T.S. Eliot more of the ‘Four Quartets’

III

O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark,
The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant,
The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters,
The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers,
Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees,
Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark,
And dark the Sun and Moon, and the Almanach de Gotha
And the Stock Exchange Gazette, the Directory of Directors,
And cold the sense and lost the motive of action.
And we all go with them, into the silent funeral,
Nobody’s funeral, for there is no one to bury.
I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. As, in a theatre,
The lights are extinguished, for the scene to be changed
With a hollow rumble of wings, with a movement of darkness on darkness,
And we know that the hills and the trees, the distant panorama
And the bold imposing facade are all being rolled away-
Or as, when an underground train, in the tube, stops too long between stations
And the conversation rises and slowly fades into silence
And you see behind every face the mental emptiness deepen
Leaving only the growing terror of nothing to think about;
Or when, under ether, the mind is conscious but conscious of nothing-
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
Whisper of running streams, and winter lightning.
The wild thyme unseen and the wild strawberry,
The laughter in the garden, echoed ecstasy
Not lost, but requiring, pointing to the agony
Of death and birth.

You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again.
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstacy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.

Perpetual advancement of humility, allowing proper mortification and prayer, thus a deepening and expanding of the virtues

When one fails to advance in perfection because one fails to advance in humility, it is easy to grow discouraged and backslide. Lost is the spirit of perseverance. Replacing it is the delusion that doubling up on spiritual exercises will increase satisfaction. Instead one only feels more aridity. Motivated by self-seeking rather than by self-denial, one misses the mark of real advancement, stubbornly refusing to take counsel and reasonable instruction from one wiser than he or she. It is hard to admit that what seems so right has proven to be so wrong. Moral deeds have been done, but for the motive of increasing joy in oneself, not submission to God. Hardly anyone escapes this danger. Before long this “outstanding citizen,” this “pillar of the church,” this “mirror of virtue” grows slack in love of God and charity to others and may even fall into corruption he or she so publicly abhorred.

—Susan Muto ‘John of the Cross for Today: The Ascent”. The originator of the wonderful term ‘wasting time gracefully’

There are certain spirits I am immediately and intensely attracted to. Susan Muto is one. I find her to be a beautiful woman, immensely wise in the subtly of profound spiritual growth. I enjoy contemplating her physical beauty as a woman. I heard it said that though St John of the Cross is a name tossed about by many, few truly comprehend the depth and ascension of his thought. The previous statement basing the idea of comprehension upon a demanding utilitarian aspect. Vital comprehension of St John of the Cross involves application rather than knowing. From a distance, I rest assured Dr Susan Muto is a soul attuned to St John of the Cross.

Feb182015

Lap like dogs

Dogs are loyal and show loyal gratitude to a master irrespective of the type of master he or she may be. It is because of this that a dog will follow his master, even though such master might be indifferent or even cruel, and he will follow that master into poverty, walk at his heels over the most uncomfortable roads, leave a cozy home for a miserable cabin, and then act all the while as if he were privileged to be accompanying his master. –Father John Doe ‘Sobriety and Beyond’.

And the LORD said to Gideon, “The people are still too many; take them down to the water and I will test them for you there; and he of whom I say to you, `This man shall go with you,’ shall go with you; and any of whom I say to you, `This man shall not go with you,’ shall not go.

So he brought the people down to the water; and the LORD said to Gideon, “Every one that laps the water with his tongue, as a dog laps, you shall set by himself; likewise every one that kneels down to drink.”

And the number of those that lapped, putting their hands to their mouths, was three hundred men; but all the rest of the people knelt down to drink water.

And the LORD said to Gideon, “With the three hundred men that lapped I will deliver you, and give the Mid’ianites into your hand; and let all the others go every man to his home. –Judges chp. 7

Aspiring to a greater concentration, doing all that we can in order for God to make of us all that we can be as contemplatives, let us take inspiration from Gideon’s chosen men. With haste, rapt attention, lacking self-consciousness,and unrestrained; let us lap up our devotion and dedication to all things that brings us closer to God as dogs lap up water.

Oh great and glorious God, enlighten the darkness of my heart. Grant me true faith, certain hope, and perfect charity. Grace me with wisdom and understanding so that I may carry out Thy holy and true commandments. –prayer of St Francis before the St Damiano Cross

Feb172015

Sister Ignatia: Catholicism deeply within AA

Della Gavin was born in Ireland. When she was seven, her family came to America and settled in northern Ohio. She became a musician and supported her family by teaching piano lessons. After entering the convent in 1914, she continued to teach music and became a music director for her community.

Due to overwork and stress, Sister Ignatia suffered a nervous breakdown and ulcers in the late 1920s. During her treatment, her doctor realized that it was not enough to treat the ulcers. The underlying causes of the breakdown would have to be addressed. Sister Ignatia would have to be willing to examine her life and habits and to make the changes necessary for a permanent recovery.

