Archives

Man Tower meets Enzio

Towers

Towers

Coming forth from the wagon, Alberto noticed a huge flock of birds descending upon the surrounding mountain trees. Vast and dark in flock, the winged ones alighted upon branches, disappearing amongst leaves; silent, an unseen legion of unknowing witnesses. The diminutive castle, ancient in appearance, harmonized with its surrounding, appearing as if the creator of the mountain created the castle itself. ‘Quaint’, Alberto thought, ‘he has his own castle and tower’. An admirer of no homes, entering, he admired the miniature Mount Subasio fortress. Blindfolds removed, the young women stood within. They did not appear disturbed, yet they would not speak. They knew the disdain Montaninus possessed for them. The man would sink a blade into their heart as soon as look at them. The wicked knew well the ways of evil intent, sensing wicked presence precisely.

“Montaninus you gratuitously bring Man Tower to my humble maternal tower, the mother of my elderly years—I think of my home as my mother. I draw to a close my life through a concentration upon birth. A proper birth needs a mother. My home provides, a father in waiting divides. The comfort of the creator enticing within. The seeker follows. The Lord is God, the mighty God, the great king over all the gods. He holds in his hands the depths of the earth and the highest mountains as well. He made the sea; it belongs to him, the dry land, to, for it was formed by his hands. The birds egress from their northern lairs. I am sure you noticed them. They find rest once more in the mountain forest I call home. It is a good sign. They perched as you arrived. They watch, intending protection for our meeting. My guardian angel is with them, lifting their wings. Your guardian angel is amongst them also Man Tower. She is a cherub, barely able to perceive due to the burden of many tears and her attention constantly affixed upon the Almighty. You should take greater heed of your little protector knight of no mercy. Tell me what is happening, Man Tower, for I feel a child is born, a baby you observed being baptized. You saw something. You saw a gifted baby for all. The days immediately following the Epiphany octave; the day of Our Lord’s baptism in the River Jordan by the saintly John—one who would dare to identify him as the sacrificial lamb of the Old Testament, the visitation of the magi—kings of the gentile world knowing and honoring. There was a terrible three day wind storm after the baptism of the baby you observed. The forces were so strong trees were uprooted throughout our homeland; men and animals killed in the obliteration. All things are a sign unto themselves and the world enveloping them. I have been meditating upon all this, contemplating deeply the mysteries you present, and the mysteries presented to you. Totality includes individual welfare within the greater battle and your battles are so intense. The Benedictines at Mount Cassino communicated to me the entirety of events through a winged messenger. We share an affinity for messenger doves. God is screaming and we share the news a thousand years after the death of his son. God has placed amongst us one to renew the spirit, one to enflame the heart, one to open ancient doors while closing contemporaries, a thousand years is too long. One is here to bolster the collapsed church, lifting it from the muck and mire of centuries of waywardness. A thousand years have passed and still we are left wanting, longing for love. No one needs to declare it has been over a thousand years since Our Lord’s departing and resurrection, since the news is so startling in silence, conspicuous in the absence of a second coming. His return waits, patience perseveres, while temptations assault. The ways of God are stern; similar to yours, mighty killer of the battlefield. The gift God sends displays his power. The baby will parch the earth, burning from it foulness. Immediately years of famine will result, suffering for over five years, struggling to feed one another families will be ripped asunder. Many will die. The elderly crossing over before their allotted time, the children crying to the distress of their mothers, the sick being consumed by their illness due to a lack of strength, all suffering as they self-righteously convince themselves they should not suffer. Suffering will become a means of rebellion, discernment is poor amongst the rabble. It always has been thus the need for prophets and the crucifying of a Divine Son. There will be five plus years of cleansing through famine.”

The overwhelming prodigious words of the old man descended, seemingly coming from the castle itself. The elderly man and his space were as one, his words coming forth from his surroundings. All at once, slowly intense, in the manner of casting a spell, the old man spoke his words as if he drew them from his creation, his home. Wearing the black and white vestments of a Cistercian monk, he circled Alberto, placing his right hand upon his back, rubbing to create friendliness, the easing of tension. Alberto slipped into a battle trance, absorbing the assault of words, the immensity of profound ideas rapidly rained upon him. Clearing his mind of distractions, as he would upon the battlefield, his awareness focused into acute perception, holding not to ideas, rather opting for intuition.

