Scripture

Aug142020

My Spiritual Life

As for your birth, the day you were born your navel cord was not cut;
you were neither washed with water nor anointed,
nor were you rubbed with salt, nor swathed in swaddling clothes.
No one looked on you with pity or compassion
to do any of these things for you.
Rather, you were thrown out on the ground as something loathsome,
the day you were born.

Then I passed by and saw you weltering in your blood.
I said to you: Live in your blood and grow like a plant in the field.
You grew and developed, you came to the age of puberty;
your breasts were formed, your hair had grown,
but you were still stark naked.
Again I passed by you and saw that you were now old enough for love.
So I spread the corner of my cloak over you to cover your nakedness;
I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you;
you became mine, says the Lord GOD.
Then I bathed you with water, washed away your blood,
and anointed you with oil.
I clothed you with an embroidered gown,
put sandals of fine leather on your feet;
I gave you a fine linen sash and silk robes to wear.
I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms,
a necklace about your neck, a ring in your nose,
pendants in your ears, and a glorious diadem upon your head.
Thus you were adorned with gold and silver;
your garments were of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth.
Fine flour, honey, and oil were your food.
You were exceedingly beautiful, with the dignity of a queen.
You were renowned among the nations for your beauty, perfect as it was,
because of my splendor which I had bestowed on you,
says the Lord GOD.

But you were captivated by your own beauty,
you used your renown to make yourself a harlot,
and you lavished your harlotry on every passer-by,
whose own you became.

Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you when you were a girl,
and I will set up an everlasting covenant with you,
that you may remember and be covered with confusion,
and that you may be utterly silenced for shame
when I pardon you for all you have done, says the Lord GOD.

Prophet Ezekiel

spacer
Aug112020

God works for good

Although sin is in itself a great evil—in fact the greatest of all evils—still under a certain form it can prove a good to us if we know how to avail ourselves of it as a means of exercising humility. How many great sinners have become great-saints without having done anything more than keep their sins constantly before their eyes, and humble themselves in shame and confusion before God and their fellowmen!

Those words: “Against Thee only have I sinned,” which David carried in his heart, contributed more than anything else to make him a saint. And the angelic St Thomas in explaining the verse of St Paul to the Romans: “This is the good that profits them that love God, for when they fall from the love of God by sin they then return to Him more humble and more cautious.” –“Humility of Heart” by Capuchin Gaetano (Cajetan) Maria da Bergamo

A reliable witness always tells the truth,
but an unreliable one tells nothing but lies.
Conceited people can never become wise,
but intelligent people learn easily.
Stay away from foolish people;
they have nothing to teach you.
Why is a clever person wise?
Because he knows what to do.
Why is a stupid person foolish?
Because he only thinks he knows.
Foolish people don’t care if they sin,
but good people want to be forgiven.
Your joy is your own;
your bitterness is your own.
No one can share them with you.

Proverbs 14

spacer
Aug072020

Daily dose

See, upon the mountains there advances
the bearer of good news, 
announcing peace!
Celebrate your feasts, O Judah,
fulfill your vows!
For nevermore shall you be invaded
by the scoundrel; he is completely destroyed.
The LORD will restore the vine of Jacob,
the pride of Israel,
Though ravagers have ravaged them 
and ruined the tendrils.Woe to the bloody city, all lies,
full of plunder, whose looting never stops!
The crack of the whip, the rumbling sounds of wheels;
horses a-gallop, chariots bounding, 
Cavalry charging, the flame of the sword, the flash of the spear,
the many slain, the heaping corpses,
the endless bodies to stumble upon!
I will cast filth upon you,
disgrace you and put you to shame;
Till everyone who sees you runs from you, saying,
“Nineveh is destroyed; who can pity her?
Where can one find any to console her?”

Prophet Nahum

Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, But whoever loses his life for my sake will find it… –Gospel of Matthew

‘I am getting close. The battle has been horrible. My nature is extremely and habitually sinful.’

‘What are you getting close to?’

‘I’m getting close to understanding how much God loves me.’

