God is good and I am exhausted. The Sisters of Mercy extended themselves graciously. Sister Mariella said she was going to set up a special room for me. She did not say she was going to turn a conference room into my room. This is incredible. Twenty foot ceiling, dropped lighting, plus two reading lamps, and a large ceiling fan with quiet air conditioning cooling. The room size is approximately twenty-five by thirty feet with a large private bathroom. The grounds are secluded, securing privacy with an eight foot fence surrounding the acreage. I am touched, feeling blessed. The dinner with the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament also went beyond expectation. Driving to St Paschal Baylon, old insecurities kicked in, almost forcing me to avoid the dinner date. I forced myself to go. Once inside, nervous, overwhelmed, still debating whether to attend, I stood by myself in the hallway, racked with doubt. Walking by the entrance, the only Blessed Sacrament brother I met noticed me, calling for me to join him on the couch. He immediately lowered my defenses. Disarmed, a smiled blossomed. I joined him on the couch. Speaking of incredible accommodations, the dinner was no cookout outside during an incredibly hot and humid day. It was an excellent dinner in an air conditioned dinning room. I met several brothers and three priests from the first order, impressed with their kindness and hospitality. Dinning, I sat with four women and one gentleman. Conversation flowed splendidly. Overall, I felt like crying I was so touched by the quality of people welcoming me. I refused to feel insecure, or to focus upon my failings. This is a serious group of adults, dedicated to their lay association, detailed and precise as a Catholic faith based organization. The group worships the Blessed Sacrament. I do not feel second to anyone in terms of my devotion to the Eucharist. I love the Eucharist, adoring routinely. More than understanding its power, I experience it daily. I felt the strength of the Eucharist filling me throughout the dinner, confidence firm and concentrated. One of the gentleman proved interesting, remarkably inspiring in exchange. I recognized him as a lector at St Paul’s Shrine. I felt embarrassed a bit as once I called him a clown. Ann commented she felt the man was holy when he read. I responded with a critical remark. The man is extravagant in attire, articulation and gesturing. The more I saw of him, the more I realized he was authentic as a person. I always felt bad for judging him harshly the first time I heard him reading during mass. Suddenly there he was in my face, eager to speak to me. He recognized me from St Paul’s and someone told him I was going to Our Lady of the Pines.  Excitedly, he informed me he would be conducting a one man play, portraying Thomas Merton at Our Lady of the Pines. I recalled reading about the event. He was pleased I was aware of his play. I will see what I can do in regards to attending his performance. Final note on the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament. I will attend their next event August 1st, moving forward in discernment. I am tired and it is time for bedtime reading and prayers. Retreat is officially in session.

Retreat room