“So here is Man Tower. Much is spoken of you. It is good I do not honor words, words are for those who desire to manipulate. I have grown into an aged man who understands the heart. For where a man’s heart rests, there rests his treasure. The mysteries of life intrigue me more than the gossip and scheming of man. The sight of many is limited. The sight of one alone, amidst the ancient, solely answering to Christ, discerning proper advice, can penetrate piercingly. We will spend time together. There is more. Now though I must spend time with my beloveds, my sweethearts who fill my life with joy.”

The two young ladies, giggled, one of them walking to Enzio the Wise with a limp that previously did not exist.

“Papa it is so good to see you. Your little sunshine has been miserable, overwhelmed by sadness. My heart rejoices in your presence. In such a cruel world, you are a refuge of the greatest kindness and giving.”

“We missed you so much.”

“Your leg my darling, what has happen to you?”

“It is nothing my honor. You must not think of it. You are older, in need of greater comfort than me. How is your health? Are you feeling fine? It is you who should receive caring attention.”

“No. It is not about me. Your leg? It is awful the way you walk. I must know, tell me young pretty one. If I could, I would reach up to the sky and bring the clouds down for you. Mountains I would smash, if they dared to present themselves as an obstacle. Waters I would divide in order to allow your passing. Anything I could do, I would do for you. You are my sunshine and without your rays of exquisiteness I wallow in sorrow.”

“I hurt my leg servicing my family. My mother is sick and now her sister and her children live with us. I have to care for all of them. Cleaning, cooking, bathing the old and young, male and female, I must care for them all. You know my father was killed in war. I try my best kind noble sir, yet I stepped in a hole while carrying water and damaged my leg. It is nothing. I will suffer through it. It is enough to see your kind face and know in the world goodness lives.”

“You give me too much credit. It is you that brings joy. You work so hard for your family. You give so much for others. If I could only do more for you, ease all of your burdens. Yet it is not for me darling. Thy will be done. Only one purpose exists for you. Becoming a saint is your calling in life, the attainment of heaven your sole concern. The underprivileged have nothing more to do than focus upon salvation. It is a rite of passage. The nobly wealthy carry responsibility, yet all are burdened with accountability.”

The other young lady approached the staunchly posed Enzio.

“Sir it is good we came to you at this time for I also have troubles. My husband to be, the man I have told you so much about, has run off with a woman of ill repute, a wench of drunkenness and ill begotten ways. I loved him since childhood. I thought he would be a good husband, yet he could not refrain from evil ways. I am embarrassed to tell you the news. I am a fool. Too easily, I give my heart away. The wretched man robbed my father before leaving for unknown lands with the trull. I know not what to do. My errors have cost my family their reputation. I considered suicide, convinced it is the only solution. I prepared to throw myself from a bridge into the Chiagio when my sweet friend, in all the pain she suffers, persuaded me to seek your wisdom. And my father, my lord, I could not bring the shame of leaving him to the wicked tongues of neighbors. Even enduring the harshest of cruelties, a daughter breaks her father’s heart by the taking of her own life. Cowardly escaping into death only means further misery due to the reality I would be betraying those who cared for me as an infant. In your company, once again, I find comfort, yet left to my own devices I allow terror to seize my life.”

“Oh my sweet children. Both of you, my lovelies, endure pain that reaches deep into the depths of your souls. Never underestimate the malice of the wicked one. He thrills in your demise. He wants to see you tormented. God only desires happiness for you. Come let us go inside and sit by the fire, consoling one another. We are together. We have one another to inspire joy, to lift each other’s heart to Our Lord. I will read you some scripture, poetry, and tell you stories of my youth. I can tell you how I was able to overcome obstacles placed in my path. You can tell me stories of your childhood. I love stories of animals and discovery. Possibly, I can inspire you, lead you closer to God. It is my heart’s sole intent. Through the realization of my heart may you find the strength and solace necessary to manage the travesties of life. Inside, there is hope. Inside, there is charity. Inside, there is faith.”

“My kind dignified sir your words always arouse faith, hope and charity, however at this time I also need other assistance.”