Part of her treatment required that she stop her professional involvement with music. In her new assignment as hospital administrator of St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, she met Dr. Robert S., one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. Together they developed the first hospital treatment program for alcoholics. It was based solidly on the principles of A.A.: total abstinence from alcohol and drugs, dependence on God, commitment to the Twelve Steps and willingness to help other suffering alcoholics.

At a time when alcoholism was regarded as a moral weakness rather than a disease, Sister Ignatia treated her patients with compassion and common sense. Perhaps because of her own descent to the depths of despair, she used her faith and the resources at her disposal to bring hope to others. With “tough love” she made them confront the realities of their addiction. She put them in touch with God and told them to “bend their knees instead of their elbows.” Helping others was a major part of recovery as people who had been sober only a few days were put to work welcoming the jittery newcomers.

This petite and humble Sister personally helped thousands of alcoholics, including priests and religious. She also counseled countless family members, encouraging them to “pull the curtain on the past” and give their recovering alcoholic another chance.

When a newly sober person was being discharged, Sister Ignatia would give him a Sacred Heart badge, and ask him to promise to return it to her before reaching for the first drink. Acceptance of the badge was a symbol of trust and commitment between the patient and Sister Ignatia, and it helped many to avoid impulsive relapses. A.A. still gives medallions to commemorate sobriety or as tangible encouragement to try the A.A. way of life.

Sister Ignatia: Catholic Pioneer of ‘Tough Love’ By Mary D. HERALD Columnist

Feb172015

Father John Doe

Introduction to Father John Doe’s book ‘Sobriety and Beyond’ written by another John Doe.

No matter how degraded an alcoholic may be; no matter how confused his or her thinking might be; no matter how burden may his soul and body be; somewhere deep within his heart and soul there is that deathless urge found in all such people to reach out beyond the sordidness, the deceit, the folly, the ignorance, the immorality, the sham, the materialism and the hypocrisy of this world to grasp that elusive something which spells kinship with the lovely, and the beautiful and the divine in life. His perfectionist nature–so sensitive and so attuned to the eternal cravings–has always…reached for the pinnacle in every endeavor. Nothing in life was ever less than perfection, albeit ever blocked by some strange unseen force. In his work, his play, his love–he ever strove with might and main for the best. But, again and again he ended in defeat– which wrenched from the death of his agonized soul the cry:

“How can my dream break through the darkness,
When always this ‘thing,’ this Vile ‘thing’
Hangs at the satanic chalice above the threshold of night,…
So that none may Pass?”

And like The “Hound of Heaven,”

“He fled Him down the nights,
And down the days–
Down the labyrinthine ways of his own mind
He sped…”

Feb 19, 2002. Today is the anniversary of Fr. Ralph Pfau’s death, also known as Father John Doe. He is believed to have been the first Roman Catholic priest to enter Alcoholics Anonymous. Fr. Pfau was born on November 10, 1904, and died on February 19, 1967. He was a priest in the Archdiocese of Indianapolis, ordained at St. Meinrad Seminary, and received an MA in Education at Fordham University. In the opening paragraph of his autobiography, “Prodigal Shepherd,” Father Pfau wrote: “All my life, I will carry three indelible marks. I am a Roman Catholic priest. I am an alcoholic. And I am a neurotic.”

Feb142015

A squire witnessing the baptizing of St Francis

Attempting a pompous portrayal of being in the power of the spirit, Pietro guided Ricco, the squire of Man Tower, to the cathedral of Saint Rufino. The destination surprised him, a place of worship possessing memories of enigmatic childish grandeur. In all of his years living in Assisi as a street orphan, he never entered the cathedral. His social status prevented such bravado. He dared not to be so bold. To enter would be a direct insult. Standing upon the steps, wonder enveloped.

Talk of the streets informed him the bell tower remained from the original church. Under construction for fifty years, the present church emerged as a magnificent structure. Romanesque at its base, the upper portion presented the most modern of architecture. Trinity in nature, the circular windows amazed Ricco. He could not determine if the windows made him imagine more: great eyes or wondrous flowers. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, he studied, contemplated, the façade of the church often as a waif. The immensity of the structure infused smallness, the individuality of being overshadowed, poverty revealing dwarfing inadequacies, while underneath a longing prevailing, a heartbeat amidst admiring. He could never determine a lasting impression, whether the structure was a work of God or solely the efforts of men.

