Angels
Factus cibus viatorum made the Food of wayfarers,
Vere panis filiorum, Truly the bread of children,
Non mittendus canibus. not to be given to the dogs.
2. In figuris praesignatur, 2. Presignified by figure,
Cum Isaac immolatur, When Isaac was immolated,
Agnus Paschae deputatur, the Paschal Lamb was commanded,
Datur manna patribus. Manna was given to the fathers.
3. Bone pastor, panis vere, 3. Good shepherd, true Bread,
Jesu, nostri miserere: Jesus, have mercy on us:
Tu nos pasce, nos tuere, Feed us, protect us,
Tu nos bona fac videre Make us to see good things
In terra viventium. in the land of the living.
4. Tu qui cuncta scis et vales, 4. Thou who knowest and willest all things,
Qui nos pascis hic mortales: Who feeds us mortals by This:
Tuos ibi commensales, Make thine own to be partakers of,
Coheredes et sodales coheirs and citizens in
Fac sanctorum civium. that holy City of Saints.
Amen. Amen.
“Behold the Bread of Angels” – this is often used as a Benediction hymn, for obvious reasons. It recalls how the mystery of the Eucharist was signified by many events in the Old Testament – the immolation of Isaac, the Paschal Lamb, the manna given to the fathers in the desert. It then proceeds to ask Jesus for the grace to save our souls, so that we can join the citizens of Heaven, seeing Him forever in “the land of the living”.
This is only the last 4 stanzas of the famous hymn, “Lauda Sion”, written by St. Thomas Aquinas before the year 1274. It is the sequence for Corpus Christi, the great feast of the Body of Christ when the Church turns our attention to the great Gift of the Eucharist. Jesus gave us this precious Gift of Himself so that He might always be with us.
Good morning Holy Mother. Bless my day with graces that allow me to be a light to all I encounter today. Strengthen my mind so I can love your Holy Son and be of maximum service to Him. St Joseph pray for me.
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