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Farewell Discourse moving forward

Gospel of John chapter 15

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love.

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A work in formation

Farewell discourse, Savior and disciples, walking, talking, traversing, not understanding, preparing,
Unification, many rooms in the Father’s house, Heaven adore, the plenty a splendor, eternity endeavor,
‘I have been with you for so long’, desolation not an option, mortification, accepting commandments, denying desire, failing,
Father, the Holy Spirit, the Word, obedience a haven, resource love, failures fading, a step back forward,
The passion consumes, while presuming nothing, advance slowly, intensely intent, crawling advent,
Do few things, yet do them well, listen, wait, confess, pray profusely, sweat yet not blood, communion, breathe, be still amid a beating heart,
‘Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid’,
Attending mass, attentive, aware,
‘Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day’,
‘In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety’,
‘As we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ’.

Receiving in the House of God, an unworthy servant blossoms into a friend,
In the world, inevitably disturbed, shaken, wolves in sheep clothing prey, leering, pridefully lusting, circumambulating, hunting while picking fresh meat from their teeth, yearning to be, hungry denial,
Needing, false teachers assume power, insincere profession, leading astray, pretense, exercising judgment betrayed, falling snowflakes into the fire, identity lost within damnation, misery adores company,
‘Rise let us go hence’, true teacher prevail, call in a clear voice, winged words in silence, usurp incessant noise, cessation, liberate identity, integrity graced,
Perfection a process, propagate, proliferate, prune the fruit in order to produce, multiply, magnify magnificence, sweet consolation not, a bitter reward,
Stand alone in order to fall, independence generate generational enslavement, movement of wickedness, self-will run riot, dominoes falling, affecting, an island despair produces waves,
Going out, weakness bemoans the need to assert, dependence creates abundant freedom, together a man speaks properly into himself, broadening understanding, decreasing to increase, a prisoner released from confinement,
Rise above the world, abiding in Christ, death and joy to be full, welcoming, inviting time, open, honest, and willing, preserve peace, the smiling heart of a suffering unity,
Friend and foe, charity prevail, the highest perfection, to be hated demands no reciprocation, suffocate wrath, dealing unselfishly, unassuming, natural and pure, simply discreet,
Be strong in unified individuality, proper identity, self-effacing, be a kind pretty face, comprehend, know who Christ is, know who I am, love others, behave, be good, holiness attain, reveal from within,
Abandon appetite attachment to advancing aspiration, banish brilliance, castaway cleverness, ‘A servant is not greater than his master’,
Humility the ultimate tool, the weapon of mass destruction, the annihilating force, the commingling of faith, hope, and charity, be humble, embrace criticism,
No reward, persecution presume, no accolades, adulate suffering, offering woe at the foot of the cross, witness bloody wounds, infuse blood and water,

(To be expanded throughout Holy Week)

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Final Discourse meditating

Gospel of John chapter 14

18 “I will not leave you desolate; I will come to you. 19* Yet a little while, and the world will see me no more, but you will see me; because I live, you will live also. 20 In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.

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More pieces from T.S. Eliot’s ‘Four Quartets’

There is no end, but addition: the trailing
Consequence of further days and hours,
While emotion takes to itself the emotionless
Years of living among the breakage
Of what was believed in as the most reliable-
And therefore the fittest for renunciation.

There is the final addition, the failing
Pride or resentment at failing powers,
The unattached devotion which might pass for devotionless,
In a drifting boat with a slow leakage,
The silent listening to the undeniable
Clamour of the bell of the last annunciation.

Church Bells ringing

–Sweet unction: dedicated to Ann Marie Najjar

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Unrequited Expression

Sound and vision, harsh realities assailing, dismal moon shadows cast unrepentant, undefined images, the heart,
A harp, Nick Cave play a piano song for me, reverberate sadness, create space within distance, nowhere stand, abstain,
Tell a glaring tale of a starring man wounded walking, debilitating distraction, unable to reach beneath, pluck the cello, pull the trigger, the badlands
The startling totality of dead wanting, longing, hypnotic chord strumming, desiring hollowness, echoed knocking, a grain falling, waving past the nonreflecting, a banjo twang, a toothless grin, a retart incestuous and vain, all things beautiful,
Lord, I want to live a life full, the world a wonder, arms around wrapping, adventure, satiation, a stallion, a thousand drums beating,
Beyond banality, beyond lacking, beyond attracting, beyond detachment, beyond profound expression,
Beyond being right, beyond being wrong, beyond creating, beyond being, emotionally asunder, an intentional blunder, a heart broken,
A kiss of recognition, existential and underground, emotionally capitulating, amiss a mass of intentions gone awry, mistaken identity, the knot tightens,
Capturing it all in a look of resignation unseen by all, false impressions, rejection of rejection, a palpable negation, identity tossed aside,
Silently and still, efficacious, waiting upon my Man,
An aftermath, vast experiencing, knowing not needing to conceive, finality, darkness, concluding discourse, finishing fate,
My Man paining upon a cross, forgiving all cost, pierced, flooding blood and water, holy wine, holy water,
He saunters past undetected, striding, standing beyond seven feet tall, nose to the wind, focus afar, breathing slow, sackcloth and ashes,
Listen, He approaches,
Divine mercy, He loves,
Resurrected, assumption, sitting He waits,
The Eucharist.

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Perfection discipline, practice greater

St Dorotheus says, that nothing so much helps us to advance in virtue, and to acquire peace and tranquility of mind, as the opposing and resisting of our own will… ‘You are going somewhere…and you have a great mind to turn about and look at something on the way; overcome your curiosity, and do not look at it. You are in conversation—something occurs to your mind, and you think that the saying of it would make you pass for a wit; let it alone, say nothing… By chance you cast your eyes upon something brought into the house that is new, and you wish to know who brought it; ask not who did so. You see a stranger enter—curiosity urges you to know who he is, whence he comes, whither he goes, and for what business; mortify yourself by making no inquiry after him’….this exercise very much helps to produce a habit of mortifying our will; because if we accustom ourselves to renounce it in these small things, we shall the sooner be able to deprive ourselves of greater. –St Alphonsus Rodriguez ‘Christian Perfection’

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Dead Flowers

On the purgative path, we must try not to pay attention to either sensual or spiritual delights. Any inordinate attachment blocks the road to higher state of happiness for which we are destined.  Sensory goods, enjoyed outside of God, are like flowers that bloom and whither with every passing season.  There is no reason to pay heed to any of these unstable blooms if they “detain (us) from seeking (out) Love in the mountain and riversides of virtues and trials”   (Ascent of Mount Carmel)

–Susan Muto ‘Deep into the Thicket’

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