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Spiritual Direction

We read in the Chronicles of St Francis, that a secular asked a good religious, why St John Baptist, having been sanctified in his mother’s womb, should retire to the desert, and lead there such a penitential life as he did. The good religious answered him, by first asking this question: pray why do we throw salt upon meat that is fresh and good? To keep it the better, and to hinder it from corruption, replied the other. The very same answer I give you, says the religious, concerning the Baptist; he made use of penance as of salt, to preserve his sanctity from the least corruption of sin as holy Church sings of him, “that purity of his life might not be tarnished with the least breath.” Now, if in time of peace, and when we have no temptation to fight against, it is very useful to exercise our bodies by penance and mortification, with how much more reason ought we do so in time of war, when encompassed with enemies on all side? St Thomas, following Aristotle’s opinion, says that the word chastity is derived from “chastise,” inasmuch as by chastising the body we subdue the vice opposite to chastity; and also adds, that the vices of the flesh are like children, who must be whipped into their duty, since they cannot be led to it by reason. –St Alphonsus Rodriguez ‘The Practice of Christian and Religious Perfection’.

Chastise: 1. To discipline, especially by corporal punishment. 2. To criticize severely. 3. Archaic to restrain; chasten. 4. Archaic. To refine; purify.

St Alphonsus Rodriguez writes guidance for the religious, yet I find his harsh, demanding perspective practical in contemplative pursuits as a layperson, while also touching upon a consideration into living a fully consecrated life. We are either fully in, or we are out. No dabbling. This is not a game of casualness, times of allowing explorations into the secular and nonreligious without salting ourselves. If we are not fully in, we must respect those fully in. Consideration and kindness are deeper than being casual and brash. Defenses must be up, ramparts in place, when journeying through life. I am reading a novel, ‘All We Know of Heaven” by Remy Rougeau, a Canadian Benedictine monk writing about a nineteen year old entering a Cistercian monastery. The novel captures me with its concise matter-of-fact, drab delivery; a boringness to the entire endeavor that pleases. Brutally honest realism, I suppose, with respect to Thomas Merton’s ‘Seven Story Mountain’. Poignantly ironic, I find the work of fiction realistic, and the biography delusional. In the novel there is not an underlying need for the author to establish himself as a recognized intellectual, an academic authority, a pop culture religious/literary celebrity. This is simply a monk telling a simple story. There is no great exploration of larger than life ideals, no religious history, nor romanticizing through flowery language, no desiring to expose the mystical and supernatural (a criticism I should consider reflectively), no tendency toward psychological self-absorbing introspections, no exposing of one’s inner-most being, no long sentences—saying so many things in a quick spewing. It is a simple realistic view into the occurrences within the life of a young man entering a Canadian Trappist monastery. Ordinary, yet set apart, an original thing in the world. Things can be defined by what they are not. “He walked into the house (his parent’s home after a week at the monastery) and felt as though he had returned from a foreign country; the television seemed a very odd contraption.”

No time, and thoughts are not coming out. I was aiming for the idea that God did not sacrifice His Son over two thousand years ago, and aside from the Church, basically disappear from the ways of man accidently. A God of order, there is a divine plan in place. It is difficult, demanding penance, mortification, and dedication, obviously trust and confidence, as well as obedience and surrender, the following of the ways of the Church if serious depth is to be achieved. Within and through the ordinary, the boring and mundane, we come into actualization, yet the process is difficult, the ways of the saints rigorous, brutal, and nearly impossible in regards to application.  Divine assistance please subtly abide. The extraordinary existing within the ordinary takes a fine process of revealing; romantic traps, emotional enticements, egotistical needs, the desire for intellectual gratification, artistic expression, boredom, and the flesh are always posed for a gradual or immediate devouring.  Not sure I am pleased with this entry, struggling personally with respect to perfection and longing for Ann–some days are difficult, yet never will I fully concede defeat, for as St Liguori teaches, the greatest defeat is to lose hope. My friend with the Catholic bookstore has a sign above her front door, above a holy water dispenser, ‘All yee who enter, abandon despair’. Always through faith, hope, charity and GRADUALNESS within fortitude, perseverance, and understanding–‘gratefulness for progress achieved’ maintained as a driving force, I move forward. To dabble or sit casually still is to die.  The sitting still must be done with precise purpose, adorably and prayerfully in the presence of the Eucharist. Dentist appointment this morning, natural world calls, salting performed.