Powerful Mass today at the Cathedral. 18 nuns in habits, white gowns and black head covering, attended Mass. Half of them sat behind me. For some reason it made me want to cry. I thought of Mary, how wonderful it must have been to be absolutely pure. These religious sisters striving for purity.

spacer
Jul292020

A Chosen Life

Woe to me, mother, that you gave me birth!
a man of strife and contention to all the land!
I neither borrow nor lend,
yet all curse me.
When I found your words, I devoured them;
they became my joy and the happiness of my heart,
Because I bore your name,
O LORD, God of hosts.
I did not sit celebrating
in the circle of merrymakers;
Under the weight of your hand I sat alone
because you filled me with indignation.
Why is my pain continuous,
my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
You have indeed become for me a treacherous brook,
whose waters do not abide!
Thus the LORD answered me:
If you repent, so that I restore you,
in my presence you shall stand;
If you bring forth the precious without the vile,
you shall be my mouthpiece.
Then it shall be they who turn to you,
and you shall not turn to them;
And I will make you toward this people
a solid wall of brass.
Though they fight against you,
they shall not prevail,
For I am with you,
to deliver and rescue you, says the LORD.
I will free you from the hand of the wicked,
and rescue you from the grasp of the violent.

  1. Jeremiah
spacer
Jun292020

Enduring in Spirit

Returning to daily Mass at a Church I’ve become loyal to, I realized it took me six months to make it to the church under such conditions. The Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul brought forth scripture:

…Suddenly the angel of the Lord stood by him
and a light shone in the cell.
He tapped Peter on the side and awakened him, saying,
“Get up quickly.”
The chains fell from his wrists.
The angel said to him, “Put on your belt and your sandals.”
He did so.
Then he said to him, “Put on your cloak and follow me.”
So he followed him out,
not realizing that what was happening through the angel was real;
he thought he was seeing a vision.
They passed the first guard, then the second,
and came to the iron gate leading out to the city,
which opened for them by itself.
They emerged and made their way down an alley,
and suddenly the angel left him.
Then Peter recovered his senses and said,
“Now I know for certain
that the Lord sent his angel
and rescued me from the hand of Herod
and from all that the Jewish people had been expecting.”

The last six months have been intense personally and nationally/globally. I am convinced God is calling forth a deeper faith. Trust being the virtue of wisdom. During the COVID isolation, lacking daily Mass, a profound self-awareness emerged. I understood myself better. A deep-seated anger revealed itself. Without the Church, without God, bareness abandons me to a broken psychology. I understand what it feels like to desire war, to fantasize about violently dispensing with enemies. My mind can be cruel, judgmental, and harsh–consumed with being right. Reading the Remnant Newspaper online and other conservative/traditional secular and religious sources, I discovered similar minds, yet also cautionary instincts warned. Spiritually, I must trust God more than rely upon myself. In confession, a priest warned against a reactionary life, always responding to others. A reactionary mind, rather than concentrating upon my prayer life and relationship with God and the Church, allows the world to dictate. If I permit others, especially those of opposing views, to direct the narrative of my mind, I have allowed the world to usurp God. It may be true as GK Chesterton wrote in “The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare”, however I am convinced God is not calling me to defeat dark forces. God desires my loving attention and trust. Chesterton’s turn of the century insight applicable to current social conditions:

First of all, what is it really all about? What is it you object to? You want to abolish Government?”

“To abolish God!” said Gregory, opening the eyes of a fanatic. “We do not only want to upset a few despotisms and police regulations; that sort of anarchism does exist, but it is a mere branch of the Nonconformists. We dig deeper and we blow you higher. We wish to deny all those arbitrary distinctions of vice and virtue, honor and treachery, upon which mere rebels base themselves. The silly sentimentalists of the French Revolution talked of the Rights of Man! We hate Rights as we hate Wrongs. We have abolished Right and Wrong.”

Centered upon eternity, being right or wrong is being abolished for me in a certain sense. Opposite of the anarchist Chesterton identifies, I find the elimination of being right or wrong in the eyes of others a necessity. I am convinced my contemplative spirit does not call for open engagement. It disrupts my spirit, forcing upon my mind alcoholic thoughts. I need an easier softer way: Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. 

With the reality separation occurs. The personal complications of my life have created a distancing from certain family members. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. I find those who do not support, nor nourish, my spiritual life are being eliminated. In a delightful way, their presence becomes greater as they become fixtures within my prayer life. I remember my time with the Franciscans, the religious prayer life, and the authenticity of those in my family being distant, yet so deeply entrenched within my prayers. My love for them grew. My appreciation for them increased. Pleasant memories of childhood experiences would arise.

Lord do with me as you please,
Your wisdom sustains,
Your grace maintains,
Your protection ever present,
Overwhelms senses and mind.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who have been called according to His purposes. Romans 8:28

spacer
Jun282020

Purposeful Good News

Jesus said to his apostles:
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet’s reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man
because he is a righteous man
will receive a righteous man’s reward.
And whoever gives only a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones to drink
because the little one is a disciple—
amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.”

Gospel of Matthew chapter 10

spacer
spacer