During fellowship over the weekend, coinciding with reoccurring conversations, there is a focus upon current events, politics and the madness of the world. Names like Michael Voris—Church Militant, Michael Matt—Remnant Newspaper, conspiracy theories, speculation upon the end of the world, the importance of President Trump’s reelection, globalist and active principalities, demonic influence, Satanic efforts, and the anti-Christ. My gut instinct is to quietly recite to myself: “NO! NO! NO! Spiritually, I refuse to be brought into the insanity.” This morning a personal reading brought forth insight.
…in the order of grace, the nothingness into which I relapse when left to myself is sin. How often “I am brought to nothing, and I knew not.” And what can I find to be proud of in that nothingness?
Give me grace, O my God, to know myself only as much as is necessary to keep me humble. If I fully realized the insignificance of my own being and the extent of my malice which is capable of offending Thee in diverse inconceivable ways, I fear I should be so filled with horror at myself that I should give way to despair!
We have within ourselves, in our own experience and feelings, a knowledge of how greatly our frail and fallen nature is inclined to evil. Today we go and confess certain of our faults, making the resolution not to fall into them again, and tomorrow not withstanding we commit them once more.
At one moment we make up our minds to acquire a certain virtue, and the next we do just the contrary by falling into the opposite vice. At the time when we make these resolutions of amendment we imagine that our will is firm and strong, but we soon perceive how weak and unreliable it is, for we behave as though we had never purposed amendment at all.
Our heart is like a reed that bends before every wind, or a barque (sailing ship) tossed by every wave. It is sufficient to meet with an occasion of sin, a movement of passion, a breath of temptation, for the will to yield to evil even when in certain moments of fervor we seem most firmly rooted in good. This is a strong reason for us to be humble and not to presume anything of ourselves, praying to God continually that He may deign to confirm in our hearts that which He works through His grace. “Confirm, O God, what Thou hast wrought in us.” •
Some masters of the spiritual life teach that it is better to divert our thoughts from certain heroic actions in which our weakness might lead us to doubt whether we should succeed or not; for example: if a persecutor should come and summon me either to renounce the faith or to die, how should I act? or, if I were to receive a terrible public insult, should I .practice patience or resentment? No, they say it is not well to indulge in such imaginings because our weakness may cause us to fall before the idea of such a trial. But should such thoughts arise, we can turn them to our good and use our very weakness to practice humility. When such ideas occur it would be well to say: I know what I ought to do on such and such an occasion, but I know not how far I can trust myself, because I know by personal experience that “my strength is weakened through poverty,” and I have learnt on several occasions how my reason becomes blinded, my judgement weakened,’ and my will often perverted easily to evil. O my God, I can do all things if I am strengthened by Thy help; but without this I can do nothing, nor shall I ever be able to do anything! If I had to confess Thee I should miserably deny Thee; if to honor Thee by patience I should give way to vengeance; if I had to obey Thee I should offend Thee by disobedience. “Thou art a Strong helper: when my strength shall fail, do not Thou forsake me.” Thy saying is true, 0 my God: “Without Me you can do nothing.” Not only without Thee can I never do any meritorious act of virtue whatsoever, but I cannot do anything at all; as St Augustine instructs: “Whether it be little or whether it be great, it cannot be done without Him without whom nothing can be done.” –”Humility of Heart” by Capuchin Gaetano (Cajetan) Maria da Bergamo