All We Know of Heaven

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Too much, too soon

After the first battles that arise when one checks the flesh and passions, a person comes to a deep pool in which many go under. This is capricious reasoning, when a person is freed from crass sinfulness and is released from images to which he was attached, and freely lifts himself above time and place, which previously bound him so that he could not at all enjoy his inborn nobility. But when the eye of the intellect begins to open and a person is searching to fulfill a different and better kind of pleasure, namely, (knowledge of) the truth, enjoyment of divine blessedness, the sight of the present “now” of eternity, and the like, and when the created intellect begins to understand a bit the eternal uncreated intellect in itself and in all things, it then in some strange way happens to a person that he looks at himself–what he was before, and what he now is– And he realises that before he was miserable, godless and in need, completely blind and far from God. But now it seems to him he is filled with God and there is nothing that is not God; further, God and all things are a simple one. He grasps things too quickly, not taking enough time, then he becomes unstable…. He rushes to that which he understands or what is presented injudiciously (unwise) to him by someone who is in the same situation. He is supposed to listen to this person alone and to no one else. Then he views everything as it pleases his thinking; and things elude his grasp as they really are in themselves, be it hell, heaven, devil or angel, because such persons have only grasped God in things and have not penetrated the things with knowledge that distinguishes them in their ground, things according to their permanence or transitoriness. These people are like bees making honey. When they mature and, for the first time, storm out of the hive, they fly confused this way and that and do not know where to go. Some fly off wrong and are lost, but others return to the hive in proper fashion. This is what happens to these people. When they see God with their uninformed intellect as all in all according to their undeveloped intellect, they want to leave this or that but do not know how. It is certainly true that everything must be removed from people if they are to become perfect, but they do not yet understand how this ridding (one’s) self of everything is to take place.

–Henry Suso ‘The Exemplar’

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Imitation of Christ: Humiliation Invitation

When you strive to do the very best you know how and then, because of this, you receive from people words of scorn and contemptuous shrugs, and when they consider you in their hearts as nothing at all and think that you neither know how to nor dare to seek revenge–and if you not only stand firm and unshaken by all this but also pray lovingly to the heavenly Father for them and pardon them before him out of love–as often as you thus die to yourself out of love, just so often does my death turn green and bloom in you. When you keep yourself pure and innocent and yet your good actions are so suppressed that you are counted among the evil doers and your heart is joyful at this, and when you are so ready to forgive completely those who caused you anguish or seek your pardon for all the misery they ever caused you, as though it never happened, and, in addition, are ready to help them and render them service in word and deed in imitation of me forgiving those who crucified me, then you truly stand next to your crucified Love. When you withdraw from human advantage and comfort, except for the bare minimum you need, then your renunciation of these joys and pleasures makes up for all those who then deserted me.

When you are so free of attachments to your friends for my sake, as though they did not concern you in all things where an obstacle can occur, then I have a disciple and brother standing beneath the cross who helps me bear my suffering. The undisturbed freedom of your heart clothes and adorns my nakedness. When, in all the adversity that befalls you because of your neighbor, you are overcome for my sake and you accept the chaotic anger of all men as meekly as a silent lamb–no matter where it comes from or how quickly it arises or whether it is your fault or not–and when you thus overcome the evil of others with a good disposition, mild speech and a kind expression on your face, then the true image of my death is being fashioned in you. Truly, when I find this likeness, what pleasure and joy my heavenly Father and I experience!

Bear my bitter death in the ground of your heart, in your prayers and in the manifestation of your actions. Then you experience fully the suffering and loyal love of my pure Mother and my dear disciple.

