Amidst failure,
Without reward,
Comprehending all my efforts are for naught,
My ambition blindness,
My alibis deafness,
Realizing amongst the faithful,
I am the least of my brother,
Shared brokenness through sin the lowest common denominator,
Elevation a romantic delusional endeavor,
Self-serving and wretched,
Understanding my intellect ranks nothing special,
Arrogant and proud,
Discerning my insight reflects self-centeredness,
Self-absorption a will to run riot,
Repeating worn phrases the severity of ignorance,
Needing the simple,
Routine and ritual a blessing,
Side-stepping dynamics,
Recognizing the paltriness of my offerings,
Conspicuous and Exposed,
My schemes and designs inadequate and flawed,
Stumbling upon the capricious wicked tongue,
The awkwardness of words,
Sentences going nowhere,
The humiliation of rigorous honesty,
Deciphering reality,
There will be no creative efforts of consequence,
No monumental writings,
Nothing whatsoever of my doing to hang my hat upon,
Everything debt,
Internalizing facts,
The most presentable to God a love He enkindles,
Yearning so deeply,
Suffering a surrender,
Resting not,
Until satisfied with, in, and through my Lord,
Reposed upon the Divine,
Content in smallness being an ugly reality,
Rather than a clever awareness,
A flight of egotistical fancy,
A misstep into disorder,
Can I still love God?
Under the immensity of conditions,
Grasping the spiritual life,
Simple and obvious,
Is mastered by few,
Cross-eyed and painful,
The slighted many errant,
Myself being one,
Knowing all He creates is good,
Can I still love God?