“Why of course angel. Treasures I can and will supply. Both of you must know I will always be there for you.” Enzio addressed Alberto. “Man Tower explore my land. It prepares for glorious bloom. It will also prepare your soul for our words together. I must care for these sweet children of God. I will ring the bell in time, calling you to come for food and conversation. Montaninus show our esteemed guest about.”

The elderly one escorted the two pretty young women into his home. It seemed the two were trying to outdo each other in the amount of tears they could shed. Alberto watched in amazement. Damning Enzio earlier in the day, the young ladies now expertly portrayed innocent victims confronted by heartrending experiences. Within the tavern it was obvious what the two were. They were harlots; women of song, wine, men and nights of excess, entertaining at the tavern, leading bawdy drinking songs and dancing for the drunkards. Boyfriends multiplied.

“It is best not to judge Alberto. It only confounds to consider his behavior with those young ladies. The younger one has a hateful heart, which grows harder with every visit. I watch her closely, fearing she will explode in violent behavior. I have warned Enzio, yet he says I worry too much. He is truly one of wisdom. It is a strange game he plays with them. I will show you his water garden. You can witness his brilliance. This matter regarding the two young ladies I cannot understand. I have tried to convince him of their true nature. He will not listen, declaring them to be blessed children of God.” Montaninus strode to the entryway. “Let us see if we can find the wolf pack. I think you will enjoy observing them. Never have I seen wolves the size of those that stalk the lands of Enzio.”

Alberto could hear the water falling before he was able to see the magnificent site. The old man managed to divert a stream, forcing the water to flow over self-created rocky formations. The cascading series of step-down waterfalls, shimmering with whiteness in its plummeting, emptied into standing water, a pond. Disregarding his clothing and footing, Alberto walked amidst the water, admiring the lovely sound and beautiful images. Birds gathered as trout swam in the crystal clear pond water. Plant life flourished, providing a canopy over various spaces. A woodchuck slept in one of the rocky cubby holes; a bevy of lotuses blossoming a top their leaves sunning beneath. Squirrels pranced within the trees and upon the ground. Alberto made his way to the center waterfall, the largest. Pouring over accumulated slab rock, uproariously, the water fell. Gravity pulling, the descending water showered a life-size crucifix carved from stone. Alberto penetrated the water, placing himself before Jesus’ dead body continuously washed. He realized up close, details of the statue were not highly defined. Shoreline viewing presented a blurred, vibrating, crucifix, hydrolysis shrouding. Up close, nothing more defining could be attained. Alberto moved completely underneath the water, running his hand over the crucifix. He wished Riccio could witness the wonderful chiseling. His squire taught himself to be a skillful carver. He would appreciate the old man’s artwork. Alberto thoroughly soaked himself, cleansing himself underneath the water. The water was cold, increasing in flow the past several days due to an increase in higher elevation snow melting. Feeling the bite of the bitterly cold water, he was thinking of Ricco. The young man, he no longer thought of as a boy. The killing of the bull made him proud.

The time with his mother and training Ricco lifted Alberto from the alienation he so deeply entrenched during his time under Barbarossa, throughout his whole life. Amongst many, he was alone. Amidst his armor, violent extremes became a sheltering reality. Establishing a beastly state, he manically pursued status as the cruelest of knights. Constraints lifted, lucidity intact, he freed himself to do evil, placing the mask of victimhood over his soul. He opened doors his deranged childish mind feared not in the least. Death meant nothing. Once open, doors that should have never been opened would not close. There were consequences. Negative energy, forces of evil, poured through. The wounded child became an authentic wicked man; the innocent one attaining the inhuman through time and hate. The innocence that allowed him to give birth to his wounded thoughts and actions was eradicated in the aftermath. Communication never a strong characteristic for Alberto as a child, it became impossible as he transformed into the Man Tower, or the Fierceness of Silence as Montaninus called him. There were other names: the Ravager, the Vanquisher, as well as Polyphemus.

Underneath the manmade waterfall, resting against the crucifix lacking detail, Alberto bathed under the falling water, giving no consideration to the souls in purgatory burning through coldness in God’s presence. He stripped himself of all clothing. The cold water soothed. Moments amassed to this moment. Peace managed to emerge. Stripped down in clothing, lacking armor for years, teaching one dependent upon him, easing a mother into death, malleability emerged. Now he cleansed in the old man’s waterfall. Montaninus watched, understanding to a certain degree. Here was the extreme knight he knew from warring days, an unpredictable man prone to abnormal behavior, seeking a loftier existence, a temporal warhound mystic.

