Driving reflecting this morning, I felt the need to express a feeling regarding a pleasant Sunday dinner with roommates and accompanying guest. First politeness intent, I enjoyed and appreciated the event, immensely. Carter, a Presbyterian minister, paying all due respect to the Catholic Church, heaping praise upon certain aspects, identifying in detail, he finally came to his concluding weak points of Catholicism, the biggest being the complete lack of empowerment for women. Relishing the marvelous food and conversation, perceiving the good intent behind the words I dismissed, avoiding any, and all, hint of confrontation. He told me of his eldest sister’s experience with Catholicism. His sister converted as an adult, becoming extremely active in social justice issues and evangelizing through the Church, however eventually the fact the priest possessed all the power she felt frustrated and useless, opting for another church where her leadership skills could be better utilized. I quickly thought of CS Lewis’ ‘Screwtape Letters’, the uncle demon advising his demon nephew to encourage his human charge to explore all churches, guiding him to churches as a critic and explorer. With such a mindset, the human would naturally choose a church that empowered him as an authority, a religious expert. Once that happen then the demon nephew truly held power over the man’s soul. I feel the understanding of the issue of power clearly defines my contemplative approach. I do not come to the Church seeking power. In fact, no power whatsoever in overcoming my greatest detriment, alcoholism, sends me reeling low to the Church. I am powerless Divine Trinity and Holy Mother, so helpless and weak. I have been defeated. I cling to powerlessness. In truth, prayer is the only visible action I can supply at this time. Last eventide, I watched a wonderful movie ‘Far From the Madding Crowd’, the film presenting the power within powerlessness through the character Gabriel. I embrace ironies and mysteries. There is a charming theater, Cedar Lee, right down the street from my new home. Last night, I was able to indulge in its convenience, viewing a romantic Thomas Hardy story brought to the big screen. Gabriel I took inspiration in, finding attributes about his approach to life enlightening. Within the midst of misfortune, wrongful events, he remained committed to integrity, devoted to increasing love within the world, adhering to patience, perseverance, and proper pride—doing the right thing when everything had to be screaming within to fight and rebel. Gabriel was a strong, intelligent man willing to allow life to unfold within Divine Intent. The scene of Bathsheba’s wedding, the woman he loved, and the terrible storm unleashing a fury, his sole concern remained her welfare, the protecting of Bathsheba’s farm, conducting appropriate duty, putting into action what was right while his heart had to be shattered. Able to strike deeply into righteousness, he humbly did what was virtuous. His heartbreaking and quaking, he held firmly to kindness and gentleness. It is not how I am. It is not how Father David Mary is. It is not how Ann is. Good people can be hard in their pursuit of God. Gabriel absorbed all things, always holding to the conviction that he would multiply others ability to love. To increase other’s ability to love is delicate and hard. The majority of us are broken in regards to loving properly, sending and receiving improperly, lacking profound insight into the needs of others. I thank Dr Nitcha for establishing the premise in my consciousness that it is my Godly responsibility to figure out, to contribute, and magnify the ability to love within others. That is the contemplative’s active mission. Shunning cleverness, the need to be right, and the aptitude for articulating convincing argument, I focus upon love, increasing potentialities, amplifying realities. Do others desire to love greater, virtuously intensifying charity efforts after encountering me? Or do I leave them confused and somewhat slightly dazed?