“The bee is more honored than other animals, not because it labors, but because it labors for others” –St John Chrysostom.
I was speaking with my spiritual partner regarding my blog when I felt it necessary to identify reoccurring themes I am firmly trying to establish. I like basic ideas and repetition, rather than bouncing all over the place spiritually and intellectually. This is not a game, nor entertainment. The first theme is negation, closely associated with unknowing, cleansing, psychological healing, emptying, removing the trash, clearing space. Allowing ambiguity and a lack of definitude in regards to spiritual matters, I firmly understand who I am not. I stoutly establish who I am not. One of the things important for negating self-revelation is understanding I am no authority. I am no religious wise man. I absolutely hold no special place, nor deserve any special attention. My intellect must not need attention for it is not that special. I remain hidden, working in secret. To know who I am in the eyes of God, deconstructing is essential. It is more important than constructing truths, intellectual pursuits, vainglory, or the praising of a God of my understanding, or more appropriately a God of my warping. I am becoming aware of God’s omnipotence and omnipresence through my unknowing of limiting images and ideas of Him. I have lost interest in self-serving pretty and intelligent words, preferring penetrating insight into personal areas needing attention, the cleansing of myself in order to make room for profound filling. I am focused upon wiping clean my slate in order for God to become the author. I am learning to truly turn my life and my will over to the care of God. It is more important to become something authentic, rather than to be something superficial.
That leads into another theme being directly and indirectly addressed which I identify as Divine Will. Contemplative in the Mud expressed powerful thoughts on a shortcut to holiness existing through the recognition of Jesus within others. I am not constantly judging, attacking, engaging in mental warfare. The humility, lack of self-consciousness, lack of attachment, necessary to witness the image and likeness of God within others is grace producing for the exerciser and those such vision is exercised upon. If all is aligned and you are witnessing Christ within me, disregarding my failings, you not only benefit, yet I benefit from interacting with you. God’s will is being exercised, charity is shared and experienced. Christ becomes a living communal reality. The one thing necessary for human perfection, contemplation to do God’s will, is utilized, allowing a furthering of the unity of the active and contemplative life. It is not that a strong devotion to one of the two great commandments, love thy neighbor, is knowledge, an isolated piece, that must be learned in order to advance upon the path of perfection, rather properly administering such selfless behavior allows greater observance of God’s will. I think Contemplative in the Mud sums matters up succinctly and neatly with this sentence: The ‘one thing necessary’ must appear less and less in pieces and more and more in one.
Another theme being hammered away at is self-consciousness. My personal weaknesses must not force me into becoming self-focused. If my thoughts and behavior erupt from broken indigent self-esteem, an over-sensitive nature domineering, the fruits of my efforts will naturally be rotten; human endeavor enslaved to self-will, an abandonment of God perpetrated. This is not an arbitrary concern. It is essential upon the path of perfection, the polishing of prayer. It goes beyond cleansing, delving deeper into divine supplication. Saint Alphonsus Rodríguez makes the statement: ‘Prayer is not perfect as long as the monk at prayer is aware of the very fact that he is praying’… It is why Trappist endure wearing such long and wide sleeves upon their habits—the symbol reminding them of the necessity of hiding the doings of the right hand from the left.
The final theme identified is the importance of constructing through prayer. My contemplative life is not an authentic life if it is not grounded in daily prayer. Combined with receiving the Eucharist, prayer is my daily medicine, the means of mending and offering to God the vessel for filling. Spiritual reading is vital, yet for myself, even that tremendously beneficial spiritual exercise ranks lower in regards to receiving the Eucharist daily and prayer, placing myself perpetually in the presence of God. The theoretical takes a backseat to the experiential–thoughts on God usurped by the experiencing of God. I want to mention confession. At least twice a month, I mandate participation. Regarding prayer, above the blog, above reputation, above learning, above conversation, above all holy intended activity, above acts of corporeal mercy, prayer is my true challenge of mastery; the area faith, hope, and charity are able to impregnate prosperity. My prayer life only thrives when my natural life is in order, burgeoning when a state of grace is lived, and personal growth is pursued with a passion.