Slightly annoyed, Montaninus realized he would have to attain clothing for the giant. He wanted to search out the wolves and Man Tower could not go naked, or in soaked clothing. He made his way into Enzio’s home, remarkably able to find an oversized monk’s robe similar to the style Enzio wore. In various sizes, the strange old man stocked over twelve of the robes. Montaninus never noticed the fact before. Returning to the water garden, he found Alberto still soaking underneath the falling water, positioned at the feet of the crucifix

“Let’s be off wild man. I want to find the wolves. You have to be freezing. Come now remove yourself from the water.”

Alberto obeyed, dressing himself in the robe.

“A monk’s habit?”

“It is all the old eccentric possesses.”

“I would like to see the wolves.”

“You are speaking? Did the cold water loosen your brain?”

Montaninus, also having adorned a monk’s robe, led the way as the men left the water garden and made their way into the forest. Hidden atop a cliff, Montaninus explained the excellence of the vantage point. He knew the forest from the days of his youth. His parents would send him to spend time with Enzio, learning scripture, and the ways of the old recluse. Within the hour, the two spotted something moving. Moving stealthy, they positioned themselves above the motion and in front of the advancement. The clearing they spied upon soon greeted the slow moving animal they tracked. It was an old horse, stumbling more than walking. Out of its right mind, the beast walked as if it was bound for its own funeral. As the feeble horse made its way toward the center of the clearing, a rushing noise followed by a chorus of growling burst upon the scene. The wolves made their appearance. Circumambulating before assuming attack positions, the wolves lowered their heads, bearing teeth in unison. The horse halted. Conceding to death, it hopelessly waited. The largest of the wolves, the size of a pony, moved forward.

Mesmerized by its raised lips and exposed savage teeth, Alberto marveled at the idea of being accompanied in battle by such a beast. He recalled the Roman Falvious Aetius, a general who led a remarkable halting of the advancement of Atilla the Hun in Gaul—superior numbers of horseback warriors staunched by a smaller number of riderless soldiers—engineering, siege engines, weaponry, proving the equal of the amassing of men and horses, Falvious rode with a wolf. The downing of the horse was over quickly, the tired beast never resisting, conceding to death before the first attack. The killing completed, Montaninus and Alberto watched throughout the feasting. The wolves fought ferociously amongst one another for prime feeding spots. Bloodied and sullied, they rested near the corpse once satisfied. The leader of the pack sat panting, looking about. His wandering eyes, passing by Montaninus and Alberto, paused. Standing, retracing his vision, sniffing the air, he studied the location of their hiding.

“Those are the wolves of Enzio. You witnessed them at their best. Their leader senses our watching. His stomach is full, he will do nothing. If he was hungry he would behave differently. He would wander in the opposite direction with the intention of circling back behind us. Enzio claims the wolves know him, leaving him alone. I know he walks through the forest with his walking stick unconcerned. Never has he encountered trouble. However, I say, with beasts like that calling the forest home, I would not be so brave. Let us be off. By now, the crazy old man should be through with the immature company. He is excellent with food. He will have something made, most likely a tasty stew and bread. Watching the wolves feast must have made you hungry. For a warrior, such is the case. The wolves remind me of you in battle: focused, thorough, and efficient.” Montaninus laughed at his own humor.

spacer

Avoiding Cleverness

Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent. –St. John of the Cross

spacer

Interior Purgation

The highest angel likes nothing better than to satisfy My will in all things.  And if it knew that My Glory depended on pulling out nettles and other weeds, this would be what it would most desire to do.  –Henry Suso ‘Little Book of Eternal Wisdom’.

