The struggles of a saint

Insofar as I know, my confessor, as I say–who was a truly holy father from the Society of Jesus–gave this same reply. He was very discreet and deeply humble; and this humility that was so great brought upon me many trials. For since he was a learned and very prayerful man, and the Lord didn’t lead him by this path, he didn’t trust in himself. He suffered many great trials in many ways on my account. I knew that they told him to be careful of me, that he shouldn’t let the devil deceive him by anything I told him; they brought up examples to him of other persons. All of this made me anxious. I feared that I would have no one who would hear my confession, but that all would run from me. I did nothing but weep.

By God’s providence he wanted to continue to hear my confession, for he was such a great servant of God that he would have put up with anything for God; so he advised me that I shouldn’t turn aside from what he told me or fear that he would fail me, and that I shouldn’t offend God. He always encouraged and comforted me. He always ordered me not to hold anything from him. I never did. He told me that if I followed this advice the devil wouldn’t be able to harm me even if the vision did come from him, but that rather the Lord would draw good out of the evil the devil desired to do my soul. This father strove for my soul’s perfection in every way he could. Since I had so much fear, I obeyed him in everything, although imperfectly; for on account of these trials he suffered a great deal during the three years or more that he was my confessor. –-St Teresa of Avila from her autobiography

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