Pillars of an impressively imposing embossed arch separated the three windows, as well as the separate doors situated amongst the Roman grid pattern of stonework below. The central grand window spawned curiosity as the three figures standing upon strange animals perched upon Roman arches, supporting the mystical rose-window, remained mysterious, mythical in nature, ancient legends bellowing. Ricco imagined them to be angels, however the lack of wings and something sinister defining created suspicion. Possibly, for unknown reasons, they were ancient Roman demons—in allegiance with the monstrous animal forms decorating the exterior north and south walls? Nothing definite, lacking knowledge, mysteries dominating, Ricco recalled spending lengthy moment studying the Cathedral. Often he slept near, hidden in alcoves, feeling protected by the close proximity of holiness.

Above the north and south doors, water drinking leopards and peacocks multiplied ambiguities. Lions, guarding the entrance—one devouring a man, the other a ram, intimidated. Under close scrutiny, sweating under a scorching sun as a boy, he studied the four mounted figures cornering the dominant window. It seemed important to figure out what the figures represented. He determined there was a wolf and lamb underneath, while above a crow and a man stood, holding a book open. He followed respected superstition by avoiding talk of the cryptic figures decorating the cathedral, fearing their power if he was to give them life through spoken words. He knew there were men of great learning, yet never would he be one. Ricco’s instinctual fear of the cathedral coincided with his apprehension regarding God. Like snow covered mountain tops, terror ruled his imagination. The vast dimension of the building surpassed everything he knew as a child; the wealth and means necessary to build such a colossus structure inconceivable. The cathedral only deepened the mystery of life. His feeling of smallness, inconsequentiality, expanded.

Pietro led Ricco inside, sensing the youth’s nervousness, realizing how lost the youth was inside the finely decorated cathedral. He guided Ricco after crossing himself with holy water. The ambience of splendor blinded the squire of Man Tower. He could not establish details. Amidst the sacred artistic sophistication, he felt the diminutive nature of his birth. The existence of the cathedral finery exposed him for what he was. He did not belong in the cathedral. It was for men of better birth. The thought of running away, escaping back to the streets, regressing to the familiar, raced through his mind.

“Relax my young friend. I have brought you to the baptism of my son Giovanni. I want you to see how righteous people of God live. We are the people destined to rule Assisi. It is God’s will. Untruths cannot enter here for this is the home of the Eucharist. Demons hold no sway here. If a possessed woman were to enter, you would hear the words: I command you to come out of her. Find yourself a place in the back and witness, make sure you can see clearly. I want you to observe, to witness, to feel in your heart, and then report to your knight everything you see. Your knight is a stubborn man. I think you are more congenial, better able to compassionately perceive truth. Maybe Man Tower has seen too much war—his heart becoming too hardened. He knows not the way of softness and families. You, in the role of a son, can help replace his heart with a natural heart, a soft heart dedicated to assisting the commune in its virtuous endeavors. Both of you are welcome to fight for goodness.”

Pietro parted from Ricco, joining the others, showing attention to his baby son. Pietro immediately took control of matters. Uncomfortable, Ricco made his way amongst the gathered, making his way to the back, closest to the door. Still, he would not lift his eyes to closely examine the cathedral. He did not notice the tall figure of his master lurking within the shadows. Man Tower prowled, following the intrigue involving his squire. Unaware, Ricco focused his eyes downward.

“Go out from him, thou unclean spirit, and make way for the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete. By my hand Francesco is baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. This sign do thou, accursed devil, never dare to violate.”

The priest having pronounced the words, submerged Pietro’s son in the baptismal font. The carved stone font majestically presented Satan supporting. The basin holding the baptismal water seemingly crashing from above, crushing Satan beneath it. Fiercely, Satan struggled to throw off the devastating weight, the mammoth burden. Proudly, exuding joy for all to see, Pietro stood next to his wife, a beautiful French woman. Another couple, godparents, received the baby from the priest.

Ricco found himself staring at the baby, tunnel vision occurring as he could see nothing but the peaceful face, suckling in its sleep upon nothing. A smile blossomed. His apprehension disappeared, his countenance dissolving. The infant opened his eyes as the priest held him up naked before all the witnessing, a nontraditional act of no explanation. Captivated, the smile would not leave Ricco’s face. He wanted to make his way to the infant, to hold him, to possess the child in his arms and see that face up close. The baby, crying as he was placed in his mother’s arms, looked about. His face turned toward Ricco. A beam of light shot through a window, shining downward, striking the child, reflecting off his body, it went out, into those witnessing. Ricco knew not where the light came from. None of the others noticed. The light stabbed Ricco in the eye, forcing him to erupt with laughter. Others looked at him, marveling the young man would be so moved by a baptism, the opening of the gates of heaven to a newborn. Ricco got up immediately, making for the exit. An indelible mark made upon his memory. The baptized infant cried out after him.

Feb122015

Wings of Desire

Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth. –John Paul II

Catholic Contemplative Life

A journey of recovery within Christ and His Church

Archives