Before the Eucharist, these words identified a reality emerging. Being called into service, my contemplative life matures into a living reality beyond concepts, surpassing intellectualism, disconnected from linear thought, disassociated from reason, something set apart, on into a world of its own, a world of the Creator Himself. I am living a contemplative life activated by Divine Will, set into purposeful motion with, in and through the Trinity, obedient to the Church and worldly organizations. A perennial existentialist, an isolator and misfit, I come into greater fruition by abiding by the structure, guidance, and authority of the Hospice of the Western Reserve, true to the Church above all things, trusting in God, content with lowliness and simplicity, following the footsteps of Jesus, invigorated by the Holy Spirit–armed with His gifts and fruits attained through purging, psychological healing, …if it dies, it bears much fruit, always striving for purity, Neither is new wine put into old wineskins, making progress within imperfections, patient with myself, renewing strength continually under the mantle of my Holy Mother Mary. Expecting nothing, while open to giving everything, I can, remaining responsible, maintaining sanctifying grace, sacrificing both great and small, inspiring in the world, contribute to God’s greater glory. What more is there to do? Instead of reading and writing, suckling upon the breast, I venture out into the world, hidden as a contemplative, outrageous to a likable degree, unafraid to be different, yet unassuming, diverting attention, remaining quiet, seeking anonymity. Clarity within moments, my every thought becomes accountable, my behavior even more: holiness a consequence. A strict demand is made upon myself, always willing to forgive myself, starting the next moment refreshed, vigorously focused upon servitude.
His mind no longer reposes in the contemplation that theology makes possible. It is not acquired contemplation (a thing of human doing) that directly nourishes his life of love. The more his interior life develops, the more his theological knowledge and mystical knowledge tend, each, to become specifically distinct. We might say that they become more specialized. Prayer becomes more and more simple, more and more divine and filled with love; it is stripped of a too human intellectualism that impedes love’s upward thrust and hinders it simple openness. –Father Thomas Philippe ‘The Fire of Contemplation’