The same prayer song twice

Let’s repeat words regarding prayer from St Jane Francis de Chantal, musing, applying to others as well: …full of faith that He is more in us than we are in ourselves… Is that saying if we quiet–soothing and healing emotional and psychological disturbances and complexities associated with identity, and remain in a state of grace, we will reveal God within prayer? I am one confident I need the sheltering of the Eucharist when making myself so vulnerable. I remember Franciscan Holy Hours, evenings especially for there were two, being blessed with extreme immersion in the sanctity of the Franciscan chapel. Absorption, losing one’s self, sensing Father David Mary seated above, a seemingly soaring, roaring eagle protecting. May we always remain under the mantle of the Queen of Heaven and the Church, abiding, obedient to priest and religious, calling upon the saints and angels, especially the defender St Michael. Let us not wander aimlessly where angels fear to tread. I advance never without the presence of the Eucharist.

Sacrifice of the Eucharist

Jun172015

An Act of Abandonment

0 sovereign goodness of the sovereign Providence of my God!
I abandon myself forever to Thy arms.
Whether gentle or severe,
lead me henceforth whither Thou wilt;
I will not regard the way through which Thou wilt have me pass,
but keep my eyes fixed upon Thee,
my God, who guidest me.
My soul finds no rest without the arms
and the bosom of this heavenly Providence,
my true Mother, my strength and my rampart.
Therefore I resolve with Thy Divine assistance,
0 my Saviour,
to follow Thy desires and Thy ordinances,
without regarding or examining why Thou dost this rather than that;
but I will blindly follow Thee
according to Thy Divine will,
without seeking my own inclinations.
Hence I am determined to leave all to Thee,
taking no part therein save by keeping myself in peace in Thy arms,
desiring nothing except as Thou incitest me to desire,
to will, to wish.
I offer Thee this desire, 0 my God,
beseeching Thee to bless it;
I undertake all it includes,
relying on Thy goodness,
liberality, and mercy,
with entire confidence in Thee,
distrust of myself,
and knowledge of my infinite misery and infirmity.
Amen!

St Jane Frances de Chantal

Patience, perseverance, prayer, a plea for mercy, and a recognition of love, the presence of Divine subsistence. Lord, You were there the whole time. Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

“We should go to prayer with deep humility and an awareness of our nothingness. We must invoke the help of the Holy Spirit and that of our good angel, and then remain still in God’s presence, full of faith that He is more in us than we are in ourselves.” –St Jane Frances de Chantal

St Jane Frances de Chantal

Jun112015

Discernment

Discerning, slipping slowly into the ethereal, while my feet trudge drudgingly though the mud, the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration waft through, with, and in sound, and vision, and yet something more. I am watching, waiting, praying, understanding there is no place else I would rather be, right now. The sisters have elevated their spiritual life to no compromise, beyond words, opinions and identity. There is a reason I have become focused upon them. Open minded, moving away from judgment, I take note of how they are doing day after day. What people think means nothing in the longevity of time and the continuing of days. Immediate community companionship, a threat, it still allows the opportunity for exercising love, while St Teresa of Avila and others exist to suppress and instruct. Everything centered in prayer. Life is truly religious. I watch, ruminating. Thy will be done. A life to be lived, yet like the single life, it is a dangerous life, even more, dangerous because it is more difficult. Marriage excites, properly holding to Tobaih and Sarah, to embrace the eternal with another, the reduction of immaturity and imperfections just really does not seem possible. Damage accumulates and surmounts within those faltering within broken single lives, children in the spiritual life, playing through selfishness, religion just a means of entertainment and the claiming of a superior identity. Patience and prayer, a struggle with my interior conflicts with my vicious inclinations and the performance of acts of the contrary virtues. To run away to the cloistered contemplative life improperly is a grave mistake. It will crush, induce insanity; sloth becoming a sin patiently, aggressively inducing a horrible death. Witnessing, there is a Trappist monastery, identity left alone, in which failure has become a way of life. God instructs through example. The vocational director, a friend I have not contacted in years, blunders deeper and deeper into insanity. My love for him is tremendous. My heartbreaks every time I speak to him. The communication becomes absurd at times. Matter of fact, I see him so clearly, the monastery will be a destination this weekend, the Ozarks always a sensation to encounter. A weekend retreat appears, becomes a reality, with the thought of ascending descending into the morning. Clearly, the need for reflection and peace manifests itself. God is good, giving, and instructing. The Trappist lifestyle lived to a struggling state of stagnation will be shared.

Ah, My child, aren’t you convinced yet that you can only take as much light, grace, variety and virtue as you know about? Of course there have been saints who have always done My Will, but they have taken from My Will only as much as they knew about. They knew that doing My Will was the greatest deed, the one that honored Me the most and which won sanctification. They acted with this intention and this they took, because there is no sanctity without My Will and no goodness or sanctity, great or small, can exist without It.

