I sang the song of silence within the chaos of a life,
I never knew how to talk to anyone,
Condemnation within the lack of consul,
All the time struggling and splashing,
Creating voluminous waves,
Grace unfolding,
Praise unknowing,
Being young,
I never meant to hurt so many people,
So many people, places, faces, and things,
I never knew I would meet so many people,
It was cold and it rained,
I felt like an actor,
The mirror reflecting sadness,
Disappointment and delusion,
I never really knew what I meant,
Imitating the glamor of forbidden queens,
An unwinding hurricane entangling,
A deep longing infusing confidence to proceed forward,
Never missing the beat of the drums,
The wailing of guitars,
The gnashing of teeth,
I never doubted myself while unable to accomplish anything,
In jest, the fool’s folly becomes a quest,
Others tag along, others disappear,
Isolation burrows into detachment,
Deep rumblings of something greater usurping the sounds of shattering,
The cracking of unguarded moments,
Carelessness, hopelessness, and despair,
Safe-keeping the defense of desperate yearnings,
Solutions were never within reach,
Practicality a lack of speech,
Unable to speak in tongues,
Never having anything to say,
Unwashed, barely able to go to bed,
Bright-eyed fearfully young and dazed,
There was no rest,
Boy your getting out of hand,
As the kid on the street just reads, and reads, and reads,
Peace perceived as a dangerous state,
The self-induced darkness entertained through failure,
A stealth misdirection,
A slight of hand,
A spiritual birth occurring, waiting,
The recognition of a multitude of wounds,
The head bleeding,
The eyes sore,
The ears ringing,
The mouth tasting of blood,
Spitting forgotten foreign words,
A hint of truth within the brutality,
Driving alone shouting and screaming,
Dreaming of violence, dreaming of prayer,
The hands grow old,
Prayer affirmed, a gift intent,
The feet ache,
Sitting still becomes solace,
The back is stiff,
It takes an outside force to cease motion,
In kindness to remember,
Looking back removed from anger,
How did I ever get here?
God is good and all giving!