The highest angel likes nothing better than to satisfy My will in all things. And if it knew that My Glory depended on pulling out nettles and other weeds, this would be what it would most desire to do. –Henry Suso ‘Little Book of Eternal Wisdom’.
I have loved her and sought her out from my youth and have chosen her for my bride”. (Book of Wisdom)
An undisciplined spirit, as it first ventured forth, strayed onto the paths of error. There, eternal Wisdom in an indescribable spiritual form confronted him and drew him by means both pleasant and unpleasant until it brought him to the right path of divine truth. And, when he reflected deeply on how wondrously he had been drawn, he addressed God thus: “Dear gentle Lord, since I was a child, my spirit has been searching with unslaked thirst for something. And what this was, Lord, I have never yet fully grasped. For many a year, Lord, I have pursued it feverishly, yet could never attain it because I never really knew what it was; and yet it is something that draws my heart and soul to itself and without which I cannot ever really find peace. Lord, in the early days of my childhood I would search for it as I saw others do before me—in creatures. And more I sought, the less I found; and the closer I came, the farther away I got. Concerning every form that I looked at I heard an inner voice, and before I would occupy myself with it completely or devote myself to it in peace, it would say: ‘This is not what you are searching for’. Always I had this force driving me away from all things. Lord, my heart is raging to possess it because I want it….
Response of eternal wisdom: Don’t you recognize it? It has, after all, lovingly embraced you and has often stood in your path until it gained you for itself alone.
The servant: Lord, I never saw or heard it at all. I don’t know what it is.
Response of eternal wisdom: That is not surprising. It was caused by your intimacy with creatures and your unfamiliarity with it. But now open your inner eyes and see who I am. It is I, eternal Wisdom, who chose you for myself in eternity with the embrace of my eternal providence. I have blocked your path whenever you would have been separated from me if I had let you be. You always found something repugnant in all things. This is the surest mark of my chosen ones, that I want them all for myself.
–Henry Suso ‘Little Book of Eternal Wisdom’
Jesus told his disciples,
“If any man would come after me,
and take up his cross and follow me.
If any man would come after me,
and take up his cross daily and follow me.
–Matthew 16:24
–Luke 9:23
“When one loves, one does not calculate.” –St Therese of Lisieux
― 
When one fails to advance in perfection because one fails to advance in humility, it is easy to grow discouraged and backslide. Lost is the spirit of perseverance. Replacing it is the delusion that doubling up on spiritual exercises will increase satisfaction. Instead one only feels more aridity. Motivated by self-seeking rather than by self-denial, one misses the mark of real advancement, stubbornly refusing to take counsel and reasonable instruction from one wiser than he or she. It is hard to admit that what seems so right has proven to be so wrong. Moral deeds have been done, but for the motive of increasing joy in oneself, not submission to God. Hardly anyone escapes this danger. Before long this “outstanding citizen,” this “pillar of the church,” this “mirror of virtue” grows slack in love of God and charity to others and may even fall into corruption he or she so publicly abhorred.
—Susan Muto ‘John of the Cross for Today: The Ascent”. The originator of the wonderful term ‘wasting time gracefully’
There are certain spirits I am immediately and intensely attracted to. Susan Muto is one. I find her to be a beautiful woman, immensely wise in the subtly of profound spiritual growth. I enjoy contemplating her physical beauty as a woman. I heard it said that though St John of the Cross is a name tossed about by many, few truly comprehend the depth and ascension of his thought. The previous statement basing the idea of comprehension upon a demanding utilitarian aspect. Vital comprehension of St John of the Cross involves application rather than knowing. From a distance, I rest assured Dr Susan Muto is a soul attuned to St John of the Cross.
Does He aim at detaching a soul from earthly things and uniting her strongly to Himself? He will deluge her with light and love. Plunged in God, of whose presence and action she is delightfully conscious, inflamed with the holy ardors of unitive love, fascinated by the divine beauty and goodness and by the tenderness of a Lord so great and holy for His miserable creature, she becomes instantly silent and contemplates Him in a hush of admiration. She envelopes her Well-Beloved with a long, lingering look wherein jostle each other the emotions of astonishment, joy, and love, which hold her captive. She enjoys her God in a union full of peace and sweetness, like St John reposing on the bosom of His beloved Master. –Abbot Vital Lehodey
I like the use of the female pronoun in the above quote. Embracing manliness, masculinity to a brutish nature, the passivity necessary for the proper reception of God calls for a female receptivity, a complete penetrating of self. In the world, I am a strong man. Before God, I find it more appropriate to think of myself as a weak impoverished bride–a King marrying a wretched peasant child.
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