This Mary statue is from the Trappist home. It captures my fancy through the neglect shown to it. There are no Rosaries being prayed for Our Beloved Mother. The absence of prayer is tangible, knowing the situation I see it in the photo. Whenever I observe the photo, the thought is forefront of Our Holy Mother being neglected. I was with my familial mother this weekend, spending time at my father’s gravemarker with my mother and my son, sounding Hail Marys and a prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The cemetery is holy, a place of prayer; peace and quiet warmly extended, a pond center, the presence of water present. My mother spoke excitedly to us about plans to install a sitting bench in front of my father’s gravemarker. It will be her seat for praying the Rosary. Places of prayer attain a presence easily to immerse ourselves within. St Paul’s Shrine is such a divine connecting space. Our Lady of Sorrows does not possess such warmth in this statue. Still, she radiates and calls forth.

Mary Assumption

Father,
I honor the Sacred Heart Of Your Son,
Brutalized by the corruption of my deeds,
Yet symbol of the triumph of love,
Pledge to all that I am called to be,
Teach me to see Christ in all the lives that I touch,
Allow my life to be a living worship to you My Lord
through love-filled service to my brothers and sisters,
Through the Sacred Heart of Jesus wash me from my iniquities,
Cleanse my heart,
so I can love greater,
Amen

Hidden Abode, an Ozark alcove.

Jun052015

Psychological evaluation leading to contemplative fervor

Dr. Nichta visit, always an insightful day. We expanded upon the idea of personality types, the good and bad sides. I appreciate how he says a devoted gone bad is an overly dependent person. If not properly nurtured, utilized, or understood a devoted personality, one prone to loyalty, charity, and caregiving devolves into a dependent, demanding person. For myself he stressed a religiously oriented prayerful man becomes an alcoholic or a fearful man of seething anger and resentments. Thoughts for reflection, the other personality types and their associated disorder. It is not so important to define and limit, as if we are all one and nothing of the others. The subject is useful on the contemplative level in that any and all types of psychological understanding and healing produces greater clarity upon the contemplative level. A sound emotional, properly identifying, pleasant disposition man is a more effective prayerful man.

Style (tendency) Disorder

Conscientious Obsessive-Compulsive
Self-confident Narcissistic
Vigilant Paranoid
Mercurial Borderline
Leisurely Passive-aggressive
Sensitive Avoidant
Idiosyncratic Schizotypal
Adventurous Antisocial
Self-sacrificing Self-defeating
Aggressive Sadistic
Serious Depressive

We also explored the idea of other’s perceptions, stressing the importance of understanding that people are very insightful regarding comprehension of the truth about people and situations. If we are a prayerful, sincere man others see it. If the Holy Spirit fills us people recognize the matter, even if not properly identifying. I love the earlier scriptural quote on Saul and David. Saul becomes dependent upon the soothing effect of David’s music without clearly identifying it is the spirit he lacks that attracts him. His rebellion and abandoning of God produces a condition treatable for another man of God. Expanding beyond one lost and one filled, two people coming together attuned to the Holy Spirit produce even greater fruit. I wish others could witness Dr. Nichta and myself talking. Disregarding egotistical concerns or the idea that two men can accomplish what God cannot do on his own, it is the event of observing two men on fire with the Lord advancing one in the progress of understanding himself, an educated psychologically wise man of God supporting and nurturing another man of God growing in the Holy Spirit. God is truly good and providing.

Daily mass readings covering the Old Testament story of Tobit. I love the story. The idea of Raphael being the archangel of guidance I adore. Consumed with my devoted personality type, the idea of loving on a spiritual and natural level, I am moved by the experience of Tobiah and Sarah.

Tobiah arose from bed and said to his wife,“My love, get up. Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance. She got up, and they started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. And they began to say: “Blessed are you, O God of our fathers, praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever. You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.’ Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.” They said together, “Amen, amen,” and went to bed for the night.

May312015

Benediction: Corpus Christi

To go beyond formality and tradition, to see the truth and essence of words, thoughts, conceptions, possibilities and the deepest penetrating realities, I find the words of the the Benediction hymns profound, worthy of continual contemplation. Terms to consider: saving victim; immortal Godhead, one in three; native land; down in adoration falling; ancient forms departing; newer rites of grace prevailing; feeble senses fail; faith for all defects supplying; the Trinity beautifully unveiled.

O Saving Victim, opening wide
The gate of Heaven to man below:
Our foes press on from every side,
Thine aid supply, Thy strength bestow.
To Thy great Name be endless praise,
Immortal Godhead, One in Three:
Oh, grant us endless length of days
In our true native land with Thee. Amen.

All heavenly and saintly beings hail the Lord present upon the earth.

Down in adoration falling,
Lo! the sacred Host we hail;
Lo! over ancient forms departing,
Newer rites of grace prevail;
Faith for all defects supplying
Where the feeble senses fail.
To the Everlasting Father,
And the Son Who reigns on high,
With the Spirit Blest proceeding
Forth from Each eternally,
Be salvation, honor, blessing,
Might and endless majesty. Amen.