spacer

Contemplation Divine

Behold, hold and grasp passionately waiting in faith, beatific purging patience,
Let it be done, inspiration a mighty Mother, watching, taking noticing, alone with her kindness, imploring preparation,
Show me the way, contemplative divine, illuminate the mindset of negation, precipitation,
Following the fundamental non-wandering of normalcy displaced within the extraordinary, a humbling complete,
Teach me to be straight, teach be to be normal, teach me to draw unreservedly no attention upon myself, mediocrity contained, simplicity remain,
Know not the difference of hierarchy, aspiration repudiate, negate, in obedience to everything, servitude, all things immense in majesty and tribute,
Unification, nothing is a part, while still I am praying apart, dumbing down in order to avoid the devastation of spiritual pride, seven paths to stagnation, minimalism return hidden,
Secret amongst secrets, surreptitiously smile upon the darkness of clarification, eradicate progress in order to process enlightenment,
Strike harshly, stealthily smash conceptions, whisper the story of individual formation, a tale of ear-piercing woe, identity usurped,
Unification, called into the being of Three in One, salvation sharing in fertility, first a cold burning, a life after cleansing, love everlasting,
In the meantime walking wide eyed and awake, boredom embraced, idleness a gift, nothing to do, nothing to demand, nothing to declare, nothing to be, happily,
Redeemable time, wasting gracefully moments, easy does it, beyond meditation, needing no names, needing no concepts, loving refrain,
It is enough to weep amidst a smiling heart, to pour forth sorrow beneath the exhilarating scream of joy, to know no bounds while staying with inbounds, to be utterly free while under absolute obedience,
Oh Three in One, my lawlessness incomplete, wounding, allowed, constrained, protecting, guiding a guarding affectionate Heavenly Mother, one to assist a guardian angel,
Mother my inspiration, you never let me wander too far away, omnipresent, ubiquitous, how severely I must have broken your heart, you remained, adoring, showering grace,
Anchoring, showing yourself, touching deeply, finishing, completing, Mother, presenting, you made it impossible to part, amalgamated, God speed forward, together we advance.

spacer

St. Gregory of Narek

Prayer 5

Speaking with God from the Depths of the Heart

And now, I, earthbound
and preoccupied with the cares of everyday existence,
numbed by the deceitful wine of foolishness,
I, who lie in all things and am truthful in none,
marked with these faults,
how shall I come before your judgment, Just Judge,
terrible beyond words and telling, mighty God of all?
The more I compare my sinful ingratitude with your loving-kindness,
the more I prove that your law is always stronger,
and my lawlessness, always defeated.

You made me in your glorious image,
favoring a weak being like me
with your sublime likeness,
adorning me with speech,
and burnishing me with your breath,
enriching me with thought,
cultivating me with wisdom,
establishing me with ingenuity,
setting me apart from the animals,
endowing my character with a thinking soul,
embellishing me with a sovereign individuality,
giving birth as a father, nurturing as a nurse,
caring for me as a guardian,
You sowed a wayward being in your courtyard,
irrigated me with the water of life,
cleansed me with the dew of the baptismal fount,
nourished me with heavenly bread,
quenched my thirst with your blood,
acquainted me with the impalpable and unreachable,
emboldened my earthly eyes to seek you,
embraced me in your glorious light,
permitted my unclean earthly hands to make offerings to you,
honored my base, mortal ashes,
like a flicker of light,
imprinted upon a worthless wretch like me your father’s image,
awesome and blessed,
out of your love for mankind.

You did not scald my mouth for daring to call myself your co-heir,
did not reprimand me for arrogantly associating with you,
did not darken the sight of my eyes for gazing upon you,
did not exile me in shackles with those condemned to death,
did not break the wrist of my arm for improperly reaching to you,
did not crack the digits of my fingers for touching the word of life,
did not engulf me with fog for dedicating this to you, fearsome Lord,
did not crush the rows of my teeth for chewing your communion, infinite Lord,
did not turn in anger as I did with you, as with the stubborn house of Israel,
did not dishonor me at your wedding party,
I, who am unworthy of singing and dancing,
did not scold me for my disheveled clothes, I, who am disorderly,
did not cast me into the dark, my hands and feet shackled.

And I exchanged all these portions of
goodness, patience and forgiveness from you,
O beneficent, blessed and always-tolerant God,
for all manner of waywardness of the flesh and the ego,
for the wavering passions of the mind and the diversions of worldliness.
Yes, that is how, my God and Lord, I repaid you for your abundant goodness.
Thus did I offer you evil in the manner of Moses’ ingratitude.
Abandoning wisdom and pursuing foolishness,
thus did I foully dissipate the bounty of your favor with the ways of vanity,
thus in a storm of mindlessness did I lose the beacon of your ineffable grace glowing with your care,
God most high.