–Henry Suso ‘Little Book of Eternal Wisdom’

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Mortification and Bearing my Cross

Jesus told his disciples,
“If any man would come after me,

let him deny himself

and take up his cross and follow me.

If any man would come after me,

let him deny himself

and take up his cross daily and follow me.

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–Matthew 16:24

–Luke 9:23

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‘…lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…’

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Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And he fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterward he was hungry. –Matthew

The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. –Mark

And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan, and was led by the Spirit for forty days in the wilderness, tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing in those days; and when they were ended, he was hungry. –Luke

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Pelican: The Pelican is a symbol of the atonement and the Redeemer and is often found in Christian murals, frescos, paintings and stained glass. The pelican was believed to wound itself in order to feed its young with its own blood. In the hymn “Adoro Te,” St. Thomas Aquinas addresses the Savior with, “Pelican of Mercy, cleanse me in Thy Precious Blood.” Allusion is even made to this belief in “Hamlet” (act iv): “To his good friend thus wide I’ll ope my arms And, like the kind, life-rendering pelican, Repast them with my blood.”

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More Than A Life

Encompassing all this,
Withholding for naught,
Auguring totality,
Things to be,
Simplicity complex,
Perplexity immense,
Innocence shattered,
A Bloody aftermath remains,
A birth, a death, a rebirth, eternity,
Falling through the ages,
Creation centers in being,
An individual extreme,
Conception, a waiting womb forming,
A slap on the bare ass, a scream,
It is time,
A life baptized,
Awake little innocent one birthed in likeness to ultimate unity,
Now you are one set apart,
Cry and scream,
Hunger and demand,
Belch and vomit,
Throw up upon yourself,
Passions aplenty,
Amazed and delighted,
Wiggle the fingers and toes,
Childhood growing,
A voice, subconscious forming,
Parents, broken adults loving, teaching, rearing,
Offering a name, others to huddle and cuddle amongst,
Effort, mistakes, success,
Pleasure and pain,
Skinned knees,
Gratifying victories,
The measles and mumps,
A broken heart,
A home run,
A game winning three,
Memories amidst the surviving,
Sitting in a pew week after week witnessing,
Receiving communion,
Generational imperfections amass,
The parental arrow that pierces was never meant to fly,
The embedded arrows within let loose the one that stings,
It is not of God, the brokenness within,
Children become fathers and mothers,
Sons and lovers,
Daughters and danger,
Siblings and sadness,
Competition and fun,
Let us cry and laugh,
Allow experiences to linger while new ones are birthed,
Surpass, surmount,
Holy Mother witness, watch, pray, shower graces,
Undo knots,
Heal,
Crush the serpent’s head,
You, the profound everlasting Mother,
Regenerate generations,
To lose one little sheep,
No, No, No,
Trinity please appease,
Through time, through births, through the many,
Emancipate one,
Enslave none,
Lord above, seated at the right hand,
A cross your earthly throne,
Your crown thorns,
Transform sorrow,
Allow joy to reign eternally supreme.
For each and every,
Heart beating within suffering,
Touch the individual standing alone,
Washed in sin, in faith, in hope, in love,
Life must surpass original sin,
Eclipse psychological and physical disasters,
A lasting train wreck God never directed,
Expand, breath into the virtues Holy Spirit,
Provide the gifts of true worldly advancement,
Archangels assist,
Bellow Gabriel, guide Raphael, protect Michael,
All you saints adore the wonder of individual creation,
Let not one escape without time changing battles,
Love the one in peril,
The Church of Christ support, sustain, inspire, teach,
Soothe the deepest wounds,
Filial infestation,
Hurting the deepest, the ones loved most,
Psychological impairment,
Blockage, obstacles,
Catholic church heal, amend,
A soft gentle touch,
A harsh brutal reprimand, discipline,
Sacramental gifting,
Transfiguration,
Obedience,
The Eucharest adoring,
Being adored,
Swallowing whole salvation.

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