Thou hast given them Bread from Heaven.
Containing in Itself all delight.

Let us pray (oremus)
O God, Who in this wonderful Sacrament
has left us a memorial of Thy passion,
grant, we implore Thee,
that we may so venerate the sacred mysteries of Thy Body and Blood
as always to be conscious of the fruit of Thy Redemption,
Thou Who livest and reignest forever and ever.
Amen

Old Testament prefiguring. The Mercy Seat, the Monstrance.

May302015

Corpus Christi novena on the feast of the Trinity

To prepare better for Holy Communion, a soul should be disposed on two main points: it should be detached from creatures, and it should have a great desire to advance in divine love.

1. First, a soul should detach itself from all things and drive everything from its heart which is not God. “Whoever has bathed,” says the Lord, “has no need except to have his feet washed” (John 13:10). This signifies, as St Bernard explains, that in order to receive this sacrament with great fruit we should not only be cleansed from mortal sins, but our feet should also be washed, that is freed from earthly affections.

St Gertrude asked our Lord what preparation he required of her for Holy Communion and he replied, “I only ask that you come to me empty of yourself to receive me.”

2. It is most meritorious in Holy Communion to have a great desire to receive Jesus Christ and his holy love. In this sacred banquet only those who are famishing receive their fill. The blessed Virgin Mary had already said this: “He has filled the hungry with good things” (Luke 1:53).

–St Alphonsus Liguori ‘The Holy Eucharist’

Mass downtown at the Cathedral today provided a blessing regarding communion. Two young girls received their first communion together. I found it moving to notice that the extensive families supporting and celebrating with the girls seemed unfamiliar with each other, yet the two girls possessed a special bond. I felt they practiced together. Called to stand aside the priest as he prepared to serve the congregation, prepared to be the first to receive, one girl called out to the other before advancing upon the sanctuary. The two joined hands smiling with delight before ascending steps. The priest spoke in his homily about the sanctity of receiving the body of Christ for the first time, the significance of advancement for a child within the Catholic Church. What a pleasure to witness two beautiful girls so excited to receive their first communion. A true wonder for the entire familes gathered to witness two loved young ones advancing with, through, and in Christ.

I thank You, Jesus, my Divine Redeemer, for coming upon the earth for our sake, and for instituting the adorable Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist in order to remain with us until the end of the world.
I thank You for hiding beneath the Eucharistic species Your infinite majesty and beauty, which Your Angels delight to behold, so that I might have courage to approach the throne of Your Mercy.
I thank You, most loving Jesus, for having made Your- self my food, and for uniting me to Yourself with so much love in this wonderful Sacrament that I may live in You.

May272015

Settling into maturity, a quieting

Little Song

Rainbow song in the rain
The magic of dying light
Joy like a sweet refrain
Fading in the night
The Madonna’s face in pain
Life’s bitter delight…

The wind that blasts the bloom
The wreath laid on the tomb
Pleasure all too brief.
Star to darkness hurled:
Veil of beauty and grief
Over the depths of the world.

–Hermann Hesse

A return to Fort Wayne, other things, makes me feel old. This is not bad. It made me think of the collection of Hermann Hesse writing titled ‘Hymn to Old Age’. A time and a season for all things, growing old is God given. Everything from God is good. To accept aging, to find contemplative beauty within is the movement toward wisdom, the enjoyment, savoring, of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Acceptance, living within a Divine enfolding, moving deeper into unity, the Trinity emerges supreme, a goal for the attaining.

Stages

As every flower fades and as all youth
Departs, so life at every stage,
So every virtue, so our grasp of truth,
Blooms in its day and may not last forever.
Since life may summon us at every age
Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,
Be ready bravely and without remorse
To find new light that old ties cannot give.
In all beginnings dwells a magic force
For guarding us and helping us to live.
Serenely let us move to distant places
And let no sentiments of home detain us.
The Cosmic Spirit seeks not to restrain us
But lifts us stage by stage to wider spaces.
If we accept a home of our own making,
Familiar habit makes for indolence.
We must prepare for parting and leave-taking
Or else remain the slaves of permanence.
Even the hour of our death may send
Us speeding on to fresh and newer spaces,
And life may summon us to newer races.
So be it, heart: bid farewell without end.

–Hermann Hesse

Avoiding sensationalism, halting the over-thinking of common daily activities, content with not forcing the interpretation of signs from the Holy Spirit, I was amused by an incident after entering the above concentration upon old age. Walking back from the grocery store a ghetto cruiser stopped in the middle of a turn to address me, calling out, ‘Hey young man’. I chuckled. It was my neighbor with a car load of brothers. ‘What did you think of the Cavs game? Championship all the way I’m thinking’. I smiled deeply, happy to be called a young man, easily, instantly breaking into excited basketball chat. Spiritually, psychologically, maturity ripens into an advanced age, yet the child within, detached, stills takes pleasure in roaring.

Catholic Contemplative Life

A journey of recovery within Christ and His Church

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