And although on many occasions you attempted
to draw me to you by reaching out your helping hand,
I rejected it, as the prophet accused Israel.
And although I promised and made a covenant to please you,
I did not keep it, but again perverted it into something evil.
Reverting to my old ways,
I sowed the field of my heart with thorns of sin for a harvest of dissension.
The words of the God-fearing holy prophet apply to me,
for you expected grapes but instead I sprouted thorns.
I became an unappetizing fruit of bitterness,
outcast from the garden.
Swaying violently in unsteady winds,
always blowing to and fro, I wavered.
Like the voice of blessed Job, I followed my path of no return.
I built my house upon the sands in foolishness.
Misled by the broad gate, I missed the narrow gate to life.
I closed myself off from the pilgrimage of exodus.
I spitefully uncovered the abyss of destruction.
I blocked my hearing against your teaching of life.
I covered the eyes of my soul against the cure of life.
I did not recoil from the wasting of the mind from torpor,
in spite of your trumpet of wrath.
I was not sobered by the reports of the fiery trial,
on the day of judgment.
I did not awaken from the slumber of mortal sleep.
I did not give comfort to your Holy Spirit in my bodily tabernacle.
I did not inhale the allotment of grace you granted me.
With my own hand I wreaked havoc, in the words of the proverb teller,
killing my living soul.

And what is the use of composing these meager and paltry verses
in my state of remorse which passes all measure and evades all cure?
Now it is up to you to offer life to my dead soul
and without vengeance to visit me, a condemned prisoner,
O Son of the Living God, to you be all glory.

Amen.

jVyyDVVk

The Pope on Feb. 21 confirmed St. Gregory of Narek as the Church’s newest doctor. St Gregory of Narek is known for his various poetic writings, especially a book of prayers entitled “Book of Lamentations.”

“This saint is very revered in the Armenian Church. It is not uncommon to find his book in every Armenian household throughout the Middle East…”

spacer

Imitation of Christ: Humiliation Invitation

When you strive to do the very best you know how and then, because of this, you receive from people words of scorn and contemptuous shrugs, and when they consider you in their hearts as nothing at all and think that you neither know how to nor dare to seek revenge–and if you not only stand firm and unshaken by all this but also pray lovingly to the heavenly Father for them and pardon them before him out of love–as often as you thus die to yourself out of love, just so often does my death turn green and bloom in you. When you keep yourself pure and innocent and yet your good actions are so suppressed that you are counted among the evil doers and your heart is joyful at this, and when you are so ready to forgive completely those who caused you anguish or seek your pardon for all the misery they ever caused you, as though it never happened, and, in addition, are ready to help them and render them service in word and deed in imitation of me forgiving those who crucified me, then you truly stand next to your crucified Love. When you withdraw from human advantage and comfort, except for the bare minimum you need, then your renunciation of these joys and pleasures makes up for all those who then deserted me.

When you are so free of attachments to your friends for my sake, as though they did not concern you in all things where an obstacle can occur, then I have a disciple and brother standing beneath the cross who helps me bear my suffering. The undisturbed freedom of your heart clothes and adorns my nakedness. When, in all the adversity that befalls you because of your neighbor, you are overcome for my sake and you accept the chaotic anger of all men as meekly as a silent lamb–no matter where it comes from or how quickly it arises or whether it is your fault or not–and when you thus overcome the evil of others with a good disposition, mild speech and a kind expression on your face, then the true image of my death is being fashioned in you. Truly, when I find this likeness, what pleasure and joy my heavenly Father and I experience!

Bear my bitter death in the ground of your heart, in your prayers and in the manifestation of your actions. Then you experience fully the suffering and loyal love of my pure Mother and my dear disciple.

–Henry Suso ‘Little Book of Eternal Wisdom’

4163X8ZN6BL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

spacer

T.S. Eliot more of the ‘Four Quartets’

III

O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark,
The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant,
The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters,
The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers,
Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees,
Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark,
And dark the Sun and Moon, and the Almanach de Gotha
And the Stock Exchange Gazette, the Directory of Directors,
And cold the sense and lost the motive of action.
And we all go with them, into the silent funeral,
Nobody’s funeral, for there is no one to bury.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away-
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing-
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.

You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstacy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.

shutterstock_Darkness-in-a-theater

spacer