When Jesus comes to the soul in Holy Communion he brings every grace to it, especially the grace of holy perseverance. This is the principal effect of the Most Holy Sacrament—to nourish the soul that receives it with this food of life, to give it great strength to advance to perfection and to resist those enemies who desire our death….

Patience under contempt

St Teresa reminds us, “Whoever aspires to perfection must beware of ever saying: ‘They had no right to treat me so’. If you will not bear any cross but one which is based on reason, then perfection is not for you.”

…affronts, poverty, torments, and all tribulations…when they happen to a soul who loves God they become an instrument of closer union with God and more ardent love of God. However great and grievous trouble may be, so far from extinguishing the flames of charity, they only serve to enkindle them more in a soul who loves nothing else but God. 

St Alphonsus Liguori

The above words from St Alphonsus Liguori in ‘The Holy Eucharist’ settle nicely upon the Matthew Gospel readings the last two days of mass, a personal exploration of necessity. However, I turned to them in regards to relevancy while discovering them searching for another idea. I wanted a saintly inspired meditation upon patience and the Eucharist. I am fascinated by slow developments in my life regarding the Eucharist. Several phone calls, phone messages, and now a conversation leading to an appointment with a priest form an opening to the Aggregation of the Blessed Sacrament aligned with the parish of St Paschal Baylon in Highland Heights. Nothing happening fast, patience gracing, respect to the uniqueness of charisms, marks the events with intrigue. The Sunday vigil mass of Corpus Christi I attended at the church allowed me to witness seven laypeople complete formation into the third order. Me being me, my mind races forward in fantasy and imagination, excited by the idea of socializing based upon the Eucharist. It was a quality crowd of Catholics. The entire third order stood during the mass, all seated together, as the seven new inductees conducted their formal ceremonies of graduation. In respect to Dr Nichta’s stressing that I function best in structure, routine, and order, I feel it appropriate to explore further. Thy Will be done. More Dr Nichta wisdom: Maybe this is the key to a healthy social life, and maybe it is not. Explore the matter realistically, patiently prepared for a yes or no. Most likely, the truth is somewhere in between. There is no reason to fear being wrong, nor no glory in being right. All is in God’s hands. Trust in the Lord. I am a dreamer and tend to get overly-excited. The opportunity of taking the Eucharist to the homebound, nursing homes, and whatever other opportunities exist surrounding the Eucharist may be just the spiritual and natural extending of myself necessary for further contemplative growth.  So many have assisted me in establishing where I am at today, it would serve perfection to serve others: allow me Lord to provide love-filled service to my brothers and sisters, teach me to see You, Lord, in all the lives that I touch.. A new social world, brothers and sisters in Christ, would soothe my heart, ease my awkwardness in life. Every day, through all complications, love amasses within me. I am not sure why God is not providing me an outlet for my love. Friends to share with are developing at St Paul’s, a spiritual home is revealed, yet could there be more to fill my mornings.  Taking inspiration from Janette, I do not complain, nor whine, grateful for the miracles in my life, yet I plead with God to use me.  Let me give back Lord.  I am a good man with a heart ready to explode. I am alone and hurting. My family is distant. I have no one close. Conducting the novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots, I plead with my Holy Mother, the wisest, kindest and gentlest of all women, to allow me the opportunity to love and serve. Self-knowledge focused upon a devoted personality, I understand it is essential for me to love. Love brings meaning to my life. Root out my complexities, Holy Mother allow me to love properly. You know how much I enjoy my time with Janette. Are there other elderly people who can serve me so blessedly by allowing me to take the Eucharist to them, possibly even to share Rosaries together? Could such a miracle truly take place in my life? God, could You break my loneliness by allowing me to serve You? Could I truly have the opportunity to love on such a profound level, filling my mornings with the supplying of the body of Christ to those in need? I have known disappointment and rejection all of my life, I implore with proper intent and respect, God that You please grace me with the opportunity to serve You with, in, and through love.