A birthday comes and years pass. I feel my age, comfortable with life, interiorly reposing into a life of sobriety and the pursuit of God. Many details demand further definition, yet I do not allow fear to command. I know who I am and my self-knowledge penetrates further. Gratitude, a sense of extreme blessing extended over a subtle time, the realization kisses on a birthday, following with the whispering: ‘you did not marvel that concupiscence has been lifted, the blinding of lust removed’. The voice chuckling, continuing in the tone of Mary: ‘You have always been such an odd one. Be happy. You have been given a great grace.’ My spiritual exercises expand, settling into profound ritual, guided by the Eucharist. On my birthday, I received an authoritative welcoming email from the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament that intrigues. The August 1st date is more than I anticipated. There will be a continental breakfast followed by a full eight hour day of instruction, concluding with mass. The curriculum is defined:
1. Eucharist as Nourishment and Reconciliation
2. Eucharist as Transformation
3. Eucharist as Abiding Presence Calling Us to Mission
I discern with respect and admiration the gradual process of the organization becoming a reality of worship and service. My initial reaction that it is a group of mature pursuers of faith impassions, yet I temper, trusting in patience, allowing my imagination not to run away from God. I think of the words of Teresa of Avila.
… (If) this soul (a seasoned practitioner) invariably followed the will of God, it is clear that it would not be lost. But the devil comes with his artful wiles, and, under colour of doing good, sets about undermining it in trivial ways, and involving it in practices which, so he gives it to understand, are not wrong; little by little he darkens its understanding, and weakens its will, and causes its self-love to increase, until in one way and another he begins to withdraw it from the love of God and to persuade it to indulge its own wishes. –Interior Castle
I visited with my friend, Jan Marie, owner of the Marian Catholic bookstore. Her prayer room is a holy space, a Thin place. A Thin Place is a space in which the veil between heaven and earth is greatly reduced, allowing the light of heaven to shine on through to the realm of time and space. It is an Irish term, referring to the wonders of nature: mountaintops, waterfalls, an ocean with the sun rising or setting above, and sacred places. St Paul’s Shrine is a Thin Place.
My friend gave me a packed envelope of things she gathered for me. She collects Catholic antiquities and stuff of all kinds. I do not know where she gets all the items. She has quite a reputation. People bring her stuff while closing estates, and in other such ways she comes across amazing stuff. Within her offerings was a novena. I liked its aged look. I took it into St Paul’s for further inspection during mass. Reading it before mass, I realized the totality of what it was. It was a Perpetual Novena in honor of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal from 1936 as put together by the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration at St Paul’s. That would have been fifteen years after the Catholic diocese under Bishop Scremps, and the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration under Mother Mary Agnes Eichler purchased the church for the settlement of Poor Clares at Euclid and 40th Street. During the Millionaire Row days of Euclid Avenue the church was an evangelical church.
I showed the precious Novena to an extern sister who immediately grasped it as hers, or more properly the convents, exclaiming Mother Agnes. I laughed to myself thinking I was only showing it to her, however now it is obvious I am giving it to her. I did not mind since there were two in the envelope. I scolded myself a bit for not thinking of giving it to her in the first place. I did have two of them why would I not share one. In truth, beyond scolding, I was so stunned by the find I was just showing her out of amazement. I never expected her to become so excited. Pleasant experience.
On to the physical conditioning aspect, the natural arising to match the spiritual, I am in the tenth day of the Master Cleanse diet, determining I am going to continue. I will cease the fast when deemed appropriate. Right now all aspects appeal immensely. I will be running a 5K August 8th, speaking of Millionaires Row. The urban running course will start at Garden View Park passing through the historic Rockefeller Park and the Cleveland Cultural Gardens then through the historic East Boulevard neighborhood. It should be a thrill.
While putting this together, I heard a song that captivated. I watched the video amazed. How can one watch the beginning and not be left spellbound by the wonder of God, the vigor and determination of life to be born. Utterly astounding, the hairs on my neck stood in joy, my heart marveling at the sovereignty, grandeur, and majesty of God.
I recognized the song playing on Pandora to be a cover of this original by Iron and Wine, a Sam Beam song. Listen to these words. A quaint cozy love song is something never to shirk away from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYWymG9fSs
