Thy will be done. God determines my cross, my appropriate suffering. Self-imposed misery, self-induced suffering is not redemptive. Despair, hopelessness, are perversions, diverse from God’s order. Self-seeking and rationalization inflict personal elevation, spiritually devastating, blinding understanding. To ask God to forgive those who I perceive to have sinned against me, yet in truth have done me no harm, is an affront to God. To play the victim over and over is to be a spiritual coward. To be a martyr when God does not call for one is poor discernment. My faith is not a means of self-justification. My trust in God simplifies, inducing kindness, a disposition others are able to trust. If complexity, strangeness, and a vacillating nature are the results of my spiritual efforts, self-will rules. If people find me vague, incomprehensible, moody, difficult to deal with my spiritual life is out of balance. Do not create suffering. Allow God to provide proper suffering. He will oblige.